Paradise Circus
by Sahara Niseli
Summary: AU. I have to pretend. I have to forget. It's the only way for me to live now so I can stop myself from spinning out of control. I'm scared that my chest might burst open and I might die...completely. (M for drugs, substance abuse & mature content)
1. Prologue

HEY, guys! I'm new to this so please take care of me. I've been a silent reader for quite a while now and I suddenly had this idea to write and it's been haunting me. So I decided to write it out. I'm not really sure but I might as well give it a shot. English is my third language but I promise to give my best in writing this story.

**DISCLAIMER: Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail**

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>

_Hey, stranger. I'm at the usual place. Wanna come over? I'll be waiting. _

Gray got dressed as soon as he read the message on his phone. He had planned to retire early for the night but sleep was too far away from his reach. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, ruffled his hair in style and snatched his longboard on the wall just beside his bedroom door before heading downstairs. His brother spotted him when he reached the living room with a bowl of popcorn in his arm.

"Where you headed to, man?" Lyon asked him and glued his eyes back to the telly.

"Somewhere." Gray mumbled, not really in the mood for his older brother's prying. He reached the street outside their apartment and pushed on the road, feeling the cold rush of the air.

Gray reached the main road and was glad that the traffic has long died out. He wanted to take his time on the way but the thought of seeing her again made him pick up his speed with caution. He arrived at base of the bar and took the stairs up to The Rooftop where he found her sitting near the railings, smoking a cigarette with a bottle of beer.

"You made it." She said as he sat across her. Gray grinned and settled his longboard against the railing and signaled the waiter for a beer.

"I had nothing to do and I wouldn't keep a lady on her own in this side of the city at this hour." He replied and took out a packet of Marlboro from his jean pocket before his drink arrived. He looked at her and noticed the bags under her glazed eyes and her face showed exhaustion. Her beautiful brown orbs were shining against the lights and her long blond locks were tied up in a messy bun.

Gray met her two weeks ago and what was supposed to be a one-night stand turned into a regular "meeting" for the both of them. She was new in town and he had been more than glad to tour her around. Every now and then they would meet, drink some, play around and have sex and it didn't take a genius to figure out where this night will lead to.

"Alice?" He asked without thinking. The girl in front of him laughed and he found himself laughing along.

She shook her head. "Try again," she said.

"Madonna? Diana? Cassandra? Samantha?"

"How about... Cleopatra?" She flashed him a wide smile as he pouted. Until now she refused to give him her name and he had been wondering why.

"It was worth a try. I'll give up for now but that doesn't mean I'll stop, stranger," he said with a sigh and lit up another stick. Gray noticed that her fingers were trembling. There was something odd about her this time. She seemed shaky but not uneasy.

"Hey, stranger," she asked quietly without looking at him, "have you ever felt as if you were hollow?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, like a hollow person. As if you have nothing inside you. Oh, crap. Nevermind. Forget I asked." She glanced nervously at him.

"No, it's fine. Well, I don't really now. Haven't thought about it."

Silence seeped through them for a moment before they decided to leave. He went with her at the hotel where she was staying at. Three days ago she was checked in a different hotel and he figured that she moved around. A lot. They bought a bottle of gin from a nearby liquor store and drank at her hotel, talked some more, and ended up in her bed- naked.

When Gray woke up the next morning, he found her wide awake, sitting on the chair in front of the window while looking at the view. She was still drinking. Gray sat on the bed for a while and observed her, noticing the paleness of her skin. He saw how beautiful she was yet it was strange that there was something else about her that draws him in and it wasn't just because of her beauty. It was a given fact that she remained as a mystery in his eyes but he knew that it was better that way. He knew that she was a puzzle that takes time to be solved, not something that must be rushed. He wanted to ask her if she had slept but he kept his mouth shut and chose to look at her in silence. Gray wondered if they will remain as strangers forever.

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><p>When he finally left Lucy Heartfilia turned off all the lights and closed the curtain. Her fingers were trembling and she was palpitating. She sank on the bed and closed her eyes but sleep was impossible and she was not hungry. She had long ago lost her appetite and had gotten used to the pain inside her stomach. She wondered when was the last time that she had a decent meal and sighed before she crawled out of bed and sat on the carpeted floor while still holding the bottle of gin on her hands. Embracing her knees, she looked in front of her and laughed. The things around her were moving and the curtains were swaying in circles. She drank and drank, paying no mind that her jaw and neck was drenched by now. Out from nowhere, little black insects started to crawl everywhere only to disappear and appear again. She didn't want this to stop. She had no reason to. It was the only way for her now- a point of no return. With shaky fingers she took out a small zip lock bag from her breast pocket and carefully took out some crystals. She settled them on the back of her hand, just below her thumb, and brought it to the side of her nose while her other finger blocked the other side. With her eyes closed, she breathed hell in heaven.<p>

**TBC**

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><p>Boring? Don't worry. This is just the beginning. It will get better. Don't forget to review! And oh, any suggestions? Comments?<p> 


	2. Born to Run

...and I'm back. Like I said before, I'm new to this whole she-bang but I take pleasure in writing this story. The title, Paradise Circus, is actually a song from Massive Attack. Characters may be OOC but it's kind of a fresh breath for me to imagine that they live in a different place and that they have different lives. So, without further ado, Chapter 1 here we go!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER ONE<strong>

**BORN TO RUN**

Friday night. A time for people to come alive and prowl the city streets under the night sky. Here and there, people are dressed to kill. Bars and nightclubs were swarming with bodies, laughter and drunken talks hovered in the air.

Cana Alberona rolled her eyes and slammed her empty glass of rum cola on the wooden table when a pink-haired idiot started provoking Laxus who was sitting beside her. She didn't bother to listen anymore and allowed her eyes to roam around, bored. Across her Mira was talking to Freed while sneaking glances at the blond man beside her. Cana inwardly snorted and wondered when will Mira finally confess to Laxus. She knew that Mira had liked the guy for years now and Laxus was an idiot for not taking notice.

Lisanna finally arrived with a new round of drinks for them and Cana did not hesitate to grab one, gulping it down straight up. It was nothing unusual for them, just a typical night out, and everyone knew that she would be the last woman standing. Hell, even Gajeel and Laxus can't beat her to it.

"Natsuuu," Lisanna whined, "let's dance. Come on." She dragged her boyfriend, who was already tipsy, away from the table towards the dance floor and joined the sea of bodies swaying and grinding all over. They were sitting outside, at the back portion of the bar since it was packed inside.

"Looks like someone's going to get laid tonight." Cana smirked and eyed the closed crystal door of the club which showed the darkened space inside. Mira slightly frowned at her friend's remark.

"I still don't approve of how their relationship has been going on. She's still my little sister." Mira said and drank her liquor.

"Don't worry. Natsu may be an idiot but he loves her." Levy said, perking up beside Gajeel who was in a heated conversation with Gray.

"Where's Erza, by the way?" Mira asked.

"On the dance floor with Jellal." Gray said and grinned, lighting up a cigarette.

Cana was getting really, really bored and snatched Freed's untouched beer in front of him. She only raised an eyebrow at him when he started to complain. From the corner of her eyes, she saw a flash of blond hair on the corner of the street, walking towards the bar. As the figure moved closer, Cana's eyes widened in recognition.

"Shit!" She stood up, ready in action until her eyes met hers.

"Guys, hurry, after her!" She shouted, no longer paying mind to the things around her before sprinting towards the blond who turned on her back and ran away. The guys were surprised but followed after her, leaving Mira, Levy, and Gray.

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><p>Lucy was getting irritated. Her dealer was out of town and she was nearly out of ice. The amount was not enough. She decided to hit the streets instead, to look-out for someone who might have some. It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter where. What matters is that she needs to fill her empty cup again. No one cares anyway and she doesn't give a rat's ass about her predicament anymore. Money was never a problem and her dad doesn't care as long as she stayed away from him.<p>

Wearing her usual ankle-high brown leather boots, a pair of white-washed ripped jeans, a white top that hugged her curves and a black jacket, she left her hotel room and brought a new bottle of gin from the liquor store along the way. She was already buzzed and her head was cramped with thoughts of here and there. Midnight was approaching.

Lucy turned on the corner and passed by a couple on a darkened alley eating each other's mouth out. She smirked.

"Get a room!" She said, making her voice loud enough for them to hear before walking away.

"Fuck off, bitch." The girl shouted after her as Lucy sniggered, trying to make a beeline towards nowhere. Reaching another alley, she went in and hid inside. After making sure that the coast was clear, she took out a zip lock from her bra and snorted some, enough to somehow keep her going. She tasted salt at the back of her throat and walked away. Her stomach was acting up but it wasn't her main priority for now.

She was alone. She had nowhere to go. It has always been this was for her since the last few weeks after she moved away from Crocus and the rush of discovering Magnolia proved to be interesting that she decided to stay here for good. Her uncle and her cousin was expecting her since Lucy was moving in with them but not for a few more days. Lucy arrived a month ago without telling them that she left Crocus earlier than what was planned. She wasn't ready yet and hoped every day that she will not run into either of them.

Then she met him. He was more than enough to keep her company. He was cool and good in bed, not the type of person who gets attached easily and he had been willing to fool around with her. Lucy wondered where he was and she almost took out her phone to text him but decided against it. Her moments with him were fleeting yet she knew that she was only using him for company and for his body. Hell, he barely even knew her and she had long ago decided not to get too close to him. It's only a pain in the ass, it will only lead to nowhere and she can't afford to drag anyone down with her.

The bottle of gin on her hand was almost empty and her mouth was getting dry. She looked for an open store and bought a bottle of water, enough to keep her thirst in check before discarding it on the bin. She knew she had been walking around, in circles even, until she decided to take a new route. Spotting a familiar looking bar, she headed straight to it only to see a familiar face looking at her. Then and there, she knew she was doomed. Cursing under her breath, she turned around and ran for her life.

**TBC**

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><p>There you go! Don't forget to R&amp;R! Until then.<p> 


	3. Strangers

Hey guys! I don't really know what I'm doing but I am on a roll today! It's already 0424am and I still have a class later at 10. Anyways, here's a new chapter.

**DISCLAIMER: Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWO<strong>

**STRANGERS**

Adrenaline pumped through her system and she can hear her heart beating right beneath her ears. She ran and ran, turned on corners, without looking back. She quickened her pace, letting her feet do the running. There was no room for thinking, no room to formulate a plan except to shake off the ones who was running after her, chasing her. She didn't even know why she ran but she knew that she wasn't ready yet. She wasn't ready to face her and answer her questions.

Lucy reached an alley and hid there but a stray cat jumped out from nowhere and she hit a wooden crate with a loud thud. "Oh, fuck!" She hissed under her breath and moved on only to reach a dead end. She turned back and saw her along with two guys, one blond and one with a long dark hair. She was trapped.

Laxus couldn't believe his eyes when he finally recognized who they were running after. The girl was like a little sister to her. It has been years since he last saw her and what used to look like a sweet angel was now a different creature in front of him.

"What the fuck, Lucy!" Cana said angrily, panting.

"Who's this chick, drunkard?" The dark haired man asked.

"She's my cousin," she said and moved closer to Lucy who looked pissed.

"Fuck off, Cana. Leave me alone."

"Lucy, you know better. What the hell have you been doing?" Laxus said.

"Not you too, Sparky. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Nuh-uh. Oi, Gajeel, knock her out." The brunette said in a commanding tone as the dark haired man beside her raised his eyebrow.

"No! Don't you fucking dare." Lucy reached from her back jean pocket and took out a swiss knife, pointing the tip at them.

"Stop it, Lucy. I know you won't come with me without putting up a fight. I'm making this easy for us."

Lucy's hand trembled from the rush and gritted her jaw. Her chest started to throb and she cursed inwardly. She was getting weak but she didn't want to just give up but before she knew it, Laxus rushed forward, hit her wrist and the knife came loose. Before she could react, she felt pain in her stomach then blackness dawned in. Laxus caught her body and threw her on his shoulder as if she was a sack. Gajeel took the discarded knife on the ground and hid it in his jacket.

The group went back to the bar, ignoring the stares from the people who passed by them. When they arrived, the whole group was sitting on their table ready for explanations.

"Let's pay up and go to my place. I'll fill everyone in." Cana said as she walked towards the parking lot.

They were lucky that Cana's dad was out for the week. Laxus gently laid her down on the couch while everyone gathered around the living room, waiting for the stranger to come to. He noticed a fresh cut on her lip and he was even more surprised to see her arms when he took off her jacket. Lucy's arms were violet and blue, all bruised up. Cana kept pacing back and forth in the front of the telly.

"Oi, Cana. Calm down and explain who this chick is." Natsu said, sitting on a chair. Pairs of eyes bored holes on the brunette who took a deep breath but Laxus beat her to it.

"She's Cana's cousin." He said plainly. In the corner of the room, Gray clenched his hand in a knuckle but kept quiet. He was surprised. No. He was more than surprised when he saw her. The world sure is small.

"Lucy, huh?" He said under his breath.

"I... Yeah, she's my cousin. She's going to live here with me but she was supposed to arrive in a few more days. No wonder her dad's assistant called me a few days ago asking where she was. She fucking ran away. Oh god, I need a drink" Cana said and left to fetch some beer on the fridge.

"What happened to her arms?" Mira asked.

"Duh. Looks like she got in a fight. Look at her temple, it's bruised too." Natsu piped in. Laxus stood up and took a ice pack from the kitchen. He settled it gently on the side of her head and brushed away the locks that had fallen on her face.

Lucy's fingers twitched as she stirred before slowly opening her eyes. She was disoriented for a while before seeing a flock of strangers and not so strangers around her. Her gaze fell on a raven haired boy standing on the corner by the window and when their eyes met, she quickly looked away. She cursed the monsters inside her head until a squeal brought her back down to earth.

"Oh my god. She's bleeding." Levy said, pointing at her face.

Lucy felt blood trickle down her nose and she wiped it away with her fingers. "Shit!"

"Oh no. What the fuck, Lucy?! Grab her Laxus." Cana said and moved quickly towards her. "So this is what you have been doing, eh?" The brunette searched her pockets until she reached inside her chest and found "it". She raised the bag in front of Lucy who only raised an eyebrow.

Lucy was too tired to fight back. She knew that she was already crashing down. Mira reached over to help her with her nose bleed but she swatted away her hand.

"Fuck off, lady."

"No. You shut the fuck up Lucy! What's gotten into you?" Laxus growled and everyone knew better than to mess up with him or add fuel to the fire.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lucy smirked at him smugly as he tried to contain himself. Tension filled the air and everyone was silent, "This is bullshit. I'm leaving." She stood up and took a step but without warning, she collapsed. Natsu, caught her just in time and eased her back on the couch. Cana checked her pockets again, found trash and a key to a hotel room.

"Sorry guys. We're going to call it a night." She said.

"Are you going to be okay?" Mira asked her in concern. Cana silently nodded.

"I'm staying." Laxus announced and everyone prepared to leave.

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><p>Gray arrived home to find it empty. He took out a beer from the kitchen and went up to his room. <em>So Lucy was her name, huh, <em>he thought. Tonight he saw another side of her, something that he knew he will never see given their current relationship. He already had an inkling that she was using drugs but what just happened confirmed his suspicions. He never saw her do it but he used to hang out with people who do it and he knows what they were like. He started to wonder what was going to happen between the two of them from now on. He felt that she was a private person yet she was not hesitant to voice out her thoughts to him when they hang out.

He found another piece of the puzzle called Lucy.

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><p>It was a day and a half before Lucy finally woke up. Cana and Laxus took out her things the day before from the hotel and checked her out while she was still out. Lucy turned to her side and opened her eyes, trying to remember what happened. The events seemed like a dream but she perfectly knew that it did happen and what's more was that she saw him. He was there and her cousin and Laxus knows him. Hell, they're even friends with him. Turning on her back, she looked at the ceiling and observed the room. The walls were painted in cream and the curtains were brown. She saw her bag and luggage on the corner.<p>

Finally, she decided to get out and found Cana in the kitchen, making breakfast. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the air and she felt her stomach rumble. She was hungry but she had to take it easy. Cana finally noticed her and motioned for her to sit on the chair.

"Coffee?" The older girl asked her.

"Black. Oh, and lots of sugar. God knows I need it." Lucy said, taking in the surroundings. She had been here a couple of times before on vacation when she was young.

"Where's uncle Gildarts?"

"On a business trip. He won't be back soon. Something came up he said." Cana finished cooking and placed the food on the table in front of her. She sat across Lucy and both of them digged in.

"So. Mind telling me what happened? You know I won't stop asking you until I get my answers.

Lucy huffed and nodded, chewing a piece of bread while stirring her coffee.

"Look, I don't know if I'm going to make sense, all right?" She began, "too much shit happened at Crocus. I had to leave but I needed a time alone. I fucked up. Like real hard. So I left without thinking and lived everywhere when I arrived here. I roamed the streets and shit, met some strangers, yadda yadda, and here I am."

"God, Lucy. What am I going to do with you? Laxus was really worried, you know." Cana said.

"Simple. Just don't mind me. School's starting soon anyways."

"Like hell I will. I'll leave you alone and what? Turn into a total junkie? Give me a break, Lucy. You're grounded and I will keep an eye on you."

"Try me."

Cana slammed her hand on the table and realized that the Lucy that she used to know was now gone. In order for her to last she knew that she must be patient with the younger girl in front of her. She lost her appetite.

"You know what, just finish eating a take a bath. You like shit."

Lucy only shrugged her shoulders and slowly finished her food.

"And oh, wash the fucking dishes after. We divide the chores here. Make sure you do you part."

After eating Lucy went back to her room and soaked in the tub. Her arms were hurting her but she was used to it. The pain was comforting. Cana threw away her lighter, her cigarette, and her god knows what and she wasn't in the mood to confront her about it.

She stepped out of the tub and wrapped her body with a fresh bath robe before heading towards her bedroom. Drying her hair, she checked the phone and found a message from her dealer that he was back in town with some good shit. Then she saw a message from him. Lucy opened it only to find that the message only contained her name. Thinking things over, she stopped for a while before replying.

_Pretend you don't know me. _Send.

It came off cold but she knows that he was no stranger now, she no longer has any reason to use him. Cana and Laxus might find out and hell will break loose for the both of them. Sure, she can risk it but he wasn't worth the trouble. Just then, her phone vibrated.

_Pretend you don't know me either. So much for this, huh. I knew you were trouble. _

That hurt. So he was just one of those judgmental people, huh. Lucy snorted and got dressed before crashing back down on her bed again. Thinking it through, she took her phone and replied.

_You don't know shit, stranger. _

Anger filled her chest and she wanted to badly to hit some but there was no way that Cana will let her leave. She had to think of a plan. Lucy rolled on the bed and fell asleep.

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><p>"Shit." Gray murmured before shoving his phone back inside his pocket and noticed Lyon raising his eyebrow.<p>

"What?" He said, eyeing his brother.

"Nothing. Anyways you coming with, tonight? Laxus said there's a little party at Cana's place. Her cousin arrived or something."

Oh hell no.

"Sure. Whatever." Gray said but he wasn't sure. He did want to see her but not too soon. The doorbell rang and Lyon left to open it.

"Good morning, losers!" Natsu barged in with a huge grin on his face.

"Shut your gob, idiot. It's early in the morning."

"Chill, ice freak." He said and sat across him, taking Lyon's place, before grabbing whatever food he can find and stuffing it inside his mouth.

Gray was soon lost in his thoughts. He remembered when he first met her. They danced together and was buzzed. He was in heat and she was too. Both of them were instantly attracted to each other and the night ended at her hotel room with the both of them going at it like animals.

He remembered how she was in bed, how enticing and beautiful she was. Gray sighed in frustration and felt the heat build up his body. He gritted his teeth before placing his place on the sink and left to take a shower. Yeah. He needed one.

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><p>Laxus was sitting in the living room with Lucy who was talking to Levy. It took a while before she finally warmed up to the group. Cana was sitting in the floor with Loke and Gajeel who were drinking rounds with both boys determined to beat her. They just never give up. Erza and Jellal were sitting side by side on the couch, trying hard not to snog each others' brains out.<p>

The doorbell rang and Laxus stood up to open it. Lucy craned her neck to see the visitors and felt her heart thump when she saw him but she was more surprised when she saw who was behind him.

"Lyon!" She jumped from the chair and ran towards the boy with a big hug. He was nearly thrown back.

"Whoa. Whoa. Easy there!" He said and broke the embrace, looking at the girl in front of him. "Lucy! I can't believe it! How long? How? I mean..."

Lucy giggled and pulled him in to sit beside her.

"You know each other?" Laxus asked as he closed the door. Natsu left and proceeded to the kitchen to get drinks and food.

"Yeah. I used to live in Crocus, remember? We went to the same school." Lyon answered, taking a bottle of beer from Natsu who quickly went beside his girlfriend who was by now talking to Erza. Gray joined the trio on the floor.

"I'm going to live here now, Lyon." Lucy announced with a wide grin on her face.

"That's great! So tell me, how have you been?"

"Nothing much. You know me."

"How's Sting? How's Rogue?"

Lucy froze and Lyon did not fail to notice the look on her face. He felt like he just stepped in a landmine.

"Err. Tell me, are you dating someone?" She nervously diverted the topic and Lyon didn't push it. Something must have happened. He only shook his head in reply.

"I'm sorry. I really want to catch up with you but I don't feel well. I'll go ahead." Lucy stood up and left. Lyon only sighed and wished he didn't ask her.

"What happened?" The blue haired petite asked, having heard their conversation.

"Nothing bad, I hope. She said she's tired." He said and stood up before joining his brother and the rest. Natsu looked around and saw their new friend missing.

"Where's Lucy?" He asked and now Lyon felt guilty.

"She went to bed."

"Ehh, why? This party is for her."

"Sorry. I asked a taboo question."

Cana looked at him for further explanation. "What question?"

"Oh, about how Sting was. I miss those jerks."

"You mean her ex-boyfriend?"

Lyon nodded before chugging down a shot.

"You didn't know?" Cana said, not realizing that everyone was listening to them by now, "Sting died a year ago."

Lyon was shocked. He didn't expect that. He wanted to go to Lucy but he had done enough. It could wait.

"What happened? I don't mean to pry but just give us a head's up. We might say something off around her again." Jellal said.

Cana and Laxus exchanged glances and the man nodded at her.

"Sting was Lucy's boyfriend for three years. I don't know much but both where close. You won't see one without the other, that's what I heard anyways but last year Lucy told me he died. That was just it. She didn't tell me how."

"Lyon? Know anything? I mean other from the fact the he died."

"Yeah, I guess, but it really is not my story to tell."

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><p>Lucy slid down on the floor with her back against the door. She can hear them. She can hear them talking about her and now that she was no longer numb; she can feel pain inside her chest. She wanted nothing more than to open the door, scream at their faces and tell them to shut the fuck up. She hated the thought of seeing them again with their faces full of pity for her. Sure, she was more than glad to see Lyon. They used to be close before he had to leave Crocus but after he left things changed and she stopped communicating with him. After he left things started to fuck up. She fucked up. Sting fucked up. And she didn't want Lyon to know so it was not a surprise when he didn't know that Sting died.<p>

A tear fell from her eyes and the flood gates opened like broken dam. She wondered since when was the last time that she cried. She was already starting to forget everything but tonight ruined it and it's not like she can just blame Lyon for what happened. Lucy didn't care anymore. The rush of emotions was too much for her and it was getting hard to control them without her crystal friends. The alcohol will only make it worse.

"Oh, fuck it!" She screamed in the inside, stood up and got dressed. Grounded or not she had to leave. She wiped the tears from her eyes and fixed herself up. Taking a deep breath, she left her room and headed straight to the door.

Laxus grabbed her arm and he was surprised to see the look on her face. She looked scared and he knew from her eyes that she had been crying.

"I'm just stepping out for fresh air." Lucy pried away his hand.

"I'm coming with you."

"No. Stay. Please. I won't fuck up. I'll be back soon."

Laxus sighed and nodded. Everyone was quiet until she left. As the door closed behind her, everyone let out the breath that they had been keeping in.

"Don't worry. It's not your fault, Lyon." Cana said and went back to lighten the mood up. After a while, Gray stood up and said that he was going home.

**TBC**

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><p>Please R&amp;R! Comments and suggestions will be appreciated for the turn of event and what not. See you on the next chapter!<p> 


	4. Rush

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER THREE<strong>

**RUSH**

No one can stop her now. She knew that she was acting out on impulse but that was how she lives. Regrets are for later and once they dawn in, all she had to do was get over them. That's how it was, how it will always be. Her emotions, to say the least, are like wild horses now and she can't take over the reign. There was nothing left to do but submit and not let her brain do the thinking. She had nothing to lose. Not anymore.

The party was in full swing when she arrived at tattoo shop owned by Bacchus. He was her dealer and the guy proved to be safe with his business. He was a good tattoo artist and owns a big shop somewhere in the city. How she happen to come across him was merely a chance encounter. The guy could be a total jerk if he wanted to but not around Lucy. When she was new in Magnolia he let her help around his shop in exchange for a few hits. He knew that she had the money but he warmed up to her pretty easily knowing that the girl needed a friend who can help her get by around town.

As much as she wanted to stay and have a few drinks, Lucy needed to be alone and Bacchus respected that. He let her in inside his private office, alone, and Lucy did what she had to do. She was still shaking from the anger, from the confusing mix of unwanted emotions that made their way inside her but she hit the ice and had a follow up thrice before locking his office and handing back the key to Bacchus who was in the sitting room of his shop, drinking with his friends.

"You okay there, kid? Looks like you need a drink." He offered her a beer but she politely declined. Lucy knew that the guys around were eyeing her but she paid them no mind, confident that Bacchus will put them at bay.

"No, thanks. I have to go. My cousin's waiting for me. I'm going to live with her from now on." She smiled and he escorted her outside.

"I'm one text away, buddy. Make sure to take it easy. All right?"

Lucy nodded, waved at hand at him and left the area. Now she needed a drink but it won't even take an effect on her. She just wanted to feel the burn on her throat and the fire in her belly and there was one perfect place to go for her. Sure it was a Saturday night but she was used to the place and the bartender knows her. She hailed a cab on the main road and told the cab driver her destination.

"The Rooftop."

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><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_The days stretched on. Unanswered calls, unread messages, knocks in her door with threats of breaking it down. She paid them no mind. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to talk to anyone, answer to anyone. She just wanted to disappear just like how he did. She had to give it to him, hands down, for just disappearing, never to come back again. She was his sun and now there's nothing but an empty sky doming her in. _

_He was already three feet under yet she still can't believe that he's gone even if she was the one who saw it all happen. She didn't tell anyone. She was too numb to process everything and the trauma was too much. Yes. That was it. Everything was too much for her to handle. She was brought up in a very protective environment. She had friends who loved her dearly and treated her like a princess but she didn't want that. It was as if she was trapped in a shell, with no doors, no windows. Soon, the comfort that she felt became a suffocating smoke and she wanted out. And he cracked the shell. _

_He made her see the real world, the dangers and the thrills of being alive. He made her feel what it was like to actually feel her blood course through her veins. He made her feel how a heart can pound just by a smile, a word or two, a kiss. He made her feel like she can do everything and made her feel like how it is to be actually strong and he made her happy and she liked spinning around his grin. During those days her memories of him were the little things that sustained her and kept her going but they eventually turned into nightmares that pushed her into the brink of madness._

_She didn't want to remember anymore. She wanted to erase everything and forget even the fact that they were together. Without him she reverted back to her old weak self until she found an escape. It didn't matter to her if she was running away, if she was lying to herself. It didn't matter to her if she can no longer feel anything. Nothing is better. Pain is too much._

* * *

><p>"Sapphire. Straight up. Keep it coming."<p>

Bob wiggled his eyebrows at her but nodded and left to prepare her drinks. After a while he arrived with a small plate of roasted peanuts along with her drink.

"Where's the dark angel tonight, darling?" He meant Gray. The bartender asked as she took the shot glass and chugged it down before shrugging in reply. Bob instantly knew that she needed her space.

"Call me if you need anything, darling."

"Thanks, Bob."

The meth kicked in full swing and she felt like laughing. She turned on her seat and watched the people drinking around her. The bar was not fully packed and she knew that she made the right decision. Her jaw was starting to itch so she took a gum from her pocket and popped it in, savoring the minty flavor mixed with the salt from the crystals and the herbs from the gin. She drank two more shots and Bob refilled her shots again before leaving off to accommodate another customer. Then, her phone vibrated which made her jump on her seat.

_Hey, Stranger. _

Lucy rolled her eyes and her phone vibrated again.

_Where you at? _

It wasn't any of his business and she didn't want anything from him but at the back of her head she knew that she wanted to see him, she wanted to talk to him again but she knew better.

_Don't bother me. _Lucy replied and looked at the roasted peanuts in front of her. Just the sight and the thought of chewing it made her want to puke her guts out. With a grimace, she shoved away the small plate and toyed with the empty shot glass. Remembering that she bought a cigarette earlier, she took the packet out from her pocket and mentally cursed herself for forgetting to buy a lighter.

"Need a light there, honey?"

Great. A douchebag. But she needed a lighter and allowed him to light up her smoke. Checking him out, Lucy concluded that he wasn't half bad until he started pestering her.

"Look, if you want to fuck around go somewhere else. Thank you for the light. I can manage now."

"Chill. You looked like you were lonely so I figured you needed someone to talk to." He said and finally sat on the empty seat beside her.

"I don't really want to be rude right now but can you just leave me alone?" She said, a vein popping on her forehead.

"Come on. Loosen up, hun." He smirked and Lucy felt herself getting pissed.

"Are you deaf? I told you to get lost and leave me-"

"You heard the lady, dude." Another voice said. Lucy turned to see. The jerk beside him held his hands up in front of him and stood up to leave.

"Tch. Whatever."

Lucy rolled her eyes. Can't her night get any better? A jerk after another. Gray sat beside her and motioned the bartender for a beer who only gushed and giggled at Lucy who was by now scowling.

"What are you doing here, Gray? I told you not to bother me."

"Just as I thought you'd be here."

"What do you want? I'm really not in the mood to talk."

"All right. Then let's not talk. But you owe me from saving your ass from the dickhead."

"Like I needed any help. That was totally unwanted but whatever. Order what you want then shut up and be grateful."

He took a swig from his beer and snatched the cigarette on her mouth to light up his.

"I didn't say I wanted a drink from you." He smugly said, earning a pissed off stare from her.

Now she felt like leaving. At her state she didn't want to deal with anyone. Her body was getting crazy from the rush and she started fidgeting on her seat.

"All right. Come on. Let's fuck."

"Whoa. Whoa. Not tonight, Stranger. Or should I say Lucy? And what made you think I wanted that?"

"Then what the fuck do you want from me, asshole?" She said it a little bit too loud that people turned their heads to look.

"Hmm. Let's ditch this place. I wanna show you something." Before she can refuse, Gray paid their bill and dragged her downstairs.

* * *

><p>The Rooftop was an extension of the first floor but the scene below was different. Sometimes the floor was open for indie bands catering to different genres but tonight a hardcore band was playing and the place was a total moshpit. People were jumping up and down, punching here and there and they were getting crazy. Lucy felt her body tingle at the sight but it was not her kind of danger.<p>

"You're kidding me, right?" She shouted at him. He pushed her on the safe side and went behind her. She can feel his chest on her back with his hand on her shoulders. He pulled her closer to keep her safe.

"Just jump. Whatever. Don't worry. I got you." She shivered when she felt his hot breath on her ears and neck. Suddenly feeling giddy, they both blended in the crowd but didn't join the main thing. He did keep her safe and pushed the people who got too close to them or when a hand or two was about to hit them. Lucy and Gray moved together with the crowd and the beat of the drums and she felt herself laughing along with him until he eventually got tired and pulled her out of the bar.

"That was great." He panted, wiping the sweat of his forehead.

"Not bad." She giggled, breathless from the rush and all.

"All right. Come on, I'll take you home."

Lucy froze when he took her hand as if it was a natural thing. How long has it been since the last time someone held her hand? She wanted to break it off but she liked how it felt. Ignoring the protests inside her head, she followed along and let him hold her hand but her thoughts got ahead. He turned to her when she stopped walking.

"I don't want to go home. Just take me somewhere. Anywhere."

* * *

><p>He chuckled at the look on her face. Red tinged her cheeks and she seemed almost shy. Gray bit his inner cheek, smiled and nodded.<p>

"Where are you taking me?" Gray heard her ask beside him. They had been walking uphill for a good while now without talking.

"We're almost there." He said curtly and pulled her close. They walked some more until they reached a small park with a few benches and a curved rail that showed the whole city. The view was breathtaking. She ran towards the rail and looked at the city lights down below that glimmered like dark colored gems. A rush of cold air blew through them as she inhaled the cold breeze.

"It's so beautiful." She said like a little girl who discovered a chest full of dolls and dresses. Gray laughed lightly and leaned his back on the rail. He looked at her and for once he saw that her eyes were shining brightly. _So she can look cute when she wanted to, _he thought and chuckled. Lucy turned her head and blushed.

"What? Stop staring at me."

Gray shook his head and turned on his back to look at the view. "I found this place by pure chance. I was looking for a good place to skate down hill and found this park. So I used to come here and rest after I skate."

"Well, whatever. But thanks for bringing me here."

Looking at her again, he wanted nothing more than just to brush her cheek with the back if his hand and pull her to a kiss but he knew that would be a wrong move. Not now. Not yet.

**TBC**

* * *

><p>Here's another update. Please do read and review. What do you guys think? Should I continue this? Well, I want to but if it's bad or something... Oh well. HAHA. Anyways, any requests? See you guys on the next chap! Cheers!<p> 


	5. Talk is Cheap

THANK YOU so much for those who reviewed and liked this story. It meant a lot to me!

**NOPE. I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER FOUR<strong>

**TALK IS CHEAP**

Summer passed by and her days were spent like they were nothing. For someone who was constantly on ice, time was nothing but a concept that held society together. Lucy stopped going out for a while. She remained holed up inside her bedroom before Cana had to drag her out for some shopping. A few times, Laxus and the rest of the gang came to visit but Lucy left her room only to say hello and leave them again. It wasn't that she didn't like their company but as much as possible, she wanted to prevent anything that might stir her up again. Gray asked her out a couple of times and in the wrong moments at that. Far from being sober every day, she refused to see him unless they were going to have sex.

Sometimes Lucy and Cana would drink until sunrise, and talk about little things. The older woman tried to somehow make her cousin talk but Lucy kept her mouth shut and would leave Cana to drink alone when she pried too much. Then, there was the thing with her addiction. She wanted to stop but at the same time she didn't. She lost weight and her skin grew pale over time. It wasn't that she was scared of going through withdrawal, she was wary that her cousin and Laxus might find out again and she didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes and Lucy knows that she was under Cana's responsibility. Laxus, on the other hand, was like a big brother that she never had but Lucy loved the moments when she was high. Locking herself up in her room, she would lie on her bed and stare at the ceiling waiting for her world to spin and morph. Sometimes she would hallucinate and do things that she would eventually forget after the crash.

Lucy entered college and majored in Literature. She was surprised to find out that she and Levy had the same classes together. The blue haired-girl would always try to get close to her and tell her to join her at the cafeteria for breaks or for a cup of coffee but she would always decline and make up excuses. As much as possible, she wanted to not get close to anyone but things don't always go her way.

* * *

><p>"Hey! Hey, Lucy! Wait up!"<p>

She heard someone call out from behind her. Lucy stopped on her tracks and looked back. A silver-haired guy waved and jogged his way to her.

"What's up, Ly?"

"I haven't seen you for a while since the...uh, you know," he said, not looking at her in the eyes, "anyways, I was thinking if maybe we could hang out and catch up?"

Lucy bit her lip, hesitant, but Lyon was an old friend and he don't deserve to receive a cold shoulder from her.

"Sure. I'd love to. What do you have in mind?"

He grinned at her. "It's a surprise but I can guarantee that you'll like it. I want to make up for what happened. I'll pick you up Friday night before dinner."

"You know I hate surprises, Ly, and it wasn't your fault in the first place. Now spill or I'll go crazy just counting the days until Friday." Lucy perked up at this. He was still the same old Lyon that she used to spend hang out with a lot after school when she was at Sabertooth.

"Like I said, it's a surprise." He chuckled and left her with a wink. Lucy remained in her spot and watched until his figure disappeared. He was now taller, more muscular, and his facial features have sharpened over the years. For the first time, Lucy finally admitted to herself that he indeed used to like him but it was just some sort of a crush. People used to think that there was something going on between the two of them but it there never was, they were just close enough to be called best friends. He was her first kiss, after all, but the rumor of them dating eventually died out when Sting asked her out and soon after, Lyon found himself a girlfriend.

Smiling slightly at the pleasant memory, Lucy turned on her heels and headed straight towards the exit of the school building. It was already 7 in the evening and the campus was almost deserted. She was dead tired her eyes were itching from the lack of sleep since Cana forced her to drink the night before. Lucy turned on the corner, quiet in her steps, when she saw something off. She stopped, making sure no one noticed her, and listened.

"-from them. You're just a pathetic bitch. Who would want you?" A high pitched voice said then a bang on the locker door.

"B-b-but they're my f-friends." A soft voice said, one that Lucy recognized. Her eyes widened and she stealthily craned her neck to see what was happening.

Friends?! Don't fuck with me. You're just a social climber, McGarden. What a parasite. Leeching off from your so-called friends?"

"Like I said I'm not so ple-"

Levy hit her back on the locker when she took a step back. Three bimbos were surrounding her and Lucy scoffed at how the girls acted like they were teenagers on puberty. They clearly had some unsorted out issues with their sad excuse for a life.

"Stay away from them, McGarden. You're just a weed. You got that? If we see you again hanging out with Dragneel's group, you better hire a security...if you can afford one." The three girls laughed a laugh that sounded like shrieks in Lucy's ears.

Tears were threatening to fall down from Levy's eyes which made Lucy roll her eyes. It wasn't like it was any of her business but the sight was too annoying for her. It was no question that the three girls were filthy rich judging from the way they dress and their flashy signature bags. If she wanted to, Lucy could be just like them but she didn't want to be siphoned off in a plastic bag with a label that says "dumb blonde".

Lucy moved forward and approached them with a sly smile on her face. The bimbo in the left gasped but caught herself and raised her eyes.

"Bullying? Pretty pathetic if you ask me. How old are you, bitches? 14?" Lucy said. Levy slipped to the side beside Lucy who was facing them.

"It's none of your business, dumb blonde."

Lucy felt like jabbing the girl who just spoke with her fountain pen in the eyes. "Huh. Whatever. I have no time to deal with scums who uses threat and dirty moves just because their money can't be of use to them when it comes to situations like this. Can't buy Dragneel's attention, huh? Ooops, better call you daddy or something." She smirked, pulled Levy along and walked off.

"We're not done yet, you hag!"

Lucy raised dirty finger above her. They reached the gate in silence and Lucy let go of Levy's hand and walked off with saying anything.

"Lucy, wait!" The smaller girl brisked walk to catch up with her fast pace.

"What?"

"T-thank you." Levy's voice quivered.

"Whatever. Go home."

Lucy mentally smacked herself for getting involved. Now she probably have those witches on her heels. Additional trouble for her. Lucy decided to head to The Rooftop instead and texted Gray who came a few minutes after. He, too, just got out school and had been wanting a drink.

Bob was on duty and flashed them a knowing look when he came over to serve their drinks. Lucy only rolled her eyes at him and Gray pretended that he didn't see anything. Tonight was the first time that he saw her again. He was surprised to see the bags under her eyes then he remembered how she sounded off every time he texted her for the past few days. There can only be one reason for her behavior but he was not in a position to confront her about it then it led him to wonder what kind of relationship do they actually have.

Whenever they were together she acted as if they have been friends for a long time and sometimes they were like lovers but through it all, there was something different about how they would spend their time together: despite their physical closeness and subtle touches, there was always an invisible wall that kept them apart. Gray can feel that every time he would touch her, there was always this some sort of magnet that jerks her back away from him and he would pull back as if he was slightly electrocuted. Also, the fact that he was not supposed to tell anyone that they know each other and that they'd been seeing each other for quite a while now left him confused. Why the secrecy? But nonetheless ,he was somehow glad that they agreed to keep it between the two of them. It was like being 5 years old again, keeping a secret and holding a promise.

"So, how do you find Fairy Tail?" He asked her after Bob left.

Lucy gulped down a mouthful of beer before replying. "Not bad actually but it's too early to say. That reminds me, what department do you belong to? Haven't seen you around. The pink-haired guy too."

"His name is Natsu," Gray smiled, "and that's because our building is on the opposite side. The big one with the slanted top. Natsu, Gajeel, and I go to the same department with Laxus but he's taking up Engineering while the three of us are trying hard not fail college so we can become Architects."

"No kidding?! You? An architect?" Lucy pretended to be shocked and looked at him with squinted eyes.

"Hey, I'm offended." He frowned at her until she giggled. She was actually surprised at what she found out. Gray then explained to her that ever since he was a kid, he had been dreaming to become one but Natsu's case was different. When they reached their last year as high school students, Natsu was still confused and didn't know what to take up. His dad wanted him to take over their family business but he said that it was no fun and business meant endless meetings with old, fat, and bald men who fantasizes about teenage girls in uniforms. Lucy cracked at what Gray told her before he continued his story.

"So, he asked what my plan was so I told him. By the next day, he announced that he's going to join me because he said that I needed him by my side. He said he was scared that I'll embarrass myself in college and make a fool out of myself in front of girls and shit that I might end up a virgin until I reach 50 and no one would want me not unless I pay for it. Hell, I nearly punched him dead that time but he's an idiot. He may not know what he's doing but an idiot always 's doing good in class actually. He gets along just fine through cheating and acting like a kid."

Lucy smiled as she watched him tell the story. Natsu seemed to be the kind of person who spouts off bullshit from his mouth. She wondered how he managed to catch Lisanna's heart. The girl was pretty cute, too cute for her own good.

"So what about you? I heard from Levy that you have the same classes with her." He asked before finishing his beer. Lucy cringed slightly at the mention of her name, remembering what happened earlier.

"Nothing much and yeah, I was surprised when I found out that we have the same interest when it comes to books. I guess I'll have to say that I'm kinda like Natsu. I mean, at first I didn't really know what to do. My dad wanted me to take up a business related course as well but I told him not in a million years. I had no plans of succeeding him in the business empire. I hate being restricted in an environment that's too uptight."

"Yeah, I can see that," he said and paused for a while as if he was hesitating to say what was in his mind, "I mean you strike me as someone who's like a free and wandering star. I don't really get it but that's how I see you." Gray chuckled nervously.

"You say weird things sometimes, Mr., but I think you meant that I'm a lost star. No, scratch that. A fallen star, probably. Whatever that is."

They talked some more, ordered another round before falling into a comfortable silence. Lucy looked to her side and watched the night sky bathe the buildings black and blue along with the glimmer of lights. The Rooftop was surprisingly full even though it wasn't a weekend. She felt comfortable tonight. In fact, Gray proved to be the only person that she can relax around with. There were gaps between the two of them but there was never an awkward moment whenever she was with him. She liked being in his company but at the same time she was scared that she might over-indulge and get ahead of herself.

At first she only wanted to use him but with the turn of events, things changed and she felt as if she wanted to depend on him, show him her weakness and trust him but that would be asking too much. She had no idea what her place is in his life and she's too afraid to ask. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries and create a situation that might shake her up again but the thought of seeing herself in his embrace made her heart flutter like never before, the kind of embrace without pretenses.

_Oh, fuck it, _Lucy thought as her favorite song played loud and clear on the speakers. She stood up and pulled him on the floor. "Dance with me."

Gray froze for a moment when she pulled him close and wrapped her hands at the back of his neck. He sighed and rested his hands on her waist as they moved along with the slow rhythm of the song. Seeing what happened, a few couples joined them on the floor. Gray looked down and saw her blush as she bit her lip. For a moment he felt like he discovered something new about her again, something that he cannot quite explain but it was simple enough for him to comprehend. _She needed someone._ They danced slowly under the stars like nothing else matters. Gray noticed that Bob was eyeing them from the bar counter and the bartender raised his thumb up at his direction which made him laugh.

"What?" Lucy asked him, stepping back a little.

Gray shook his head and pulled her back closer into a hug. "Nothing, Stranger." He moved a hand behind her head pulled her in until the side of her face rested comfortably on his chest. _Nothing at all, _he thought.

**TBC**

* * *

><p>There! How was it? Err. Please R&amp;R! Oh, I take requests and stuff. Comments... whatever. Anything. So tell me what you guys think. I'll be working on the next chapter after I post this. See you! :)<p> 


	6. Burn

Lemon drops.

And oh, a big thanks to **AsDarknessSpreads!** :)

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER FIVE<strong>

**BURN**

Closing the door behind them, Gray pushed her to the wall and pressed his body to her, both tipsy and buzzed. She she sucked and bit his lower lip as they exchanged heated kisses. Breaking their joined lips, Gray took off his clothes and he helped her after. They were soon naked, bodies close together. Gray licked the side of her neck and his hot breath made her shiver. Lucy moaned softly when he started to roll her nipple with his fingers before clamping the hardened bud with his mouth, licking it, and slowly grazing his teeth along it every now and then.

She was soaking wet when he brought her towards the bed as his hardened member pressed against her belly. Grinding against her made Lucy squirm.

"I want you now."

Gray shook his head and kissed her mouth, his tongue dancing with hers. Gray ran his finger on her thigh and pulled it upwards until her leg hooked his back before he teased her wet folds with his finger. He played with her clit, making her moan his name out.

"Gray. Please."

Lucy was breathing heavily and her face was flushed. He looked at her, his eyes filled with lust and broke away to take off his boxers. The sight of his hardness fueled something inside her. Lucy took over until he was lying on his back. Admiring his toned chest, she brushed her fingers all over his chest, teasing his nipples until he hissed with a curse. Lucy moved lower and started stroking his shaft with a slow pace.

"Fuck, Lucy. Suck me." He said with a commanding tone.

Lucy tightened her grip and started to lick the pre-cum that leaked out his tip. She ran her tongue all over his stiffness before she took it in her mouth. Lucy fingered herself while sucking him off and the sight made Gray growl. Lucy took him in, whole, and began to pick up her speed. She felt his muscles tighten as she bobbed her head up and down. Feeling the pressure, Gray started moving his hips against her.

"Shit, Lucy. I'm close."

She sucked him harder making his dick twitch from the pressure until he came all over her mouth. He was still hard. He rolled her over and entered her without hesitation. There was no need for him to slow down. Gray knew how she likes to be fucked. Hard and intense. Rough. He slammed against her, hitting her pleasure spot. Skin against skin. Lucy wiggled from the pleasure as his hands clutched her sides as if he was trying to crush her hips. She clutched the sheets underneath her.

"Faster. Faster, Gray."

Lucy moaned, her breathing ragged, as she locked her eyes on his. Beads of sweat trickled down from his handsome face, his eyes dark with lust.

"On your knees."

Whimpering, Lucy turned over and gasped when he shoved his dick in. He knew she was close. Gray pumped harder and harder, making her scream out from the pleasure. Gray growled, feeling himself close as well.

"I'm coming. Uhhh. Nnhhg. Harder. Fuck me harder!" Lucy screamed until she felt his dick throb as her walls tightened around him, making him hiss in release. They broke off, panting together, their with sweat and juices. Gray fell on his back beside her. Her chest was heaving up and down as she turned on her side to face him. Lucy traced the contours of his face and gently brushed his hair with her fingers.

"Mmm. That feels nice."

Lucy giggled and pulled him closer. Gray moved his arm under her neck, wrapping it around her bare shoulders as she rested her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to the rhythm of his heart, almost wishing that it would beat for her. As he traced lazy circles in her shoulders, the sound of his heartbeat lulled her to sleep.

* * *

><p>Lucy arrived at the back of the library building, panting slightly. She almost forgot that she was supposed to meet Cana there before they heading<p>

home together. She had the afternoon off and she needed to catch up with her sleep. Apparently, Cana wasn't alone. The whole group was there, sitting on the grass and eating pizza as if they were having a picnic. Erza spotted her and called her over.

"Come on, food's waiting!"

Lucy grimaced as she saw Natsu stuff his face with pizza, laughing while chewing and bits of the chewed stuff flew here and there until Lisanna smacked his arm in disgust. She approached the group and forced a small smile.

"Where's Laxus?" Lucy asked as she scanned the heads present. Her eyes met Gray's piercing gaze and felt herself heat up. She looked away quickly.

"Dunno. Said he's busy or something." Mira said with a smile as she gave her a pizza. Lucy declined saying she just ate. Which was a total lie, of course. Suddenly, Levy stood up and took something from her bag.

"Uhm. Lucy, here," the small girl held out a bag of cookies, "this is thank you. For yesterday."

"What? What? What happened yesterday? And why only Lucy?" Natsu piped in, eyeing the bag of cookies like a hungry dog.

"I don't need it."

"Give it to me then!" Natsu held out his hand but Erza smacked his head to shut him up.

"But... please take it Lucy. I wanted to thank you properly." Levy was getting nervous.

"Tch. Whose fault do you think it was? Don't get me wrong. It's not like I wanted to help you." Her voice was cold. Everyone kept their mouth shut and looked at what was happening. Even Natsu stopped eating.

"I...-" Levy squeaked and bowed down her head.

"Keep it. I don't want it. I only did what I had to because it was fucking annoying. That's what you get for being weak and feeling little. You make me sick!"

"Lucy!" Cana looked at her cousin, angry. Lucy rolled her eyes, masking her face with indifference.

"I'm just being honest. Seriously, Levy, you better stop being such a pathetic little bitch-"

SLAP!

"That's enough, Lucy!" Cana shouted. Mira and her sister gasped and jaws dropped, feeling awkward. No one would dare to intervene between a girls' fight.

"What was that for?! She deserved it!" Lucy gritted her teeth in anger, trying hard not to nurse her stinging cheek, pointing her finger at Levy who whimpered. Cana was about to say something but Levy stopped her.

"No. Please. Stop." Levy said, trying her hardest not to cry, her lips were trembling.

"Whatever. Enjoy your pizza." Lucy said, stalked off and left the group, confused why she bursted out like that.

"I'm sorry, Levy. I know she didn't mean it that way." Cana said in apology after calming down when the tension finally dropped.

"But that was uncalled for," Gajeel growled harshly, still looking at Lucy's retreating figure.

"I know that Lucy's a bit... difficult. Don't worry. I'll talk to her tonight."

Levy shooked her head. "No. It's fine. Lucy's right."

"What happened anyway?" Lisanna asked.

"Nothing. It's just a small thing. Don't worry about it."

"You sure? Tell me if anyone does anything bad to you. I'd beat them blue." Erza said, her voice full of concern for the younger girl.

"Thank you guys. And oh, Cana, please bring this with you." She handed the bag of cookies to her with a soft smile.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_Lucy opened her locker and her eyes widened at the sight. To say that she was surprised was a big understatement. She was used to it but today was too much. She left home with her dad screaming at her in anger over something that was so trivial. Now, school was just another place in hell. Her books were torn and her writing materials were broken. It was the fifth time now. She sighed and reminded herself to clean it out and decided to just leave her locker empty. A girl passed by and shoved her against the locker, making her head hit the cold metal with a bang. _

_"Rich bitch." She heard someone say which was soon followed by a snigger and a girlish laughter. Lucy kept her cool and proceeded to her class. Lunch time arrived and someone tripped her. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She stood up from the cold floor and brushed herself off, ignoring the mocking laughter around her. She decided to skip the entire afternoon and headed towards the rooftop to cry as she hugged her knees. Just then, she felt someone tap her shaking shoulder. _

_"You have it tough, huh?" _

_Lucy turned around to see a guy with a spiky blond hair flashing her a smile. She nodded and wiped the tears away, embarrassed that she was caught crying. The guy sat beside her. _

_"Don't worry. Don't let it get to your head." _

_"Thanks but if you're pitying me then please stop." Lucy said, trying not to croak. She knew she was weak but she didn't want anyone to see her break down like this. _

_"I'm not. I used to get bullied so I know what it's like." _

_"Really?" The guy chuckled at her and nodded his head. _

_"Really, really." _

_"So what did you do?" Lucy turned to look at him and noticed that he had a far away look in his eyes as if he was actually recalling his past. _

_"Nothing. I just didn't let it affect me. I minded my own business but I didn't let the bastards dictate me. I just... lived, I guess." He faced her and smiled again, his hair glowed golden against the sun. _

_"I'm Lucy." She felt herself blush and smile. Somehow she felt light just being beside him. _

_"Sting," he said, still looking at her with kind eyes, "so, Lucy, do you want to live?" _

_She nodded without hesitation. Sting stood up and held out his hand to her. Lucy slowly reached out. Hand in hand, he pulled her up. _

_"Come on. I'll show you how."_

* * *

><p>Lyon opened the door to a two-story house and locked the door once they were inside. It was pretty neat, almost cozy and gave off a warm atmosphere.<p>

"Where's your family?" Lucy asked as he led her to the kitchen to take out a six-pack beer.

"My mom's busy at the ward and my sister's working in another hospital. My brother won't be home until later." Lyon explained. Lucy raised an eyebrow but eot queit. She had always thought that he was an only child. They climbed up the stairs and went inside his bedroom. The room was painted in blue and it was neat. Even the bed was made. Lucy sat on the it as he opened the window for fresh air.

"Just like the old times, huh?" She said with a smile.

"Yeah. Except that we always stay at your place," Lyon sat on the carpeted floor and pulled the oval rug behind his bed. Lucy joined him on the floor and opened the beer with a pop.

"Oh. Just a minute." Lyon stood up and left the room. Lucy let her eyes wander around. Across the bed was a telly, sitting atop a shelf full of DVD's, books and some magazines. She noticed an electric guitar on the corner beside an amplifier. Her room was a big mess compared to his. Lyon arrived with a box and a white ceramic ashtray.

"What's that?"

Lyon grinned and settled the box on the rug. "My surprise."

"All right. I'm scared now. Hooho." Lucy laughed.

"Ready?"

She nodded as he opened the lid and revealed heaven. Lucy squealed and laughed, her eyes wide. "Oh my god! You're the best, Ly! I haven't had these little wonders in a long while! Where did you get these?"

The boy laughed at her seemingly cute reaction. "Let's just say I had my ways. I'm glad you like it."

"Wait. Let me finish me beer. Don't want to mix them too soon!"

"How's your cheek, by the way?" He teased.

"Oh, please. Don't remind me. But damn, that drunkard can slap!" They both laughed.

Lyon laid his back in the floor. "You know, you should try and stop being hostile with them. They're not that bad."

"I'll think about it."

They talked for a while over beer and Lucy told him why she left Sabertooth. It was fine since she knew she'd be laughing silly with him in a while. "After he died I fucked up, real hard. Seeing Yukino and Rogue together just made me feel bitter. I lashed at them a couple of times but they said it was fine, that they understand. After that they kept their distance whenever they're with me. They stopped holding hands and stuff. I can see that they were suffering as well and things got awkward so I decided not to hang out with them anymore so instead I hang out with the wring people and got drunk. A lot. My reputation changed too. Rogue tried to talk sense into me but I didn't listen. I know I was being selfish back then but it was the only way for me to cope up with what happened." She explained.

Lucy left out the parts where she indulged herself in

alcohol and meth. She didn't want to see a flash of worry surface on Lyon's face. He just sat there, across her and listened but that was not what he wanted to hear.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did he die?"

Lucy tensed at his question and at the memory. She shook her head. "Sorry. I don't know. He just...died."

Lyon figured that she didn't want to talk about it yet. It seemed as if the whole thing was still fresh for her as if it happened yesterday but he suspected thaylt there was someyhing wrong with the whole picture. He decided not to push the topic further.

"Okay. Let's talk about something else," he heard Lucy let out a sigh with a smile when he said this, "but I want you to know that if ever you feel like talking about it I'm here, all right? Just like the old times.

"Thanks, Ly."

"That's my girl," he smiled widely, "all righty then! Let's meet the aliens from the outer space!" She laughed as he opened the lid, revealing the mouth watering space brownies.

"Dig in!"

Gray heard an upbeat music and laughter when he climbed up the stairs. He stopped on his tracks, carrying his long board, when he heard a girlish laughter next to his brother's familiar voice. _Heh. So he brought a girl home, eh_. Gray smirked and went to his own room. The sound of laughter was almost infectious that he found himself laughing along as he shut the door. He shook his head and went to bed thinking about Lucy.

He went earlier, after class, to skate with his friends but he constantly checked his phone. Unfortunately, he received nothing. He wouldn't think twice of ditching his friends if she asked him to. Gray realized that she became someone who was important to him. _I must really like her then. _He smiled and closed his eyes.

He knew that she was slowly opening up to him and that they have finally left the stage of just being strangers who played around but then there was the thing earlier with Levy. He wondered what the hell happened. Gray had an inkling that Levy was being pushed around again just like what happened to her when they were still young. Tossing and turning on his bed, he cleared out his thoughts and fell asleep, tired from skating downhill.

Gray woke up and rolled on his bed with a yawn. He checked the clock on his bedside table and saw that it was nearly noon. His stomach grumbled and the thought of food made him jump out of his bed. Changing his clothes, he went to the bathroom and fixed himself. It was Lyon's turn to make breakfast today. _He better be up, _Gray thought, streching his body before leaving his room.

He went out and realized that the whole place was silent. Groaning, he knocked on Lyon's door, banging it loudly after a few knocks.

"Oi! Lyon! Wake up man!" He said loudly, still knocking on the door. Still, there was silence. Annoyed, Gray turned the doorknob but somebody beat him to it. His eyes widened at what he saw. The person in front of him was wearing nothing but a large t-shirt that looked all too familiar. Of course, it was Lyon's. Her hair was messy and she was rubbing her eye. She stopped when she recognized him.

"Lucy!?"

**TBC**

* * *

><p>I apologize if I made any mistakes or typos. I worked on this at around dawn so yeah. Anyways, what do you guys think? The story's picking up now. Things are starting to run uphill and the missing characters are about to appear soon. Hohoo. I'm working on the next chapter now so I might upload it later the soonest. R&amp;R, guys! See you!<p> 


	7. Drop The Game

**DISCLAIMER: HIRO MASHIMA OWNS FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER SIX<strong>

**DROP THE GAME**

The sound of her own name rang in her ears. She felt like she was having a dream within a dream. There, he stood in front of her, his dark eyes wide.

"This is silly. I'm seeing things again." Lucy said with a giggle. She went back to bed in a zigzag and collapsed, hey eyes heavy and her head hazy. Gray cleared his throat but the girl did not move a muscle. He saw his brother lying on the floor with nothing but a pair of boxers on. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist into a knuckle, wanting to punch him. He went inside and kicked Lyon's shin.

"Wake up, asshole!" He didn't know why he was pissed but there was the evidence and he made his conclusion. He kicked Lyon again, this time on his side, who finally stirred and opened his eyes.

"What the fuck?" Lyon stared at him and then looked at the figure lying on his bed.

"Heh. So you got laid, huh? Congratulations." Gray said sarcastically and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. _I should have fucking known! _He paced inside his room, angry.

Lyon sat for a while, trying to process everything. He shrugged his shoulders before he stood up and got dressed.

"Lucy," he poked her cheek, "hey wake up."

The girl mumbled and yawned. "What? Oh. Is it morning already?"

"Yeah. Come on. I'll make breakfast."

"I thought I woke up already." Lucy crawled out of bed, took her bag on the table and fished out her hair brush. Lyon only laughed, trying to remember what they did the night before.

"Crazy. I'll be downstairs."

Lucy went to the bathroom and fixed herself, wearing her clothes again from last night. Her mouth was dry but she was glad that her head wasn't pounding. Just... kind of hazy and floaty. She laughed, remembering her "dream". _Silly me. I must probably miss him. _Lucy shook her head and headed downstairs.

She helped Lyon make breakfast, just something simple. "Last night was crazy, huh." She said with a laugh.

"Yeah. Damn, that movie we watched, what happened? I know we finished it but I didn't understand anything." He said, toasting bread.

Lucy laughed. "Oh, man. It was scary, all right but I don't know too. All I remember was that I kept on screaming every time the psycho appeared. Can't remember much."

They sat on the table, heard footsteps descend down the stairs and an angry looking Gray arrived. Lucy choked on her coffee.

"Gray? What are you doing here?"

"Duh. I live here."

"Eh? You don't know? Gray's my brother." Lyon explained seeing Lucy's confused face. He looked at Gray who ignored them who pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"What?! No way!"

"Half-brother, actually." Gray said snobbishly and Lucy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Lyon smirked while Lucy was lost in her thoughts. So, it wasn't a dream after all.

"And look who got laid last night. How was she? Wild?" Gray spat, glaring at Lucy.

"Eh? Lyon? You got laid?!" How slow, Lucy. How slow of you.

"What, what?" Lyon was confused. Did he got laid? But he was with Lucy all night. Did they...? Impossible.

"Did I fucking stutter? Tch. Whatever." Gray left the two who fell silent. Lucy felt her spirit crash while Lyon was confused what got his brother's knickers in a twist. Lucy suddenly had a bad feeling about this. They finished their breakfast in silence and she decided to leave. She wanted to talk to Gray but decided against it. There was nothing to explain but what's more is that she was surprised that he was Lyon's brother and the fact that she was fooling around with him finally made her feel like shit. If he was someone else then she wouldn't care less and not give a damn about it but at the back of her mind she admitted that she was slowly getting attached to the raven-haired guy but it's not like she can blame herself directly for choosing the wrong person. She didn't even know that he was "her friend's brother". Shaking her head, Lucy decided that whatever they have must come to an end whether she liked it or not. Time to drop the game.

* * *

><p>The sound of the phone ringing woke her up. Lucy checked the clock on her bedside table and groaned. She took her phone and saw an unknown number.<p>

"Hello?"

"Lucy? Is that you?"

Wait. Lucy thought his voice sounded familiar. A husky and warm. But she wasn't sure.

"Uh, yeah. Who's this?

"It's Loke. I'm back."

Gray was furious. No. He was fucking furious at his brother... at Lucy. He knew he was not in the position to get mad but what his eyes saw made him feel like he was being played at and that he was doused with a bucket filled with boiling jealousy. He was aware that he was over-reacting. It has been a long, long time since he got pissed like this and the alcohol from earlier didn't help. Not even one bit.

He arrived at Sun City, an underground spot used for skating, where his other friends were having a skate-off. How the place got its name was something that always made him wonder. He wanted to take his mind off from what happened but the image of Lucy wearing his brother's shirt and Lyon on his boxers would only mean one thing. _What a fucking slut_, he sneered in disgust with the idea that she had been sleeping not only with him but she was banging his brother as well.

As much as he wanted to get mad at her right in the face, it was impossible but he almost wished that Lucy had an excuse. True, he didn't actually see them in a compromising position but they were almost naked and she spent the night over. He remembered how they laughed that night, how fun they sounded. He envied his brother for making her laugh like that, for being close to her. Gray bit back his anguish and toppled down his deck on the ground before pushing off. The thrill excites him and the cold rush of the afternoon breeze made him feel like his red emotions were being blown off behind him by the wind.

The speed was nothing to him, it made him feel like he was in control. Free-riding, Gray pushed further and moved to a pre-drift before doing a full one on a curve. He was dizzy from the alcohol but he shook it off while building up a sweat. Air breaking, he watched his friends follow, doing a 180 degrees while the others did a freestyle. He pushed back uphill with a force and did a hard wheel slide downhill but his concentration disappeared as Lucy's laughter rang inside his head. A surge of anger boiled up towards his head in a heartbeat, seeing how close she was with Lyon. He knew he can't match up to what they have and that very idea enraged him even more.

Gray heard a series of shouts calling his name that sent him to panic but he was too late before making a shut down slide in emergency. He was thrown off his deck, his elbows grazed in friction against the concrete and felt the back of his head hit the ground as he rolled over. Lucy's bright and smiling face flashed in his mind before his thoughts came to a complete stop.

* * *

><p>Lyon felt someone tap his shoulder and grinned when he saw Loke. His golden mane was cut short but his flirty smile remained the same. He sat across Lyon and ordered a beer. At first Lyon was surprised when he called him earlier that day. The boy left the country a year ago but they were not able to see each other. They were tight back then, when both of them were still in Sabertooth along with Lucy but it was Lyon who left Crocus first.<p>

"Look who's back!" They fist bumped.

"The one and only."

"You're still the same, you jerk."

Their drinks arrived as Loke launched on and on about his experiences abroad, all the crazy parties, and about all the girls that he dated when he was away and Lyon only listened.

"I heard from Rogue that Lucy moved here. I called her earlier, actually. How is she? Have you seen her?" The blond asked, his eyes following a girl who walked past their table.

"Yeah. She moved in with her cousin so I see her every now and then. From what I heard she ran away from Crocus. I figured it was the whole deal with Sting."

Lyon did not miss the look in Loke's eyes at what he said.

"It was a mess, man. Lucy was out of control. Shit, every time I see her during those days I felt like my heart was being crushed into a tiny million pieces."

There were holes. Holes that only Lucy can fill. Lyon figured that she was still suffering otherwise she never would have thought of running away but she did. He suddenly remembered how she used to be the silent, meek, and shy but beautiful girl who was being pushed around while he can only watch in the distance until Sting pulled her out from the sea that she was drowning in. He regretted the fact that he had been a coward towards his feelings about her. Maybe, just maybe, if it was him instead of Sting, Lucy wouldn't have messed up her life. Maybe she would never have experienced all those bad times that she had to go through when he left, whatever they felt the sudden need to protect her and the want to save her. She was in a new place and he decided, then and there, that he would heal her and take this opportunity to love Lucy and make her his before anyone else can take her away from him...again.

Shaking off his thoughts, Lyon snapped back to the present. "Why did you leave the country anyway?"

His friend sighed deeply and drank his beer. "Because I got caught. I was on rehab."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_Loke woke up with a bad hangover. His head was pounding mad. Groaning, he shut his eyes close and rolled on his stomach trying to go back to sleep. Last night had been really bad. He spent the night drinking, draining a bottle of vodka as if it was a bottle of water. Turning his head, he noticed that he wasn't alone. Just like last night and the night before yesterday._

_Opening an eye, he looked at the figure beside him who was curled up in a fetal position with her naked back on him and her blond hair fanned all over the pillow. Loke noticed that her shoulder was shaking. He sighed and brought his hand to caress her back. _

_"Ssshhh. It's okay, Lucy." _

_The girl heard him but did not turn. Loke moved closer to her and secured his arm around her small waist, resting his forehead on the back of her neck. She had been crying again. Loke wondered if she had even slept since he was the one who fell asleep after they went a trip to la-la-land._

_He knew that she was in a fragile state and it wasn't like he was taking advantage over her. They both agreed and compromised, both of them knew that they need each other. He had been more than willing to let Lucy use him because he knew that she needed someone and it was the least that he could do. Loke was perfectly aware of their unhealthy relationship but when Lucy came to him, he had no other choice but to agree. He knew that he was being a total asshole, seeing that what he had been doing was something that a real friend shouldn't be doing but that wasn't his excuse just so he could get inside her pants._

_Other than Rogue, he was the only one who was perfectly aware of what happened and what's been happening having witnessed everything first-hand. He welcomed Lucy along with the mess inside her head with open arms even if he only saw her as a friend. He was the only one who can handle her and he was the perfect guy for the position. Neither of them can fall in love, hell, they can't afford to fall in love. Loke hushed her to sleep, chanting words of comfort beneath her ears. _

_"It wasn't your fault, Lucy. None of it was." _

_He felt her shoulder shake harder and her muffled sob broke out. She turned around and snuggled herself on his chest. _

_"If I didn't... Sting... He... It was my fault, Loke. It's all my fault." _

_"No, Lucy. It wasn't. Remember that. It was never your fault."_

* * *

><p>"Lyon? Lyon?"<p>

"What do you want, Ultear?"

"Where are you? I need you to come over here at the hospital."

"Eh? Why?"

"It's Gray. He had an accident."

**TBC**

* * *

><p>So, what do you guys think? Please don't forget to R&amp;R. The next chapter will be up soon!<p> 


	8. Dark Roman Wine

Crap. Sorry for the late update. I was at a party so... yeah.

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER SEVEN<strong>

**DARK ROMAN WINE**

Her head started to spin. Lucy never liked hospitals. She used to, but not after... She took a deep breath and continued to walk behind her cousin. It was Monday morning when they heard the news about Gray's accident. Natsu explained to them over the phone that Gray had a speeding accident while he was out skating and that he badly sprained his left ankle from the trip plus he had wounds on his elbows, a cut on the side of his forehead and that he was unconscious but it was nothing serious except the fact that he had to be admitted and checked for any internal bleeding or any damage that were mostly caused by skating accidents.

When she heard the news she wanted to rush immediately to see him but the thought of going to a hospital held her back and Cana might suspect something. Ditching her classes were of no problem to her but she didn't want to risk it and waited until her cousin finally announced that they should visit him after class.

Lucy had nothing against hospitals but the possibility that a memory or two might resurface made her want to just go back home to hide inside her closet and stay there until Gray can finally return in the real world. She also had a weird paranoia that the doctors and nurses would somehow pick up that she had been using illegal drugs. Lucy shook off her thoughts and nearly bumped into her cousin who stopped to knock on a door.

Gray was watching the television when they arrived and Lyon was sitting on the couch, fiddling on his phone. A pretty nurse with a long dark hair was sitting beside him, reading a book.

"Hey guys!" Her cousin beamed as she opened the door, "Ultear! It's been so long!"

Lucy followed and watched her cousin hug the nurse. Gray tensed when he saw Lucy, not missing how his brother perked up when they came in.

"Hi." Lucy said awkwardly.

"Lucy, this is Ultear, my sister." Lyon introduced both girls who exchanged handshakes and directed her to sit at the couch. Cana and Ultear talked for a while until the nurse left, announcing that her break was over.

"And here I thought that Natsu's the reckless one." Cana teased Gray who only rolled his eyes at her. After a while, Natsu arrived with Laxus and Erza who bombarded him with questions and teased him, saying that he was an idiot for getting into an accident. They ranted on and on and Gray was getting annoyed but he was even more pissed to see that Lyon and Lucy were trapped in a world of their own, "flirting" with each other.

_Why did she even bother come? _ He wanted her to leave but at the same time he was glad that she came to visit. Gray almost wished that they were alone.

"Dude, you never get into an accident every time you skate. What happened?" Laxus inquired and sat beside Lucy who clung to his massive arm.

"Yeah, man. I mean, I saw you skate and I admit you're quite good but I'm better at you. Of course." Natsu said, sounding like he was stating a fact which made Gray scoff.

"Well, there's always a first time for everything. And please, you barely even skate, flame-brain."

"Loser!"

"Dumb fuck!"

"Just admit it, Gray. You suck!"

"Okay," Erza stepped in, "that's enough you too! But I'm glad to know that it was nothing serious. Be careful next time. You might hit your head, bleed and die or something."

Gray only nodded while Natsu pouted like a kid. Lucy kept stealing glances at the patient who didn't even look at her nor acknowledged that she was even there. Laxus asked him what really happened.

"Nothing. I just got pissed at someone. I've had a bit of a drink that time so it was probably the reason why I got this." He said, pointing at his injured leg.

Cana "tch-ed" while shaking her head. "Can't handle your liquor, eh?"

"Shut up, Cana. He's not a thirsty beast like you." Erza defended him before a word war three would commence again.

Unbeknownst to them, Lyon noticed something from the sidelines. He silently observed how Lucy and Gray kept stealing glances at each other when nobody was looking. He knew his brother was never reckless. Gray was always careful, always cautious over little things even if he had some anger issues but Lyon had a nagging feeling that it had something to do with what happened on the morning before his accident but it was impossible that it had something to do with Lucy. They weren't even close. He never even saw them, not even once, engage in a proper conversation. Just when he thought that things were about to go smoothly, he felt another storm coming in.

* * *

><p>Loke stood up from his seat when he was her approach. She smiled and enveloped him into a long and tight hug, the one that he missed. He took out a chair for her and settled back on his seat as a waiter approached them with the menu.<p>

"Still a gentleman, huh?"

"Anything for my princess." He winked at her. They ordered food along with a bottle of wine. Loke looked at the girl in front of him and noticed the changes in her physical appearance. Sure, Lucy still looked beautiful but her radiance was ember-like now. He frowned but didn't dare comment about it.

"How was your trip?" She asked, slightly nervous. They had a past, all right, but it was more because it has been a year since she last saw him.

"It was good, actually and the rehab wasn't that bad."

They talked for a while, mostly catching up about little things until their food arrived. Loke poured her a glass of wine after he filled his own. He was a downright playboy but he was brought up in a wealthy, formal environment and it was where he picked up his talent for... well, picking up girls.

"I met Lyon the night after I called you," he said, cutting a steak with a knife, "I'm glad you both, uh... What's the word? 'Reconnected.'"

"Me too. We usually see each other at the university. So, tell me, are you going to live here or you're going back to Crocus?"

"Nah, I'll probably leave Magnolia soon. But don't worry, I'm not going anywhere soon yet. Probably after a month or so. I'm staying at my sister's place for now."

"How's Virgo?"

"She's fine. Busy with the business."

"How are you faring here?" Loke asked, looking at her. Lucy sipped her wine empty then he filled it again.

"Just fine. School's fine." She replied curtly and went back to her food.

"Great. Oh, I heard from Lyon that there's a two-day break for you guys a week after this. A holiday or something."

"Yeah. We're going to have a long weekend by next week. What do you have in mind?"

Loke grinned. She knew that look. He was up to something. "What else?"

Lucy only nodded her head in anticipation. He meant parties, being the party animal that he was. Night after night of fun and shit. She knew he just got out of rehab but it was probably just for show to get his folks out of his back.

"And oh, I invited Rogue and Yukino over."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_"How's Lucy?" _

_Loke sighed and sat on the couch to face him. Sting was lying on his stomach on the bed, his eyes bloodshot. "She's fine. Yukino's staying with her tonight. She's strong, Sting." _

_"I know that, L. But I fucked up. I fucked us up. I didn't know what I was doing. I... shit." _

_"Pull yourself together, man. You didn't know it was going to happen." _

_"True but I could have stopped it! I could have pushed the clingy bitch away but I didn't and it was all because... fuck! I don't even want to talk about it anymore." Sting punched the pillow stood up, took the bottle of gin from the bedside table and started drinking it. _

_Loke wanted to punch the guy in front of him. If Sting knew he fucked up, then isn't it a common sense to fix his bullshit? Yet there he was, almost in his naked glory, wallowing himself in guilt and rage without doing anything about it. Loke was with Lucy when she saw what happened and Sting was too drunk to notice that he was doing something he shouldn't have done. He wondered why Lucy broke down so bad until the girl explained why she snapped. She trusted Sting. Hell, he was probably the only person that she trusted and just like that- it was gone like burning bridges. _

_Loke's eyes flickered when he saw a large duffel bag by his closet. "You're bailing out on me?!"_

_"I have to." _

_"You know what, I am so done with your shit! Don't you fucking show your sorry face to Lucy or I'll punch the fuck out of you! You don't deserve her, you bastard!" Loke was seething with anger while Sting sat there, looking bored. _

_"You're right. I don't." Sting said with a laugh. Loke can only look at him with disgust. _

_"Asshole. Don't come crying to me when she won't take you back." Loke left him. The sound of Sting's laughter reached him until he slammed the door shut._

* * *

><p>The days passed by idly at an almost lazy manner. School kept Lucy busy but she decided that it was better. She liked what she was doing- reading and writing. She swallowed Nietzsche, she gulped down Albert Camus, and drowned herself in classic literature. Along the lines she felt like she was living in the age were Greek tragedy was a fab. Levy approached her again and this time, Lucy decided to talk to her to apologize for what she did. They made up over a cup of coffee at a nearby cafe, a few blocks away from the university. On some nights Levy would visit her and they would work on their term papers and take-home essays but... Gray was still missing.<p>

He was out of the hospital by Tuesday morning since his diagnosis showed no signs of anything serious, no trauma or any of the sort but she wasn't able to see him after their visit at the hospital. Gray didn't answer her calls nor replied to any of her messages. She only wanted to talk to him, make sure he was fine and drop the "end" bomb. If ignoring her meant anything, Lucy decided to take it as a sign to finally stop. But something felt wrong.

Lucy had mastered the art of cutting people off. She was good at that and prided herself in it. Yukino had been one of her "victims" and the girl was left baffled, wondering what the hell happened. Lucy remembered it. One day they were fine, having fun and all but when the next day arrived, Lucy stopped talking to her and acted as if she didn't know her. Then next was Rogue. The couple tried to talk to her about it but she smoothly put them off as if they were never friends. It was then that she started hanging out with Loke, living the fast life with him.

She met a couple others and did the same thing to them- she cut them off as if she was a clean and sharp blade. They even called her crazy or fucked-up in the head. Sure, she was, but crazy? No. Somehow Gray's case was different and she hated it. Friday night and Lucy felt like going down again so she made a little trip to Bacchus. Once you pop, you just can't stop.

When she arrived home, Cana was nowhere to be found. Lucy found a note on the counter telling her that she went out for a drink. Of course. What else would her cousin do? But there's more.

_P.S. - if you want you can come over. We're at Natsu's. That is, if you promise not to be a bitch. _

Lucy rolled her eyes and opened the sliding glass door connecting the living room to the terrace. She turned off the lights, played some music and sat in the terrace looking at the city view. It was only 0830 in the evening and she waited for the rush to die out before she left the tattoo shop. Smoking a cigarette, she took out her ice box and looked at her speed-full of chest. Then came the binge. Lucy hastily snorted some speed but spilled some on the floor. She cursed and took out a flashlight, went on all fours and searched for anything shiny before snorting it like a hungry dog, coughing out the salt aftertaste. She knew she looked stupid, almost too silly. The search was over and she was sweating. She needed a drink.

Dancing her way to her bedroom, she got dressed, put on a light make-up and hailed a cab.

* * *

><p>Mira and Lisanna were busy grilling meat at the backyard while Erza was busy eating a strawberry cake beside Cana who was drinking a bottle of wine, all for herself. The boys were busy inside the living room, playing a racing game with Natsus' Xbox. Instead of going out that night, Natsu offered his place since Igneel was out on a business trip and won't be home until Monday morning.<p>

Across Erza, Jellal and Laxus were talking about something, probably some stuff about college. Pizza arrived and the Strauss sisters were done so they crowded in the large table at the backyard and ate before they started drinking. The doorbell rang and Natsu left to see who arrived. He came back after a minute.

Gray's heart skipped a bit when he Lucy behind Natsu. The blond greeted everyone and Mira handed her a drink. Levy squealed when she saw Lucy and pulled the blonde over to where she was. Everyone was surprised at how they interacted but made no comment about it and Cana was happy that her cousin finally came into terms with Levy. Gajeel, on the other hand, kept his calm and just observed them with a small smile playing on his lips.

Noticing the sudden change in Lucy, Gray felt guilty that he had been ignoring her. He was still angry but the short days of not seeing her abated his emotions and eased him. He can't help but look at her, her expressions, her smiles and the little ways how her eyes would light up every now and then. Ending her conversation with Levy, Lucy made her way to Laxus and hugged him from behind.

"Glad you could made it, Lucy." He said in his usual gruff tone as the girl behind him giggled with a nod. "I had nowhere to go. Don't want to get stuck home either and Cana invited me over." She said and looked at Cana who grinned at her before challenging Erza to a drinking match but the red-haired girl declined when Jellal cleared his throat.

"This is so frustrating. I can't find someone who can match me or even beat me," the brunette huffed, "you are all pussies!"

Everyone just laughed at her but Lucy suddenly had an idea. "I might know one who can beat up your ass."

Cana raised an eyebrow. "And who would that be? Please do tell. I'd be willing to bet my bra if he wins."

The group only groaned. "Oh please." Mira whined.

"Let's just say that his name fits him as the god of wine and pleasure." Lucy stated, wiggling her eyebrows at her cousin.

"Ooh. I love the sound of that." Cana laughed.

"Sure you want to meet him? He's my... uhh.. he's my friend."

"Some other time. Lucy, don't encourage her." Laxus said and both girls pouted. Lucy unwrapped her arms from Laxus and excused herself to go to the bathroom. Lisanna showed her the way and left. Feeling a binge coming up, Lucy rubbed the speed on her gums and fixed herself before coming out. She froze when she saw Gray on the hallway, leaning his side on the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Lucy almost lost herself at the sight of him. He was wearing a navy blue shirt that clung to his body, his silver cross necklace snaked naturally around his neck. He did looked like a dark angel that Bob pegged him to be. Lucy gulped at the sight, trying hard not to drool.

"I missed you, stranger." Came his husky voice. He walked towards her and trapped her with her back against the wall. Weak on her knees, Gray closed the space between them and kissed her. She felt his hot mint-like breath on her. They broke the kiss in surprise when a loud chorus of laughter rang from the outside.

"Why were you ignoring me?" She asked him.

"I don't know," he said, a sad smile dangling on his lips. Lucy cupped his face and frowned. Gray sighed. "Tell me, did you... I mean, did you have sex with my brother? I saw you in his room, Lucy."

Her eyes widened and she felt the pieces come together. Lucy shook her head. "No. I fell asleep on the bed and he passed out on the floor before me."

"Then why were you both almost naked?" Gray calm, looking at her in the eyes.

"Silly, you. I don't know about him but I got uncomfortable so I looked for a shirt in his closet and wore it. It wasn't like I was not wearing anything underneath."

Now he felt stupid. "What?"

"I was wearing a pair of shorts, you idiot. You probably didn't see it." Lucy giggled at his expression.

"Fuck."

"Jealous?"

"Maybe. A little." He smiled and kissed her again. "Let's go back before they suspect something."

Lyon didn't miss a thing. He saw that Gray followed her after Lisanna came back. He wanted to get to the bottom of it. He knew that there was something going on between them. Gray arrived and Lucy followed after. Lyon saw their flushed faces but he distracted himself. He sure was right with his suspicions and he had to act soon. As soon as he can.

**TBC**

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><p>There you go. I hope it's all right. I was kinda buzzed when I edited this chapter and if there's a mistake or two, I apologize. I'll be working on the next chapter first thing in the morning. I don't want to rush the whole story but I'm kinda excited to get to the part where... ooops. I'll keep my lips sealed for now.<p>

Don't forget to R&R. You know the drill guys. Until then. :)


	9. Open Your Eyes

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER EIGHT<strong>

**OPEN YOUR EYES**

Lucy was sitting in the garden chair, smoking a cigarette. She looked at the mess in front of her, taking every detail since there was nothing left for her to do. She stopped drinking an hour ago. Natsu was snoring on the floor inside the living room next to his girlfriend, Laxus occupied the whole couch and Cana fell asleep, saying that she was too tired, upstairs with Levy. Where the others were, she couldn't less and Erza and Jellal probably ended up in another room. It was one hell of a house party, fun, but not the same ones like the parties at Crocus- especially Loke's.

Sleep was impossible for her. She can't even close her eyes without feeling funny in the head or all over her body. Lucy zipped up her jacket, feeling the cold, when Gray appeared. They were the only ones left and he was still drinking a bottle of beer. He smiled and sat across her.

"Can't sleep?"

Lucy only shook her head and offered him a cigarette. "Mmm. You?"

"Same here."

Gray wanted to ask her things. He wanted to ask about her, he wanted her to tell him everything. He tried before but she always managed to dodge his questions without answering him directly. And right now he wanted to ask her again. They were practically "safe" anyways since everyone passed out so there was no harm in talking.

"Hey, Lucy."

"Hmm"?

"Why the secrecy?" He hesitated for a while, "I mean what's wrong with them knowing about us? I know we're not together but you know. They're my friends and you're pretty much a part of the group now."

"Yeah, Gray. And tell them what? That we've been fooling around? I don't think so."

"Is this what it is to you? Fucking around? God, Lucy. I didn't you were that..."

She glared at him. "That I'm what, Gray? I may have been fucking around with you but I can assure you that I'm no slut!" She snapped, wondering why they were even fighting.

He was surprised at this, at her. One day she's all daisies and shit then the next she's bringing a hurricane with her. He sighed. "No. I didn't mean it that way. I was just wondering why."

"We can't. I can't. I mean, I barely even know you that much."

"I know but why are you always talking in riddles? You can't what? Why? Look, can we just drop the whole 'stranger' thing and forget about it?"

And then what? Lucy was almost too afraid to ask but much to her dismay she blurted it out loud. Gray was not Loke. They were both different.

"Start again? Do I have to spell it out, Lucy?" He said shyly, scratching the back of his head.

"You're so cliche," She sneered but then laughed, seeing the subtle blush on his cheeks, "but I don't think so. I mean, we already know each other."

"Yeah. In bed." He smirked when she rolled her eyes at his remark.

"So, tell me. What am I dealing with?"

"Trouble, Gray. Loads of it."

"Bring it on, Lucy," he grinned, "and one more thing."

"What?"

"You're not allowed to have a sleepover at my brother's room."

Lucy laughed and shook her head. "So I take it that you were jealous. Lyon's like a brother to me just like how Laxus is. Wait, why? It's not like your my boyfriend or something."

"Don't push it."

"What about your room, then?"

"I guess that's fine."

"Asshole."

* * *

><p>"So you and Gray, huh?" Cana teased her over dinner.<p>

"We're not together."

It was true. She made it clear to him. Sure, they both liked each other it was more like they didn't want to acknowledge how mutual their feelings were and Lucy was just playing so hard to get without even realizing it herself. She knew that Gray was a good catch and she can't deny the fact that he made her happy. Every day he would wait for her morning class to end and take her out for lunch and the gang knew that they were becoming an item. The fact that Laxus didn't even say anything about it was proof enough that he approved the boy for his "little sister".

"Then what?" The brunette pushed. Lucy sighed in an early defeat. Hell, even Mira was teasing them all the time.

"Nothing. Look, whatever. We're just dating, going out, call it what you like but he's not my boyfriend."

Cana scoffed. "Dating? Going out? It's the same thing, Lucy. So, tell me. How's Gray in bed? Sensual? Aggressive?" Then she gasped, "Oh my golly banana! Don't tell me that you're both in a literal 'fucking' relationship?"

"Cana!"

She laughed at her cousin, stabbing a soft piece of steamed dory with her fork. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Speak of the devil."

The younger girl rolled her eyes and went to open the door. Gray would sometimes come over unannounced after dinner and they would watch movies and sometimes just hang around. Last night she fell asleep on his lap while he was drafting a blueprint. But wait- isn't that what boyfriends-girlfriends do? To say that she didn't like it one bit was a total lie but she can't just afford to go along. With a laugh, Lucy opened the door.

"Lyon? What brings you here?"

He smiled. "Can't I visit my favorite girl?"

Lucy tried not to look disappointed. "Sure. Come in. We're almost done with dinner."

"Were you expecting someone else?" He asked, noticing the look on her face and followed after her.

"No. No. Of course not."

Cana greeted him and cleaned up after Lucy announced that she was done. "We'll be in my room."

"Be good. You two." Cana said in a singsong voice.

Lyon made himself comfortable and sat on her bed while she excused herself for a moment to brush her teeth. Done, she went back inside her room and noticed that he was nervous. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just came over to see you give you this." He took out a ticket from his pocket and handed it to her. Lucy looked at it for a while.

"It's for an event this Friday. Loke gave it to me."

"Aww, you could have given it to me at school." She placed the ticket on her desk and sat on the chair. Lyon moved to the couch.

"No biggie. I wanted to see you."

Lucy laughed.

"Hey, Lucy. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." She said and opened the window beside her so she can smoke.

"Are you and Gray... uhm," he cleared his throat, "you know."

What's with today? First Cana then him. "No. I don't know. I'm not his girlfriend if that's what you're asking me."

Lyon smiled and looked at her. "So, I think I still have a chance then?"

Oh shit.

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><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_He felt like shit. When Lyon saw Sting kiss Lucy he felt like his world crashed. He didn't know anything and Lucy never told him that she's dating Sting. Heck, he didn't even knew that she liked someone. He felt as if he was betrayed but he knew that it was his own loss for being a coward. _

_"They look good together, huh?" Rogue said beside him. Lyon almost forgot that he was not alone. _

_"Uh. Y-yeah. I guess." _

_Lyon felt left out not that it bothered him but the fact that hovered right in front of him that Lucy can no longer be his made him want to scream out loud. He stopped himself from wanting to pull her out of Sting's embrace. But Lucy looked so happy. How can something change so much drastically? Her usual shy smile was now replaced by what looked to him as the most beautiful thing ever and it ticked him that he wasn't one responsible for making her smile like that. He had never seen her smile like that, never heard her laugh as if she was singing. He walked out. _

_"Oi. Where are you going?" Rogue called after him. _

_"Home." _

_No. Lyon didn't go home that night. School came the next day and the new couple was the talk of the town. Girls were filled with envy, gossiping and whispering in hushed tones how Lucy don't deserve Sting. She was, after all, just a bullied loner in their eyes and that she probably used her situation to seduce him. Lyon felt like giving them a piece of his mind for talking about Lucy like that. It was too late now. He can't be with Lucy, he can't protect her. Sting can._

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><p>Lyon was already at the bar when Loke arrived. They agreed to meet that night since Lyon said that he wanted to talk to him about Lucy. Loke knew that his friend had harbored strong feelings for the girl even after she started dating Sting. It was pretty obvious from the start but Lucy can be dense sometimes and she only saw Lyon as a friend, like a brother even.<p>

"I told her man. I asked her out." Finally. Loke grinned slyly at him, eager for details.

"What did she say?"

"She said she'll think about it. But I doubt it." Lyon sighed and ordered a drink. Loke waited for him to continue.

"She's been seeing my brother, man. I knew it. At first I had my doubts but they pretty much came out in the open now. Yet she told me she's not his girlfriend but who is she kidding?!" Lyon hissed.

"Wait, you have a brother?"

Lyon laughed dryly at him before nodding his head. Loke sighed. He knew how Lucy can be, especially after she gained her reputation at Sabertooth when she started sleeping around with him but he debated whether to come clean or not.

"I suggest you back off, dude."

"And here I was hoping you'll lift my spirits up."

"Shut up. We're not high school girls, dude. I think you should know but..." Loke said, "Lucy and I, we used to fool around."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Lyon was surprised. He felt angry again but the other boy calmed him down and told him to let him finish.

"Like I said before, Lucy was a mess after Sting died. I can't tell you how, so don't bother asking me. It's not my story to tell. She came to me and she needed someone and I was the only asshole around who was there for her. Lucy pretty much made the first move. We were both drunk then she kissed me. You know how it is. One thing led to another. I don't have to paint the whole fucking picture. Literally. But it wasn't just a one-time thing. Bottom line is that she used me, I used her: no feelings involved. It was more of a companionship of sorts until we started experimenting with other... stuff. That is, until I got busted. I had no choice but to leave Crocus. My dad told me i was a disgrace in the family and threatened me so I left to save Lucy. I didn't want to put her into trouble. She was already drowning in her own ocean of shit and didn't want to add my own shit into hers."

Lyon was at loss for words. He felt like he lost his tongue and what other stuff? Sure, they used to experiment before but they never dared to touch hard drugs. Weed was...fine. Loke continued. "I don't know anything, I don't know anything about your brother. I haven't even seen him but let's just hope that they don't have the kind of relationship that Lucy and I had. That girl needs to wake up. Don't get me wrong. I love her, as a friend of course, but I'm still worried about her. After I got caught we decided to stop. I had still had a month left before I had to go away for my rehab but Lucy pretty much stopped going out. I heard she stopped talking to Rogue and Yukino as well."

Lyon wondered if Gray had any idea about this. It was all up to him now. He can play the villain but he didn't want that. And then there's Lucy. She's not a bad person. He knew that. She just got...lost. Lonely even. He wondered if he can still save her.

* * *

><p>The group was having lunch at a family restaurant, occupying a large table to fit them in, plus the amount of food that they ordered. The male population can consume a buffet-sized table if they wanted to, especially Natsu. Erza on the other hand was already on her second cake and Cana, well, she can't live without liquor. Across Lucy was Mira who kept on throwing in knowing looks at the blond girl and the boy beside her. Lucy only sweat dropped. Gray was right when he said that she was already one of them. It didn't take a long time for her to get used to how noisy the group was. It was totally different from when she was still in Sabertooth. Rogue hated the noise and Loke, well, he's Loke. Flirting around and all then there's Sting...Lucy shook her head.<p>

After the messy and noise-filled lunch, the group left the place and walked as a pack back to the university. Side by side, Lucy and Gray lagged behind the group and were both engaged in their own conversation when Lisanna suddenly squealed. Out from nowhere, a flash of blue hair sped towards them, breaking the group in two. Gray was thrown back and fell on the ground. He opened his eyes, complaining about the pain, when he noticed that someone was clinging to him, her weight pressing his body to the ground.

"J-Juvia?!"

**TBC**

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><p>So what do you guys think?<br>Thank you for much for reviewing, reading, etc. Please don't forget to R&R! See you guys! :)


	10. Lover I Don't Have To Love

So this is more or less a bonus chapter but an important one. This chapter tells the first encounter between Lucy and Gray and this was loosely based from Bright Eyes' **Lover I Don't Have To Love.** The song, one of my fave, was basically the reason why I wrote Paradise Circus, which is also a title of a song, in the first place. I usually get my inspiration from songs like these two. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you guys would enjoy reading this too.

BTW, I'm thinking whether or not to write Gray's POV about how he first met her since this chapter is kind of one-sided. What do you guys think? Should I?

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER NINE<strong>

**LOVER I DON'T HAVE TO LOVE**

**FLASHBACK- LUCY POV**

_The perfect night in a perfectly new city. The thrill of discovering the undiscovered. Faces that I haven't seen before. Voices that I have never heard before. People talking. People laughing. Strangers of the night world. The smell of the air is different. Everything is just... overwhelmingly new to my senses. So this is Magnolia._

_Alone yet not lonely. I mentally laughed at my own demise and tonight yet again, here I am, drinking alone but not because I am lonely. Not tonight. From where I am I see the faces of the people who have somewhere to go, something to do, somebody to talk to and spend the whole night with but not me. I have all the time in the world. The bed in my hotel room can wait. _

_For how long I had been here, sitting in this bar and drinking, I lost count. I don't care. I ordered another drink- Bombay Sapphire, on the rocks. There was no reason for me to rush. I don't want to get drunk too soon, not tonight since I was already buzzed from the speed. I look at the crowd in front of me and saw someone that caught my attention. From where he is and from where I am, the distance appear as it is intentional, almost planned. The perfect view and the perfect angle to look at each other- to get caught and to not get caught. _

_Our eyes would meet, every now and then, until either of us would break away the connection as if we are playing a game of who looks first and who get caughts first. From the space between us I observe his smiles, how he laugh along with his friends. It was a sputnik-like phenomena. I finally turn my head away with a sigh and did not realize that he stood up and made his way towards me. He sits on the empty stool beside me and ordered two drinks. Then he faced me. _

_"I like you hair." He said. _

_"Thanks. Can I follow you?" I said. _

_He led me upstairs and I can tell that he knows his way around. Out of view and our from prying eyes. He gave me a drink. _

_"What's your name?" He asked me._

_"What time is it?" I asked him. _

_I look at my watch and it says 2 o'clock. The bar closed down and now we're up the block walking along with his hand in mine, intertwined. I had no idea where we were but it didn't matter. He pulled me in a kiss, his tongue in my mouth as if he was trying to keep the words from coming out, as if he didn't care who else may have been here before. He tasted like gin, cool and cold, ice-like. I ran my fingers through his dark and soft locks. He hummed. _

_"It feels good." He said. _

_We reached a familiar alley and I stopped walking. Then I remember and suddenly felt the need rush up inside me. I looked around and waited, trying to calm down the binge coming up._

_"I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full." I said._

_"I got the money." He said. _

_"I got the time. It will feel good." I said._

_"I'll give it a try." He said. _

_I wasn't sure if he caught my meaning but it must have slipped out of his mind. I told him to stay and wait for me before I walked towards the darkened alley to do what I have to do, to take in what my body has been needing, wanting. Then my mind when dark.__We took the train. He said he'll meet up with his friends in the morning. We reached my hotel room._

_"I want a girl who's too drunk she doesn't talk." He said._

_Perfect. I was just a girl who's too sad to give a fuck._

_"I want a lover I don't have to love." I said._

_"Let's just keep touching. Just keep touching." _

_A momentary bliss and escape. His phone kept on ringing while we kept on kissing and I was just a runaway girl with bad habits, a sad girl who plays tragic but he... he would say such pretty words in between our heated moment. Do I really want this? Yes. I want this. Love is just an excuse to get hurt... and to hurt. Yes. I need this and I need him. He can make me forget Sting's touch, how he used to touch stranger in front of me can make me forget how it feels like when Sting would kiss me, how his kisses tasted like and maybe... just maybe, he'll make me forget everything. Sting was like the sun, all in his bright and golden glory and he, this guy in front of me, he's like the moon- his dark eyes are cold and beautiful, haunting. His ghost-like skin glows, illuminated against the dim lights of my hotel room. His face. Whose? His smiles. Whose? His sleeping face. His face...I don't even know anymore._

_"What's your name again?" He asked._

_"You smell good." I answered._

_I'm just like an empty shell and he was the opposite. Just by touching him, I can feel that he is alive, that he is living. I felt envy wrap its arms around me but by now I have learned how to love pain. Emotional. Physical. Pain is good. It makes me feel yet it numbs me. Pain can trample happiness, it can trample loneliness, it can trample sadness. Pain is pain. Pain can trample over love. I learned it the hard way._

_"Do you like to hurt?" I asked him._

_"I do. I do." He said. _

_"Then hurt me."_

**TBC**

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><p>Thank you so much for those who reviewed, liked, and all. Please tell me what you guys think so I can make this story better. R&amp;R please! Until then!<p> 


	11. Insensible

**DISCLAIMER: HIRO MASHIMA OWNS FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TEN<strong>

**INSENSIBLE**

Saved. Lucy was saved and reminded herself to thank Loke. Yes. She will buy him a drink, not that he doesn't have the money. A drink as a form of gratitude for saving her. She saw what happened. She was beside Gray, after all, and she definitely wasn't blind but before she got worked up in the head, her phone rang and snipped away the things that were slowly creeping down her chest. She excused herself and told the group that she needed to answer the call and leave right away. Yes. Before introduces can be exchanged. So Lucy left without looking back.

Lucy headed back to the campus but she used a different way and entered a different gate. She decided to loiter inside the comfort room for a while and went to her class five minutes after the bell rang because Levy was there and because Levy will ask her questions.

And speaking of questions, she had a lot inside her head and she was afraid that she would just vomit them all out all of a sudden. Lucy knew that she cannot avoid them forever. Sooner or later it was bound to happen. And it did.

That night they went to the club- not exactly her thing but Cana insisted that she tag along. Why? Because she was one of them now. So she had no choice but to dress up and did her face, skillfully, that it made her eyes pop in a smoky trance. The dress she wore accentuated her curves and the pumps that she wore made her all more alluring but not in a whorish manner. She had the mind and the decency not to make herself look like one... and of course, she told Loke to drop by at a later time.

But Lucy forgot about Lyon. She tensed when she saw that he was already there, chatting with Erza and Jellal. Whoever set the whole party was not stupid enough to get themselves a VIP table so they can just sit and drink and just walk over to the dance floor when they feel like it. Lucy plopped herself beside Laxus and chattered away. Until Gray arrived... with her- both of them lovey-dovey. Erza tapped Lucy's shoulder to get her attention.

"Lucy, this is Juvia Lockster. Juvia, this is Lucy Heartfilia, Cana's cousin." Erza made the introduction and both girls faked smiles at each other. Lucy tried her hardest not to roll her eyes. But then the girl clung to Gray's arm who sighed and tried to pry it away.

Apparently, Lucy learned that she was a part of the group but had to leave Magnolia for a while to train and join a swimming competition abroad but now she's back to continue her studies at Fairy Tail. Great. Just fucking great and Lucy knew that she was jealous. She knew that feeling and she was not dumb not to recognize it. So much for being emotionless, huh? She calmed herself so as not to jump into conclusions yet. But why? Does the two have a history or something? Because she was sure that nobody ever mentioned that Gray's taken.

"Juvia is so glad to be home. Juvia missed everyone so much. Especially my Gray-sama." The girl purred. Sure, she was beautiful but her voice irritated her and Lucy couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" She lashed, hoping nobody heard her but well, they did. If that Juvia person heard, then whatever, but apparently she made no comment about it since she was probably used to it anyway. Her tongue was itching from wanting to mimic and mock the girl across her. She turned to Laxus and told him to accompany her to the bar. He went with her since he said that he had to settle and open a tab for their drinks to keep it coming without having to go back and forth. She decided to stay for a while.

"You gonna be okay here, Lucy?" The older man asked.

"Yes. Lucy will be fine here on her own. Lucy will be back in a while." She giggled.

"Be good, Lucy." Laxus chuckled.

"Who was she anyway?"

Laxus sighed and explained. "She was Gray's ex-girlfriend but they broke up a long time ago." He ruffled her hair, kissed her forehead and left.

"What to drink?" She mumbled, eyeing the display of liquor in front of her. The bartender noticed her indecisiveness.

"How about a Martini, miss?"

"Too classy."

"Cutty Sark?"

"Now you're talking. Make it hard and make it two. Thanks! And oh, put it in Dreyar's tab."

The bartender left with a smile to prepare her drinks. While waiting, Lucy looked at the people moving and grinding along with the mix. She suddenly felt like dancing.

"Here you go."

"Thanks." She said with a smile and raised a glass to him before chugging it down in one shot and left with the other drink. She went back to their table and Cana snatched her drink.

"Hey! Get your own!"

The brunette turned a deaf ear and chugged the drink down. "Hey, I like this."

"Whatever, you thief."

Lucy sat beside her, trying hard not to look at Gray who was still sitting beside Juvia. Lucy turned to her cousin. "Hey, you want to meet the guy I told you about?"

Her cousin looked at her, trying to recall... then her eyes widened. "Oooh. Yeaaah." Lucy smirked and took out her phone. Too easy, too convenient. She needed some tonight. She texted Bacchus who replied right away, saying that he was just around the block and was on his way to the club as well. After a while, he texted her that he was already outside with his friends. Lucy jumped from her seat and left to meet him.

"Where's your car?"

"Lucy. Lucy. You can do it in the powder room. I'll wait for you outside. Here. I added a little something."

He subtly handed her the small package after making sure that no one was looking. They were used to this. Public dropping. It was dangerous, yeah, but not if you don't get caught. He followed her inside and she made her way to the women's room. She came back after a little while and found him waiting. He told her that his friends were looking for a spot. Lucy felt her body shiver and adrenaline pump through her system. She pulled him and almost dragged him towards their table.

"Whoa. Whoa. Easy with the rush." He said and found himself standing in a group of strangers. Lucy giggled, still holding his wrist and turned to her cousin who was chugging down a bottle of vodka.

"Cana, this is Bacchus. Dude, this is Cana, my cousin."

"Ooh. The good of wine, eh?" Cana purred.

Bachus grinned and licked his lips, he liked what he was looking at. "The very one."

Cana stood up and dragged him away.

"Have fun, you two. " Lucy practically screamed out after them and plopped herself back beside Laxus, her body fidgety.

"Pimping out your cousin, eh?" Gajeel commented and she giggled.

"God knows she needs to get laid. I'm just made it possible. I'm such a good cousin aren't I, Laxus?" She smirked and faced the man beside her, feeling giddy. Lucy reached for a drink on the table and drank it in thirst.

"What's with you tonight?"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing really. Just feeling all rainbows and unicorns."

Natsu laughed and choked on his drink. It wasn't funny but the look on Laxus' face contorted into a sour look made him crack.

* * *

><p>Gray was feeling awkward as hell. He did not see this coming. Erza knew that Juvia was coming but Juvia said not to tell anyone so she can surprise her 'Gray-sama'. He broke up with her a long time ago yet here she is, beside him, acting like a clingy girlfriend. He was ticked. He had long ago made it clear to her that he doesn't see her that way and only agreed to be her boyfriend because she came to him asking for a chance. He sighed in his seat, glancing at Lucy every now and then, wanting to talk to her but the girl isn't even giving him even one bit of attention. She didn't even look at him. He wondered what was going on inside her head. He can't help but look at her, he wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked tonight. Juvia noticed him looking at the blond and pulled him closer, pressing her chest on his arm. Gray groaned.<p>

Then there was that guy. Gray almost felt jealous when Lucy arrived with that Bacchus but calmed down when Cana disappeared with him. He tried to think of ways to approach Lucy but now he needed to drink and not listen to Juvia's ranting of this and that. He was aware of how possessive she can be.

Lyon was aware of what was happening. He felt kind of evil when he thought of this as an opportunity to snag Lucy away. He sat beside her but did not miss how she tensed when she noticed that it was him.

"You having fun, Lucy?"

"U-uh. Yeah. You?"

Lyon chuckled. "You don't have to be so nervous. It's just me, Lucy."

"I know. Sorry. It's just... you know." She bit her lip, trying to gauge how she was supposed to feel and the meth wasn't helping. She felt like laughing but then she felt like being brutally honest but he beat her to it.

"I know I'm not Gray."

There. She looked down almost too quickly, not meeting his eyes. He chuckled beside her. "So you do like him. Here's what, I'll back off if you say you like him, if you say that you like him enough to be your boyfriend. Officially."

She didn't say anything as both of them looked at Gray across them. Noticing their eyes, Gray looked up and his eyes met Lucy's then his brother's. Lucy looked away not knowing what else to do. Lucy was getting nervous from the rush and from the situation. She needed a breather and stood up, excusing herself. Lyon sat there, clenching his fist when Gray leaped up and followed after her. Mira saw the whole thing and sighed.

"Is Lucy okay?" The silver-haired beauty asked.

"Yeah. Gray's with her so she'll be fine." Lyon puffed and focused back on his drink. Juvia frowned and looked at Lyon, wondering why he looked angry and wondering why Gray left after Lucy.

"Is there something that you're not telling Juvia?" She asked them. No one dared to speak except Natsu.

"Oh. That? Lucy and Gray are dating, right? Right?" He sniggered and Lisanna smacked him before dragging him away to the dancefloor.

"Is it true? What Natsu-san said? Is Gray-sama really dating Lucy-san?"

"I think so, Juvia but you have to ask Gray." Mira said with a soft smile, looking at the girl. Juvia turned to Erza who also nodded in confirmation.

"But he doesn't owe you an explanation." Laxus silently remarked. Everyone kept quiet, surprised that he spoke out but it was the truth. He wasn't a person who would just butt in like that and the rest figured out that it was probably because Lucy was involved. The tension was bad but Cana's arrival smoothed it all out. She was sweating and was already tipsy... but not drunk and seemed to be in cloud 9.

"So how was it, Cana?" Levy piped in and Cana launched on, telling them that she finally found her match in drinking.

* * *

><p>Juvia was mad at what she just heard. She followed after Gray and held him back, they were near the bar. Gray told her to let go but she didn't budge. Her grip was strong.<p>

"Who is she to you, Gray?"

"It's none of your business. Let me go."

"No!" Juvia said and saw a flash of blond hair nearby, she was looking at them. An idea popped inside her head. Juvia pulled Gray and locked her lips against him, angling in a way that was visible enough for her rival to see. Juvia smirked when she saw that Lucy was looking at them then fled away. Juvia pushed Gray and walked left him stunned at what just happened.

He found Lucy at the back exit, leaning her back against the wall, smoking a cigarette with trembling hands. He cautiously approached her. "You look really beautiful." He didn't know what else to say.

She turned to him and forced a bitter smile. "Thanks. You look quite good too." She eyed his dark turtleneck shirt that hugged his body, shaping out his hard, toned pecs and his abs. He grinned and scratched the back of his head. He asked her for a cigarette

"You okay?"

"I'm walking on sunshine."

Gray sighed. "Look, if I did anything wrong, I'm sorry and if this about Juvia-"

Lucy interrupted him and shook her head. "You didn't do anything wrong and you don't owe me an explanation. Go back inside, Gray."

"Why are you pushing me away, Lucy?! I don't understand you at all. I'm trying but you keep on messing up my head."

"I'm not. Just leave me alone for a moment, all right? Go back to your ex-girlfriend." She said and cursed herself inwardly, biting her lip.

"So you know, huh? Look, it was a long time ago and it was over..." he stopped when she glared hard at him.

"Just stop. We have to stop this. I can't. I'm sorry "

Gray was flabbergasted. It is because of Juvia? He felt crushed. "No, Lucy please. Listen to me. I like you, okay, a lot. I like really like you so please don't go saying things like that." He peered closely into her eyes, making her look at him so she could know that he was serious.

"No," Lucy tried hard not to croak. "Go away. Just please go away."

He nodded and hesitantly left. Lucy breathed out the cluster of thick air that was trapped inside her chest. Why does it hurt? It was nothing but it hurt. She was used with pushing people away but pushing him hurt. _Ex-girlfriend, huh. Doesn't look that way to me_, she thought. They're all the same. She should have known, of course. She cursed herself over and over again as images of Gray and Juvia flashed before her eyes. They were fucking kissing! _But he's not my boyfriend. I don't love him. I don't have the right to act or even feel jealous. _It was pathetic and she was a liar.

She felt like laughing in panic when her chest started beating madly and there was only one way to numb the pain. She quickly made her way to the women's room and finished- yes. She finished the whole package of speed left. Not too much, just the right amount to keep her going. Then she found the "little something". Two pretty little pills. Lucy grinned and popped it inside her mouth.

She didn't want to go back yet and face Gray and then there's Lyon. What was he playing at? What was he trying to pull, making her do something like that? She sighed and went to the bar instead, ordering another Cutty Sark. She almost wished she didn't attend this bullshit party.

Lucy binged her need on alcohol. She didn't want to bother Bacchus anymore with her sorry as needs. And where the hell was Loke? As if on cue, someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Can I buy you a drink, miss?" He smirked, eyeing her with his alluring orbs for eyes.

Lucy grinned and squeaked, enveloping him to a hug. He stood beside her and leaned his back on the bar counter, scanning the dancefloor. "Found any hot chick?"

"Yeah. But you know me. Anyways, I have my eyes on that chick over there... and there... and over there."

"You just never change, do you?"

"I wouldn't be me if I change. See ya." He left her, making his way to a chick somewhere across the dancefloor. Lucy only chuckled playfully and savored last of the pill. This is going to be a long night. LSD. MDMA. Ice. Nothing beats a good trip that can halt her tumultuous thoughts. It didn't take long before the pill kicked in and she was tripping, dancing on the floor, snaking her way in the ocean of bodies moving together. She didn't care if she was dancing on her own and the music was the only thing that mattered to her. She suddenly felt someone pull her.

Lucy thought they looked familiar. Of course, it eas Levy, Lisanna, Natsu, Juvia and Gray who was pulled along by the girl. Lucy started laughing after realizing who they were and danced together with Levy, locking her arms around the petite girl's neck. Levy giggled with a blush and started moving along with her.

Everything looked so happy in her eyes and what happened between her and Gray seemed so far away and she started to wonder if it did happen. Her vision was creating a wonderful illusion around her that all she can do is laugh. She felt so happy that she could die. Lisanna pulled her away from Levy when Gajeel arrived. "Lucy, are you okay?"

Unable to comprehend what the girl said, she only laughed. After what seemed like a long time of dancing, the group went back to the table, dragging Lucy who was, in their eyes, already drunk. The night was on full swing and somehow, before they arrived, Loke was already there with Lyon who introduced him to the group. He started flirting with Mira.

But she was too tripped to even understand what was going on, not knowing that her eyes were already playing tricks on her. Loke's orange hair seemed almost yellow and familiar. "Sting?!" Her eyes were wide and her chest started beating hard, real hard that she felt her body heat up.

Loke looked at her and raised an eyebrow. While everyone else was confused. "Lucy? Are you all right?" He said and stood up but Lucy tackled her into a hug and started sobbing.

"I missed you. I missed you so much. I thought you were dead, silly!" She ranted, and everyone else was too shocked to say anything.

"Lucy. Wait. I'm Loke. Loke. Not Sting." The boy pulled her away, gripping Lucy's arms with his hands. Lucy only shook her head. "That's funny, Sting." Tears were falling down her face and her whole body was shaking.

"What the hell is going on?!" Laxus demanded. Even Natsu stopped fooling around.

"This is bad. Lucy, calm down. All right? Shit!" Loke started panicking and looked at Lyon. "Did you take something?"

The girl nodded, and pressed her body into his, still sobbing. Loke cursed again.

"We have to get her out of here."

* * *

><p>Lucy couldn't believe it. Sting was alive and he's holding her. But he's already dead... right? She saw how him die. Maybe she was only dreaming. Maybe... she shook her head and suddenly realized that she was in another place. She heard voices around her but her eyes drooped closed, her eyelids heavy.<p>

"Can you explain what the fuck is going on?!" Cana asked Loke. They went back to her place and laid Lucy on the couch, her head resting on Loke's lap.

"I don't know... exactly. Something must have happened. She's drugged." He explained, trying to sort out his thoughts.

"Drugged?! Where the hell would she get them?!" Laxus was mad. He hated seeing Lucy like this and Cana was getting worried.

"I have no idea but this happened before. This isn't the first time." He said, and massaged his throbbing temples, trying to recall the bad memories.

Everyone seemed to sober up with what happened and they looked at Loke, trying to understand, trying to know what the hell was going on. Lucy was stirring in her state, mumbling incomprehensible words.

"It's pretty obvious. She's hallucinating and something must have triggered it but for now its best not to leave her."

"Can you tell us what happened...before?" Levy asked, trying her luck. Lucy's past was a sensitive topic but she was worried for her friend.

"Sting... he... dammit!" Loke was debating whether or not to tell them. He can tell that the people around him were trustworthy enough but Lucy might get mad at him. Laxus sensed his hesitation.

"Just tell us so we know. We want to help Lucy. I want to help her." He plainly said and looked at his little sister. Loke sighed in resignation.

"Sting died in front of her."

**TBC**

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><p>There! Hope you liked it! If I made any mistakes please don't hesitate to point it out. I'm trying to put the pieces together so the story won't be messy.<p>

Thank you so much to those who are followed, reviewed, and faved this story. See you on the next chapter. Don't forget to review! Until then.


	12. The Chemicals Between Us

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER ELEVEN<strong>

**THE CHEMICALS BETWEEN US**

Lucy was dreaming. Frowning in her sleep, she felt her memories burst through inside her head in snapshots like a huge wave of tsunami. The memories inside her head moved in a speed of lighting and before she can grasp one particular scene, it disappeared, only to be replaced with another fragmented memory. She was half-sleeping and dreaming at the same time, in a hypnagogic trance- lucid. Calming herself inwardly, her thoughts blurred and slowed down in a lazy motion until she felt that she was about to fall asleep again.

Then she started dreaming again, a dream laced with repressed memories. She was in a familiar place and she was with Loke and Rogue and Yukino. They were dancing together, buzzed and happy, having the time of their lives. A new scene flashed before her eyes, she was crying over something she can't remember inside her bedroom then there was Sting. He was there, dancing with another girl. Then the image blurred and changed again. She saw Gray and Juvia and then there was Sting again, with another girl. They were kissing. Gray was kissing Juvia. No. It was Sting and he was kissing someone else. Then it all disappeared after morphing together. Then Sting was in front of her again only this time he was alone. She heard him say sorry then there was blackness. She heard a loud bang.

Lucy screamed and trembled, waking up from her maddened slumber. Hysterical, she was shaking when her door burst open and Cana rushed in, hugging her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lucy chanted as if it those words were her mantra. Her body was shaking, rocking back and forth as Cana tried to comfort her.

"Sssshh. It's going to be okay, Lucy. You're going to be okay." Cana smoothed down her cousin's hair, whispering softly to her.

"No. No. No. It's not," Lucy sobbed harder. "Sting... h-he. I'm so sorry." Her tears were like a waterfall, drenching her cousin's arms. Cana wiped them away and hummed a soft tune. It took a while before Lucy calmed down and fell asleep again as if nothing happened.

When Lucy came around, she started to remember everything and buried her face in her hands. The humiliation, the memories, Gray, the shame and worst of all, the pain in her chest. Her throat was dry and her eyes itchy from all the crying. She looked at the clock and saw that it was 0230am. Checking the date, she couldn't believe that everything happened so fast and almost surreal. She stood up, fixed herself and took a shower, making up her mind. She didn't plan for this to happen. She didn't think that she would fall in love so hard and it was only now that she realized it to the point that it hurt her. It scared her and it's happening all over again.

Getting dressed, she took her bag and stuffed some clothes and a few other things. She took a memo pad and a pen, leaving a note on her bed. Lucy opened her door, without making a sound and saw that the whole place was dead quiet and dark. Cana must be asleep. She tiptoed her way across the hall and and snuck out.

* * *

><p>They couldn't believe what they just heard. Several mouths opened but no words came out. Loke sighed, seeing the look on their faces lathered with mixed emotions and confusion. Loke decided to continue.<p>

"After that Lucy was traumatized. She locked herself in her room, she wouldn't talk to anyone, she wouldn't see anyone. She stopped attending her classes as well and no one was there for her. Her father didn't even give a damn about her. It took a while before she finally showed herself to us but she... she was like a different person."

"And then what happened?" Gray asked. He couldn't stop himself anymore. Loke looked at him and continued.

"She tried to look happy, as if nothing happened and acted really weird. One time I informed her about Sting's funeral, you know, to ask her if she was going to attend but she just asked me who Sting was like she wasn't even kidding. It really kind of made me freak out but it was probably her way of coping and shit."

"But that's not all, isn't it?" Lyon said darkly, meeting him in the eyes while the others looked at him.

"No. But. Look, it was all in the past, okay? She didn't know what she was doing."

"Tell them, Loke." Lyon said curtly, his voice firm.

"No, Lyon. Lucy wouldn't want that."

"Tell us what?" Cana said, her eyes drifting back and forth between Lyon and Loke.

"Tell them that you started sleeping and fucking around with her. That the both of you started using drugs and god knows what!"

Silence. His words rang in their ears. "You fucking did what?!" Gray growled, staring daggers at Loke who held up his hands in front of him.

"You heard him Gray." Lyon said.

Gray gritted his teeth. He turned around and paced back and forth, thoughts swarming up inside his head. It made sense to him now. She was only using him. He hissed a laugh, shaking his head. How stupid can he get? Of course. He remembered it clearly. Her words rang in his ear, her words from the first time when they slept together. It was too good to be fucking true. Lucy had been fooling with him all along, playing with his feelings. It made him want to go berserk. He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to believe himself.

"Look. I was the only one that she had that time and it wasn't because I pitied her and it wasn't because I wanted to take advantage over her. It was because I felt her pain. That's why I followed her around and did whatever she wanted but I was dealing with my own shit too. Then I got caught using crank so I had to leave. Trust me, I didn't like what we did. Hell, even thinking about it now fucks the shit out of me but what's done is done." Loke said and he was followed by silence.

"Gray-sama?"

"Shut the fuck up, Juvia!" Gray lashed at her but Laxus pulled him before he could do anything. Gray was boiling with anger. Never had he felt like this before. He didn't want to believe it. It was just... so wrong.

"Don't tell me you... oh shit." Loke said, looking at Gray.

"It takes one to know one right, Loke?" Lyon said while looking at his brother smugly having figured it all out but the smirk on his face faded away when a punch landed on his face. Lyon stumbled on the floor and landed a punch back on his brother.

"You fucking bastard!" Gray shouted at his brother.

"That's enough!" Laxus and Jellal rushed over and pulled them apart before any more damage can happen. Gray's face was throbbing from where Lyon punched him and Lyon felt the same pain as he cupped a hand on his cheek, feeling a slight sting on his lip.

Just then, Lucy stirred and sat up, her eyes open. "What happened?" She looked around her, confused. Laxus was holding on to Gray and Jellal was doing the same to Lyon, blood on his lips.

"You happened!" Juvia snapped at her but Cana stopped the girl. "What? It was all her fault! It's a good thing I came back."

"Stop it, Juvia." Erza warned.

"Now you're on that bitch's side? She was only playing with Gray-sama's feelings! I only put her in her place."

"What the hell did you do?" Cana asked her.

Juvia shrugged. "Nothing. I just kissed Gray-sama in front of her, that's all." She said with a laugh. Gray looked at her, his eyes wide. Lucy was there and he didn't even know! Wait, when? What?

"Oh shit." Loke mumbled. Lucy was lost then she remembered, her eyes growing wide. She finally remembered.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_There was something wrong with Sting, something that had to do with his disappearance every now and then. Lucy convinced herself that it was probably nothing. She knows that he loves her and she trusts him on that but she can't help feeling nervous and she didn't even want to entertain the idea that he had been cheating on her. No. Sting wouldn't do that. _

_Two days ago he even took her out on a date. They had lunch at her favorite restaurant and they even watched a movie after. But there was something wrong with him and she had to ask. Lucy recalled their conversation. _

_"Are you happy with me, Luce?" _

_She looked at him as if he was crazy. "Of course, silly." She told him but a small frown painted his face. "What's wrong, Sting?" _

_The boy shook his head. "Nothing. We're just... too happy." He said in a low voice but Lucy heard him. She pretended that she didn't hear anything. When he took her back home, Lucy can't help but replay his words overs and over again. What did he mean? What's wrong with being happy? Isn't that a good thing? What could be wrong?_

_But that wasn't all. Weekend came and there was no sign of him. Even Rogue and Yukino had no idea where he was. Noticing that she was feeling down, Yukino asked her what happened but Lucy only shrugged it off with a smile and said that nothing was wrong. That night, they decided to go out so Lucy can take her mind off whatever that was bothering her. _

_For a moment she did. The three of them were dancing together then Loke arrived. Earlier, she tried calling Sting but he didn't pick up her calls nor answered any of her messages. Lucy tried to forget all her worries and tried to have fun. Laughing, she made her way to the bar to get a drink and rest for a while but she froze. The noise died out and she felt her blood run cold. _

_Sting was there, just a few steps away from her, kissing and grinding his body against a girl, one that she recognized from school. They were making out like they weren't the only people there. Sting was feeling up Minerva and the girl was clinging unto him. Lucy felt something hot and wet trickle down her cheeks but no sound came out from her mouth. She wanted to scream at them and pull him away but she couldn't move her body. Sting looked like he was enjoying himself. Lucy felt someone grab her arms but she didn't move._

_Loke followed her gaze and saw what was wrong. He rushed forward and punched Sting, making the crowd break and look at them. "What the fuck?!" Loke growled at him. Sting realized that Lucy was there and she was crying, cemented in her place. _

_"Luce. I-." Sting tried to approach her but Loke stopped him. _

_Lucy wiped her tears and calmed her heaving chest. "You we were right, Sting. We were too happy." She said and left. _

_"We're not fucking done yet, Sting." Loke spat at him and followed after the girl. _

_"I'm sorry, Luce." Sting whispered to no one in particular and wiped his bleeding lips._

* * *

><p>"What happened to the both of you? Did you get into a fight?" Ur asked when she saw her sons sitting on the living room, sulking. The woman sighed and left, returning with a first aid kit. When she sat between them, Gray stood up and went to his room. "Gray!"<p>

She turned to Lyon who ignored her. "Lyon, what happened?" She asked and cupped his cheek, checking his wound. The boy turned away and left. "What am I going to do with the both of you?"

"Leave them alone, mom," Ultear said from the kitchen then giggled. "It must be because of a girl."

Ut frowned at her daughter and placed the kit on the coffee table. "They must have it bad, huh." She said.

Gray sat on his bed and checked his phone. He didn't know what to do anymore, he didn't know what to think anymore. It all happened too soon and it was all messed up inside his head. He had prepared himself when Lucy said that she was bringing trouble but he wasn't expecting this and his brother was being a bitch. Then there's Juvia. Gray felt like going mad but he learned not to do anything drastic. He didn't want to go back and spend another night in the hospital.

Just what the hell was Lucy's relationship with that Loke guy? He took his phone and texted Cana. He had to talk to Loke. To clarify things. Sure, he was hurt but there must be something else. He was mad at Lucy but he liked her too much to just let her go through her mess on her own. He wanted to be there for her, even it kills him. He had to know.

Loke arrived five minutes after him. They decided to meet at a coffee shop to talk. It was awkward for the both of them but Loke had a way with people and Gray eased out right away. Gray didn't know what to say even if he had the words planned out before coming to meet him. The other guy sensed his little discomfort and smiled.

"So, this is about Lucy, right?" Loke asked. Of course. It was pretty obvious. Gray only nodded, still at loss for words.

"I-I... I like her a lot." He said quietly and heard Loke sighed beside him.

"She wasn't always like that. She's a good person, through and through, but along the way she must have forgotten about it and didn't know what to do."

"I can tell."

"All right. I'll be real honest with you but you have to promise me one thing." Loke looked at him in the eyes.

"Sure."

"Promise me you'll fix her. Promise me that you won't fuck up like I did and that you won't bail out."

Gray nodded. Loke didn't have to ask.

* * *

><p>"She what?!" Laxus, Levy and Lisanna chorused, looking at Cana who was sitting on the couch drinking a bottle of wine. They decided to visit the two to check on Lucy.<p>

"Like I said she left." Cana said nonchalantly and lifted up a piece of paper as an evidence.

_Don't look for me. Sorry for the trouble. -L_

"And why did you just tell us now? I thought she was sick when she didn't go to school but she's been missing?" Levy snapped, creases on her eyebrows.

"I asked Loke. I asked Bacchus. None of them had any idea where she went. I thought I should wait for a while but she's just...gone. I tried calling her and all but she's not picking up." The brunette explained. Just then, the doorbell rang. Natsu went to open the door and found Loke with two other people that he haven't seen before, a cute girl with short white hair and a serious looking guy with red eyes. Natsu told them to come in and closed the door.

"I think I know how to find her but it won't be until Friday night." Loke said and held up a ticket.

**TBC**

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><p>Here's another update because I can't sleep. If I made any mistakes or messed up the whole plot along the way, please tell me so I can fix it.<p>

Thanks for the reviews and all. Until then! :)


	13. Mad About You

Hey guys! Everything's been really overwhelming and I have to say that I was happy to get such positive feedbacks and reviews. I know I keep saying this all the time but thank you so much for those who are supporting _Paradise Circus_. I hope I'm living up to all of your expectations and I would gladly hear from you guys. 

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL.**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWELVE<strong>

**MAD ABOUT YOU**

The room reeked of sex. Three packets of cheap condom were on the bedside table- unopened. Lucy was lying on her stomach, her head throbbing like hell from the she arrived at the cheap motel, a few days ago, she started drinking right away then passed out for a couple of hours. When she woke up, she grabbed the cheap bottle of local gin beside her pillow and chugged it down. It was cycle. A cycle that prevented her from leaving the bed.

Everyone had been flooding her phone with messages and missed calls. She had been craving for meth but it was impossible now since the news have reached Bacchus and he had been texting her as well, asking her whereabouts. It must have been Cana's doing. Lucy blamed herself for doing such a wrong move of letting the two of them meet. She silently hoped that Bacchus didn't tell Cana that he was her dealer and that he might end up getting tangled in her messy business.

Lucy even stopped going to school even if she bought some of her reading materials with her but they were of no use. She did not want to risk herself and go to the university since it will mean that Lucy herself was asking to be killed. She was a sheep and they were the wolves but this time the sheep was the bad guy and the wolves were the good ones. For days she lived on alcohol and take-out food from the nearby convenience store. She had been gone for a few days but she still didn't know what to do... how to face them. She wasn't ready yet. She didn't want to explain and tell them the story of her life even if they were deeply involved in a way that Lucy cannot approve her. Laughing inwardly, Lucy laughed at her own self for forgetting the very meaning of friendship.

On some nights she would leave, wary and on the look out for anyone familiar and scoured the streets to look for a mad hatter. She went here and there, stare at the night sky and leave before the sun came up, making do on low quality dope. She knew she was being ripped off with the prices but what else can she do? They run on a "take it or leave it" policy and she was an irregular customer who popped in out from nowhere so trust was a big issue and Lucy had no other choice but to allow herself to be fooled by the drug dealers.

And there's the thing about her addiction. She wanted so badly to stop but the fear of going through withdrawal alone scared the crap out of her. She can't just barge in inside Cana's place and say, "Hey, cous. I'm going through withdrawal. Better get ready, all right?" No. Going through withdrawal was not a light matter and it's clearly not like having a bad hangover. Lucy then realized that she was alone. All on her own. She have to clean up the mess that she made. Now she felt what it was like to be actually lonely.

Sometimes she would see glimpses of a dark, raven hair and her heartbeat would accelerate, thumping wildly on her chest only to discover that it was someone else. She tried to think what she would do if she'll see Gray unexpectedly but until now, it did not happen. With a loud groan, she rolled in her bed, thinking. What else would she do? Play with the condom and make a balloon out of it? But the sight of those dick wrappers sent her hormones raging, plus the effect of the meth on her libido. That made her think about Gray again. Was she really after him just because of his godly body? Or was it because it runs deeper than just sex?

Her wild days with Loke were fulfilling, at least physically but with Gray it was different even with the way how he held her every time they would sleep together. With Gray her own selfish desire comes first before his yet Gray put up with it and she had been stupid enough to indulge herself in it. If her moments with Loke had been fulfilling, then how was it with Gray? Lucy felt a stirring in her heart, making her stomach flutter.

She also knew that she wouldn't be able to continue this kind of unhealthy lifestyle but she needed the time. Time to think things over, time to reflect and realize the wrong things that she had been doing. She wasn't human anymore. Lucy has become a monster. Was it really too late for her?

And these were all because her own self decided to go against her and broke down, not to mention that she was tripped out when it happened. Lucy tried to recall everything but the things inside her head were mixed in a way that was hard for her to determine which really happened and which didn't and this knowledge made her all the more hesitant to show herself again front of them. But the kiss...

It really did happen right?

* * *

><p>Before coming to meet Loke at the coffeeshop Gray tried to process everything and he was hoping that his talk with Loke will eventually shed light and help him put the puzzle together. He was mad at her, mad at the thought that the possibility of him being Lucy's fuck body might be true. But looking on the bright side, if it can be actually seen as a positive thing, at least they had been more than strangers for a good time now. He convinced himself that Lucy's behavior was merely brought upon by her past and if there's a way for him to be able to mend her, hell- he'll do everything. Lucy was like a self-defying gravity, pushing him away only to pull him back in the end, but see, that was it. He'll always come back to her... eventually.<p>

Gray snapped away from his thoughts and came down to earth. He felt like Loke was a fortuneteller who was about to read his future. It made him feel strangely scared but at the same time, he was eager to hear his fortune or misfortune. The other boy spoke. "I don't really like doing this, I feel like a broken record now but I'll tell you anyway. Your brother knows because I told him. but judging from what happened I bet you'll only be at each other's throat before one of you can even complete a whole sentence if you asked him instead of me."

Of course. His dick of a brother. It wasn't Lyon's fault. Gray was perfectly aware that, but why did he acted as if he was deliberately trying to make things worse? Lyon was Lucy's friend right? But why did he sold her out like that? Maybe Lyon was trying to make a point, as if he was only trying to save him from Lucy but why? Something must have happened. Great. Another lock to unlock and the key fell down in the sewers.

Loke saw the deep look that Gray had on his face and smirked. "Who would have thought that this could happen. I thought these kind of things only happen in movies and sappy soap operas. But man, brothers falling in love for the same girl? Heeh."

Gray blinked. Wait- what? Lyon likes Lucy? How? Why? Why? He looked at Loke. "Enlighten me."

"I've known it for a long time. Lyon liked Lucy but well, Sting checkmated and Lyon lost the game. All along I thought he got over her since he started dating some chick after Sting and Lucy announced that they were together but then when I came back it looks like he wasn't completely over her."

"Wait. I don't want to talk about my brother."

Loke sighed. "Suit yourself. Then I guess I'll move along with my relationship with her then?"

Gray nodded and gulped, trying hard not to chicken out. He can feel the lump of his throat. He can even taste it and it was kind of bitter. Not good.

"I'll cut to the chase. My relationship with Lucy was purely physical but Lucy was not promiscuous. That was it. She was tied to Sting even if he was... not erm, around anymore and who can turn her down? Lucy may not know it but there's something about her that makes you want to just lock her up and protect her, pamper her, but then I guess that was why she's acting like this. She didn't want to make people feel as if she was weak. True, she's not but, uhh, she can't just do everything on her own."

Gray nodded in understanding. This guy may act like a total jerk but he knows what he's actually talking about. "And the drugs?"

Loke narrowed his eyes for a moment as if trying to search for the right words to say. "I don't know how it started but we were always at parties. We got drunk until well, some dick probably coached us into using it and we were idiots and we were both foolish enough to try. You know how it goes but before we knew it we got totally into it until I got busted- that then we both decided to stop."

Both of them were silent for a while. Gray wondered if he'll ever get to hear Lucy's side coming from her own mouth. He groaned and wished that he'll have all the strength he can next time that they meet. "I don't really get it but it's true. At first we started having a physical relationship. But we never expecting that it would come to this." He waved a hand, as if "this" was in the air.

"Well, I know this won't be a lost cause."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know about Lucy, but the physical part of your relationship with her is one sided. I mean, you like her right? You said so yourself."

Gray nodded.

"Well then, you can start with that."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure that Lucy would want to see us?" Yukino asked. Virgo heard from her brother they were coming so she decided to let them stay at her place instead of letting them spend money for a hotel room and both took the offer without hesitation since Virgo was rarely at home and they missed Loke.<p>

"I'm sure she won't like it at first but don't worry about it." Loke said.

"That's exactly what she's talking about." Rogue commented and looked at Yukino's sad face.

"I really miss Lucy."

"We all do. We all miss the Lucy back then. Hey, Loke, is she really... err... different? I mean I know she changed but I rarely saw her when she stopped talking. To us." The girl said.

Loke smiled warmly at her. "Well then let's bring the old Lucy back, shall we?"

Rogue started to think but he figured it was best to give Loke a head's up. He cleared his throat, getting their attention. "There's something you both need to know." His gaze was fixed on nowhere and he had a dark look on his face.

"What?"

"It's about Sting."

* * *

><p>When he heard the news that Lucy was missing, Lyon felt like shit. He ended up half-blaming himself for lashing out like that just because he was jealous, because he was getting desperate and the guilt of putting Lucy under the truck made him feel like shit. He knew that he had no chance against his brother. He knew that Lucy wouldn't look at him like how she would look at Gray.<p>

First it was Sting and he had been a coward. Now it was his brother and he couldn't accept the fact that he was going to lose for the second time around without putting up a fight. Lyon was perfectly aware that he had been playing dirty and it sickened him. He was glad that Juvia was there and that her absurd possessiveness when it came to his brother became an ace in the whole farce. Like him, Juvia's chance in getting Gray back was below zero but Juvia is Juvia and she's a girl. That fact alone was enough to keep him going. Lucy might end up hating him but for now, he'll try and make her hate Gray first only Juvia made the first move.

Everyone tried to look for Lucy whenever they were free. Cana was pretty much in the dumps, worried about her cousin. She had an argument with Laxus about what to do and whether or not they should inform Gildarts but they had no idea what the consequences would be and Lucy might end up hating them forever so they decided to wait around, until Sunday. It was a risk, knowing Lucy and her junkie habits, but they wanted to find her first and make her talk before deciding what to do later on.

Erza had been having a hard time trying to restrain Cana from wringing Juvia's neck whenever the group would start talking about Lucy. Juvia's sharp and poisonous tongue kept on poking Cana in the forehead and god knows just how many veins have popped inside the brunette's forehead.

Gray had the upper-hand and knows the right place to go on where he might possibly find Lucy. He would leave right away after class without telling them and keep on going back and forth between the places where they used hang out but there were no signs of her. He also went to The Rooftop and informed Bob to keep an eye out for Lucy but the blond probably knew and avoided the place. It was almost as if Lucy was just gone, as if she vanished into thin air.

Now all they have to do is wait for that one Friday night.

**TBC**

* * *

><p>There you go! Chapter 12 of Paradise Circus. So tell me what you guys think? :)<p> 


	14. A City of Sleeping Hearts

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for those who are supporting this story. All the more reason for me to make this better despite the pressure. :)

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER THIRTEEN<strong>

**A CITY OF SLEEPING HEARTS**

Friday came too soon without her knowing what lays ahead of her. Lucy was plopped up on the bed and the room now reeked of alcohol. She was clutching a ticket, the one that Lyon gave her. She wanted to go, she wanted to see their faces again. She wanted to see Erza eating her cake, Cana drinking a whole bottle of liquor all to herself; she missed Laxus' serious yet comforting face, Natsu's idiotic stances. She wanted to see Levy again and talk to her about books under Gajeel's protective hawk-like stare. She wanted to see Jellal wrapped Erza's embrace; Mira and Lisanna. Even Lyon...and Gray. She missed him the most, how his eyes shine whenever he looks at her, his cold warmth, his deep voice but ever since she left, he had not contacted her. No messages, no missed calls. Whenever her phone would light up she would hastily grab it, hoping to see his name on the screen but it was all Cana or Levy or Laxus or Loke. Hell, even Natsu left her a message asking her to fight him.

She knew that she had been feeling lonely with no one to talk to. She had been lonely staying in, holed up inside the four walls of this motel room in her drunken and drugged state. She missed the heat of the sun, the morning breeze. Lucy missed everything outside the door and it was her own fault. She imprisoned her own self, caged her mind, and the key was just beside her but she was too scared to even touch it and feel its cold metallic skin against her fingers. She was gritting her teeth, her grinding her jaw from the meth and wished she had a gum to ease the fixation. Lucy had never been this nervous and it was time to make up her mind and that includes her situation with Gray.

_Head over heart, _she thought. She didn't want to fall further than she already had and it hurt when she saw them kissing together. The pain that she first felt was nothing compared to what she had been feeling lately. The fact that she had been drinking when she saw them was probably the reason why she didn't feel that much pain, plus the fact that she crushed it away with the trippy pills. But now that days have passed, having only a mediocre amount of meth, the real pain finally found an opening and digged its way inside her chest. Alcohol was a depressant, a good one at that, and it doubled up her emotions. Falling for Gray was the best thing that happened to her after Sting but at the same time it scared the crap out of her. She doesn't deserve someone like him. She had no right to fall in love with him especially after how she had been using him. Friends with benefits? Not anymore. Her plan backfired and now she's licking her own elbow. Even if she will eventually regret her decision, Lucy knew that it was for the best. Without her knowing, Gray had made his way into her veins and even if it meant that she will have to stay under the scorching heat of the sun or bleed herself dry, she will. She needed to get him out of her system. And without him knowing, he had somehow forced her to remember the things that she had been trying to forget.

The chance of seeing them at the party was obviously high. Even Loke would be there since he seemed to be the one who planned it all. She only had a couple of hours left before the party yet she was still in a dilemma whether or not to show her face and she probably looked like shit right now. Her skin was paler than usual and she's probably sporting huge bags under her eyes but being her, she never really cared much about her physical appearance. Just thinking about this reminded of Juvia. The girl was beautiful, prettier than her. No wonder she and Gray looked so good together. Lucy felt small, she felt like she was the one who was getting in their way.

Thirsty, Lucy took a bottle of water from her bedside table and emptied it, hissing at how her jaws hurt. Finally deciding to go, she went to take a shower and fixed herself at a slow speed, carefully taking her time and giving herself more time to think things over. She gathered all of her stuff back in her bag and planned to rent a locker at the station where she can leave her things before going to the club.

She shook off the uneasiness that was starting to creep underneath her skin and organized her thoughts. Quit meth. Apologize to Cana and Laxus. Talk to Lyon. Loke. And finally, leave Gray and Juvia alone. Her withdrawal will have to be dealt with at a later time. But before she could leave, her phone rang. Lucy took her phone and her hands trembled when she saw the name of the caller in the screen.

"Yukino?!"

* * *

><p>"Don't worry too much, Cana," Mira assured her. "I'm sure Lucy will be there."<p>

The drunkard offered a soft smile to her but she was having her doubts. She looked around at the people present. Lisanna and Natsu were sitting on the couch watching the telly along with Gajeel, Jellal and the others while the older batch were gathered in the dining room.

"But what if she won't? Or she'll never make it? Or something must have already happened to her." Cana groaned, pressing her thumbs against her temples.

"It's true. We haven't heard from her for almost a week but Lucy is strong. I'm sure she'll be there." Erza said with confidence and Cana only nodded before pouring herself a glass of wine. They decided to have dinner together at her place. Cana was used to being alone since her father was rarely home but since Lucy moved in, she found herself liking her company even if she was being a mean brat sometimes. They were close as kids and that will never change. Lyon then arrived.

"Where's Gray?" Natsu asked him, noticing that he came alone.

Lyon only shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. He left the house before I did. Try calling him." He sat beside Gajeel and the two started talking. "Where's Juvia?"

It was Lisanna who answered. "She said she'll meet us at the club instead."

They still had a few hours left before the party and the girls started fixing themselves, leaving the men in the living room to put up with their shrieks and giggles and squeals from Cana's room. Laxus and Gajeel cringed when they heard a high pitched screech from the room followed by some other sound that only the female creatures can make.

"Stop it! It's embarrassing." Someone screamed.

"But it's so squishy and peachy!" Another girlish giggle.

Natsu took the remote and lowered the volume before hearing a loud smack.

"Did you just slap my butt?"

"What? It's so firm, I like it."

"I wish I had Cana's butt."

"Waaaa. Erza, it's big and bouncy!"

"S-s-shut up!"

"Look how they jiggle!"

"Stop touching them!"

"Ouch!"

"Haha! Erza you should put a sign on your boobies that say 'Jellal's property."

The boys looked at Jellal suggestively whose face only reddened. Gajeel sniggered.

"Hey, Lisanna. How's Natsu in bed?"

"Eh?!"

"Is he big?"

"I bet Laxus is big! He's just so sexy."

"Those muscles are just so...urgh."

"How about a bet?"

"How are we supposed to know?"

"Hmm. We can spy on him."

"Dunno. Feel him up?" A loud gasp followed by a magnitude 7- girlish giggles.

"..."

"Will he fit?"

Laxus-palmed. He groaned and turned up the volume of the television, not wanting to hear the wicked creatures talk anymore. Women are such vicious animals and they call men perverts. Gray arrived and noted the scene before him. The guys were all quiet, sitting in the living room, their faces red. The television was on but they weren't watching.

"What the hell happened here?" He asked and plopped himself on the couch.

Silence.

Nobody looked at him and no even one bothered to answer his question. Then, the banshees screeched in chorus again, making the guys flinch in their seats.

"Does anybody have a loaded gun?" Laxus said.

* * *

><p>He found Juvia waiting for him at a table by the window. She was all dressed up, wearing a skin-tight midnight blue short dress and her hair was tied up in a ponytail. He had the right mind to decline her invitation but she insisted that it was only a "friendly" dinner so in the end he gave in. He sat across her.<p>

"No need to be on your guard." She said with her usual smile. Gray sighed and the waiter took their orders before leaving. He allowed himself to relax but at the same time he remained on guard. How can he not be on guard when she's right there in front of him? He remembered again, the incident at Cana's party after he punched Lyon. Juvia was a scheming bitch. She had no right to do that and she definitely had no right to kiss him but she did and on such a perfect timing, right when Lucy was looking at them and he didn't even know.

Gray felt like he was transported back to that time again, the moment when Lucy came to. She asked everyone what was happening and Juvia had to explain it to her in such a crude way. The look on Lucy's face made Gray clench his fists. He hated seeing her like that, seeing her as if she was about to shatter into pieces. After seeing her like that, he made a mental promise, a vow even, that he would do anything to keep her away from making that kind of face again, especially when he was one of the reasons why. It saddened him but he was still dazed from his rage, blinding him. After Juvia mentioned about the kiss, no one was prepared to witness what happened after, even Levy cried and Laxus tried so hard not to break anything.

Lucy was silent for a while before what Juvia said sunk in. She opened her mouth then closed it again, her eyes wide and the color on her face started to drain. Lucy froze and all of a sudden, tears fell down from her eyes like a waterfall but there was no sound. She started shaking until her finally cries made their way out of her mouth. Her cries grew louder and louder that Cana started to panic. Lucy's body was shaking uncontrollably and Loke pulled her into a hug. Then Lucy started screaming. Gray can still remember how her voice shook, how it rang in his ears as he just stood there, unable to do anything. Her body shook violently against Loke who tried to comfort her but he failed. "I'm sorry." She screamed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Over and over again.

It broke's Gray heart. She had been suffering alone all this time and he had to add up to that. He was still lost in his thoughts when he felt someone touch his hand that was shaking on the table, making him jump.

"Are you all right?" Juvia asked him.

"Yeah. I'm fine," He said seeing no need for him to explain. "What do you want?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you talking about? Can I not invite a friend for dinner?"

"You have other friends, Juvia. I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind keeping you company over dinner."

"They are...not available at the moment." She said.

Of course. He was supposed to go to Cana's as well. He figured everyone might already be there, prepping up for the party later. Their food arrived along with a bottle of wine. He didn't want to drink just yet but a glass of wine never hurt anyone. He wanted to confront her about the incident. Yes. That was mainly the reason why he agreed to go out with her for the night but he didn't know how to approach the topic. He had to do it in his usual way.

"Juvia."

"What is it, Gray-sama?" She said sweetly.

Gray cringed and cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "Why did you have to that to Lucy?"

"What are you talking about, Gray-sama?"

So she was playing innocent now, huh. "You know what I'm talking about. Stop playing games, Juvia. You hurt her. You kissed me on purpose just to hurt her."

She feigned a sad demeanor and sat upright in her chair. "Well she hurt you first. She doesn't deserve someone like you, Gray-sama."

"And you're telling me that you do?"

"Of course. I know you better than her. She's just an addict." Juvia said haughtily. A bitch transformed is called Juvia.

Breathe in, breathe out. Gray reminded himself. "She may be an addict Juvia, but she's not a conniving bitch like you!" He hissed. So he wasn't able to control himself.

Juvia was shocked when he dropped the b-word and froze in her seat. "You love her that much? I envy her. Even when we were together I can tell that you were only putting up with me, tch. You were only forcing yourself even when you hold my hand. What does she have that I don't? Why her?!" Her voice increased but she kept herself from causing a scene.

"Simple. Because she's Lucy. I'm sorry, Juvia. It will never be you especially not after what you did. Excuse me."

With that, Gray left having lost his appetite. Juvia had a hard look on her face. She was seething with anger that tears suddenly poured down her cheeks. No. She will never accept Lucy for her Gray-sama. Wiping away her tears, she paid the bill and left.

* * *

><p>She finally remembered. Loke mentioned that Rogue and Yukino would be coming over from Crocus. Lucy sat on the bed, clutching her phone with one hand. It has been a long time since she last heard Yukino's voice and saw her name on the screen. Lucy even almost forgot that she still had Yukino's contact details registered on her phone. Maybe it really was the time to face them after everything. Rogue and Yukino both deserve to hear an explanation why she cut them off like that and Loke, on the other had, was only trying to help. Thinking about it now, Lucy realized that she had actually forgotten the reason why she stopped talking to them in the first place. It was as if the passage of time dragged some of her memories away with it.<p>

Lucy stood up with a sigh and went to the bathroom to check her appearance. She looked worse than she thought she would. She looked like a ghost, pale and skinny. Even her pink lips were of a lighter shade now and there were dark bags under her eyes. Lucy went back to the room and put on some make-up, hoping it would conceal her panda eyes and add color on her face. Finally done, she looked at the mirror and felt satisfied that she looked like a proper human being now. She combed her hair and noticed the amount of strands that fell on the floor. Lucy hummed a sad tone before finally deciding to step out. She gathered her things, check if she left something, and made her way out of the hell hole/prison cell.

She walked towards the station and got on a train. The ride took her 15 minutes while her eyes squinted at the brightness of the lights. After getting off, she rented a locker and dropped of her bag. Lucy decided to go by foot towards where she will be meeting Yukino and Rogue. She knew that Loke would also be there. After passing several buildings, she turned left and passed by a restaurant. Her eyes drifted inside and saw two familiar faces inside.

The girl was sitting across him, both of them dressed up, they were talking and she had her hand over his hand.

She almost sprinted into a run but she only quickened her steps and lowered her head, afraid that they notice her figure and recognize her. When she knew she was out of sight, she slowed down her steps and breathed out a sigh of relief. She felt like choking her own self. No. She was being choked and at the same time, there was a brick inside her throat. Scratch that. A rope magically appeared inside her chest and it's coiling around the walls of her heart. Tighter. Tighter. Tighter. She felt so cold on the inside but her head was boiling. She wanted to collapse then and there, in the middle of the sidewalk but she still had places to go and people to see. Lucy felt like a soldier, marching her way into a battlefield and she had a mission. But she was ready now. She knew that she was on the right track and what she saw just a little while ago made her determination spiral upwards. As she walked her way to where her old friends are waiting for her, a battle cry rang in her head, loud and clear.

She, Lucy Heartfilia, will cut off Gray Fullbuster. Tonight.

**TBC**

* * *

><p>Hey guys! How's it going?<br>So, what do you think? Sorry if I made any mistakes in this chapter. I have two exams waiting for me at a later time today so I'm kind of messy in the head. If you have any suggestions or requests, please feel free to PM me. R&R too. You all know the drill. Thanks again for reading! :)


	15. Endless, A Silent Whisper

The reviews I got from the previous chapter inspired me a lot. A big thanks to **radishbumps****, ****AsDarknessSpreads****, ****Penny Rosillian** and **Kowareta1468 **for their lively and continuous reviews and of course, to everyone else who are reading _Paradise Circus! _

Oh, one more thing. I'm going to work on another story right after I finish this. If you guys have any requests or something, just leave me a message.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER FOURTEEN<strong>

**ENDLESS, A SILENT WHISPER**

After what seemed like a million years, the girls finally emerged out of the room, all dolled up in beautiful dresses and killer heels ready for the party. Their cheeks were still red from their scandalous roguery which left the boys to work with their creative imagination about what exactly happened inside since they were still giggling like the naughty girls that they were until Levy noticed the thickness of the air in the living room.

"What happened here? You all look as if someone just announced that Natsu got pregnant and nobody knows who the father is." Cana said sheepishly, who noticed it as well.

"Cana!"

The boys groaned again until Natsu announced that he was hungry. Again. Gajeel seconded the motion. Grumbling, Cana and Mira decided to fix them some quick snacks before they crowded back into the living room.

"Oh, that reminds me," Levy said as all heads turned to her. "Gray, I have been meaning to ask you something but you had been busy and I kind of don't know how to approach the topic so... yeah." Timid as always.

The person in question raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Uh, it's about Lucy but if you don't want to answer then it's fine. Hehehe."

The group was curious now, listening closely as if they were plotting to rob a bank

"What about her?"

Levy laughed shyly. "Uhm. You see, I know you and Lucy had gotten somehow close since after the party at Natsu's but. I'm sorry. Nevermind."

"Just get to the point, Levy."

"Okay. What I was trying to ask is how exactly did you and Lucy, you know, got together? And I'm sorry for prying but I was also wondering what did Lyon meant back then when he said that 'it takes one to know one'." The girl fidgeted on her seat, taking short and quick glances at Lyon and Gray, hoping they won't get mad.

"Oh, yeah. I've been wondering about that too." Lisanna added.

Gray sighed in surrender. Of course there was a way out of this 'interview' but he figured that they will only ask and pester him again about it in the future and knowing them, they won't stop until they get the answers that they want to hear from him. "Fine. I'll tell you but..." he glanced at Laxus and Cana, "just don't freak out or something and let me finish before you start concluding things."

"Whatever. Get to it, snowman." Natsu said, his ears already itching. He was never one for this kind of thing but Gray was involved and Natsu thought that he should listen since he might pick up something so he can tease Gray about it. Yeah. Natsu can be idiotic and dense at times but tonight, his brain seemed to be working.

Gray gave him the 'I'll kill you later look' and nodded. "Actually, I met Lucy even before Cana found her."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_Yukino found Lucy inside her room. She decided to visit her friend out of worry since she wasn't at school. Lucy, at that time, was living in a one-bedroom apartment that her father rented out for her since it was closer to Sabertooth and Lucy had been more than glad to agree. Yukino frowned when she saw Lucy curled up on her bed. Her eyes were puffy from crying and it looks like she hadn't eaten for days. She moved beside her, stroking her hair._

_"Lucy, I'm really sorry. Everyone's worried about you since you weren't at school." _

_Yukino was met with silence so she continued instead. "Loke told us what happened. I'm really sorry. Sting... he wasn't at school either. Have you talked to him? Rogue's been looking for him as well." _

_She saw tears pooling in her friend's eyes as Lucy shook her head, her lips quivering. "H-he didn't even run after me that night, Yuki. He hasn't called me nor texted me. Not even once and I don't know what else to do. I'm still mad at him but I miss him."_

_Yukino pulled her into a hug. Both of them were sitting now, Yukino leaned her back against the headboard while Lucy laid her head on her friend's chest. "I'm so sorry Lucy but I think that you should know." _

_"Know what?" _

_Yukino bit her lip. She figured that it would hurt Lucy even more if she told her but her friend had to know so she can figure out what to do next. She was mad at Sting for breaking Lucy's heart but after what he did, trust was going to be a big issue if they happen to make up._

_"Yukino? It's okay. Just tell me." _

_The girl sighed. "Sting had been seeing Minerva for quite a while now. That explains why he had been disappearing every now and then. I don't really know why he did it. I know he loves you but you have to talk to him." _

_Lucy's shoulders were shaking. She stifled out her sobs. "How did you know?" _

_"Loke and I confronted Minerva earlier. She said Sting came to her but we doubt it. That girl had been always crazy about him." _

_"Well that means he doesn't love me that much. I'm just plain and boring, after all. We don't fit each other. I'm just a drab girl and Sting was something else, he's famous. I knew it was too good to be true." _

_"No you're not, Lucy. You're not." _

_Lucy paused for a while and inhaled deeply. Every intake of breath hurt her chest but she had to get over it. "W-were they... Had they been s-s-sleeping tog-together?" _

_"I'm so sorry Lucy."_

_Lucy cried some more, quivering inside Yukino's embrace while her friend patiently comforted her. Yukino knew just how much the girl loved Sting, she saw how happy she was with him. What could have gone wrong? _

_"Ne, Yukino?" _

_"Hmmmm?" _

_"What's wrong with being too happy?" _

_"I don't know, Lucy. I don't know."_

* * *

><p>The silence that lingered in the air was overwhelming that no one spoke for a moment. Yukino and Loke were still trying to process what Rogue just said. When it finally sunk in, Loke gulped and looked at Rogue.<p>

"What do you mean? That doesn't explain everything!"

"Calm down, Loke," Rogue said. "I know this is sort of hard to take it but it's the truth. Even Lucy had no idea about this since Sting didn't tell her and I figured that it's best if we tell her about it together. It'll be harder for me if I don't."

Yukino nodded in agreement. Rogue had always been the calm one and Loke was rash one. "How did you know about this? Did Sting tell you himself?" She asked.

Rogue nodded. "Yes, he did. We grew up together and he was practically like a brother to me. He was my best friend so of course I know. He made me promise not to tell anyone that's why I kept my mouth shut but after hearing from Loke what happened, I figured that I have no other choice but to tell you guys. This has been unresolved for years. I'm not doing this just for our sake knowing how miserable we had been after the fall out but I'm telling you this for Lucy's sake too. I mean, how can she move on if things haven't even come to a closure? Lucy isn't the one who's still running in circles. Sting kept this from her until his... uh, until his last moment. And one more thing."

"What?"

Rogue turned to Yukino. "I'm sorry, Yuki, but I know how Sting died. His mother talked to me after his funeral. Sorry for not telling you," then he turned to Loke, "I know that you and Lucy both know how he died. I was shocked as hell when I heard the story from aunty and it finally made sense to me why Lucy was out of her mind. It had been terrible for her, that much I can tell."

"It's all right, Rogue. I'm sure you have your reasons." She reached out her hand to him and squeezed it gently.

"Thank you. When I heard about how he died from his mom, I eventually figured out the rest and realized that he was beyond help. Sting had been suffering all along but he didn't want to burden us, especially Lucy. That's why he didn't tell you guys about it. When he's with us he made sure that we won't suspect anything. He was one good actor since he was able to fool me too. He was always in a good mood, always in his usual self. He loved Lucy too much that he kept his pain and worries away from her. Like any other guy in love, he thought that it was probably the right thing to do. The idea of Lucy being sad because of him was something that he couldn't probably take that was why he decided to shoulder his pain alone."

"That bastard."

Rogue sighed. "If he did tell us there was nothing we could do to help him. It was out of our hands."

"But at least we could have made it easier for him! He didn't have to die that way! He didn't have to suffer on his own," Loke shouted. "If he was here right now I'd punch some sense to him."

"I still don't get it, Rogue. Please explain everything." Yukino said softly.

"All right."

* * *

><p>"..."<p>

"If you knew her then why didn't you say so?" Erza asked Gray who gulped. He wasn't exactly nervous but everyone's eyes were on him and it kind of put him on the edge.

"Look. I'll hit the bull's eye straight, okay? I met Lucy at a bar. That day there was longboarding competition around town and some of us won so we hit the bar that night for a celebration and I saw her there, she was alone and I've had a bit of drink myself. Later that night we ended up having a one night stand."

Gray observed their reactions. Cana was about to open her mouth to say something but Laxus stopped her and urged Gray to continue. "But that's not all. We continued to meet after that, usually over drinks and we would always end up at her hotel. She moved quite a lot those days and she wouldn't even tell me her name but she told me that she was from Crocus. I only found it out when you guys brought her here after that night when we went out."

From the corners of his eyes he could see his brother directing a sneer at him but Gray decided to ignore it. He waited for a while, hoping someone would say something but they remained quiet and he continued. "Look, I don't really know about her but I've always liked her ever since then so I put up with whatever she wanted to do. I know what I did was wrong but we still continued meeting each other behind your backs, plus she told me to keep my mouth shut about it and pretend that we don't know each other until that night at Natsu's party."

Jellal spoke first. "So that's why. I'm quite surprised. I mean, I never see the both of you talk to each other until that morning after Natsu's party. I thought it was weird how you just hit off overnight."

"Didn't know you had it in you, Gray." Gajeel commented.

"Me neither. I guess it just happened but apparently I developed feelings for her but well... things got bad." Gray had a sad look on his face.

"It's going to be all right. We'll find Lucy tonight." Levy said, trying to comfort him.

"I'm not saying I completely approve, especially at how it all started but we'll get to it eventually. For now we have to find her." Laxus said in a serious tone and Gray nodded at him, muttering a small thanks.

"Oh," Mira suddenly tensed up and looked at Gray, "what are you going to do with Juvia?"

The boy grimaced and told them what happened earlier that night before he arrived. Juvia was still their friend, a part of their circle and much as possible, they all want to keep it that way.

"Don't worry, Gray," Cana said with a grin, "we'll make sure she behaves." The girls nodded.

"Alrighty then! Let's go party!" Natsu said and pumped his fist in the air.

The group finally arrived at the club, laughing as Natsu and Gray's bickering ended. Erza nearly threw them out of the car window on their way but Jellal managed to calm her down by promising that he would buy her a cheesecake tomorrow and Lisanna almost threatened that he would break up with Natsu if the fight continues which made Gray as the winner, wearing a smug look on his face. Knowing that he couldn't say a word, Natsu only stuck out his tongue at Gray who sniggered like an asshole behind him but Gajeel managed to hit the back of his head starting another fight until Laxus, who got annoyed at how loud they were, threatened to tie them up in a chair and electrocute them himself. So the boys finally behaved, pouting and murmuring cuss words under their breaths.

It was still quite early but Cana was adamant to leave so she could look out for Lucy but the rest knew that it was only an excuse so she can drink early. Also, she had been fronting on her phone non-stop. over to her, nudging her side.

"Is Bacchus coming?" Mira giggled with a sly look on her face.

"How did you know?"

"So I'm right! Levy and Lisanna, pay up!"

Cana blanched. "Really, Mira?!"

Mira only looked at her with an innocent face as both Lisanna and Levy handed her the money with groans. The group found a good spot and opened a tab, as usual.

"Is Loke here yet?"

"Where's Juvia?"

"That damned drunkard isn't even here yet!"

"I hope Lucy will come."

They complained, craning their necks and searching the place thoroughly for the people missing. They were a strong group and even if they always bicker and taunt around, they will always stick together. One's problem is the whole group's problem. One's joy definitely becomes everyone's joy. That was how they were. Like a big, strong and loving family that was filled with warmth. They protect each other and face challenges head-on. Nothing can stand against them, not even Lucy's stubbornness and Juvia's antics.

Their first round of drinks finally arrived and some of them scattered on the dancefloor to keep an eye out for their friends who wasn't there yet. Soon enough, the club was being swarmed with party-goers who came in to drink, dance, hook-up and have fun. An hour and a half passed by before they gathered back again at their spot to rest for a while and chat when Cana suddenly stood up and left.

"Five bucks and she's coming back with Bacchus."

"Everyone will win."

Sure enough, Cana arrived with him in tow, his face flushed from the alcohol. "Hey everyone. Found Lucy yet?" He asked.

"Nope."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure she'll come. The night is still young." He grinned, seeing the hopeful look on their faces. The group invited him for a round of drinks and Bacchus was more than glad to take them on it. Cana wanted to challenge him into a drinking contest but Laxus reminded her that they don't have the time for silly drinking games. Cana only pouted at him and dragged Bacchus to the dancefloor.

The party was at full swing. Lisanna and Natsu joined the dancefloor along with Lyon, Gajeel and Jellal since the girls decided to stay. Just then, Lisanna spotted Loke and shouted out to get his attention. It was noisy, the music blared on the speakers but the sound of his name being called reached his ears and he turned, seeing a familiar white-haired girl. Loke grinned at her and walked over. Behind him, three people trailed along. Laxus, Lisanna and Levy recognized the short girl and the serious looking guy, having met them a few days ago. As they neared, Lisanna's eyes popped when she saw the girl hiding behind Rogue.

"Lucy?!" She gasped and all heads turned. "Oh my god! It really is her!"

They almost didn't recognize her. Mira quickly got her phone and sent the others a group message. Gray tensed on his seat, his eyes wide. He couldn't believe it. It really was Lucy despite how she looked. As the new arrivals finally reached the table, Levy leaped out and pulled Lucy into a tight hug. Lucy froze for a couple of seconds and pulled away from her embrace. Lucy looked at them and offered a small smile.

"Hey guys. I'm back."

**TBC**

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><p>There. I hope it's all right. More to come on the next chapter! Please R&amp;R, guys. Until then! :)<p> 


	16. Until We Bleed

Okay. I'll be honest. I really had a hard time writing this chapter. Some things were just really hard for me to figure out and on top of that I still have an exam waiting for me in a few hours. I don't know why but I hope it turned out just fine.

Also, the second flashback was inspired from the song 枝 by The Black Horn.

Lastly, I'm flying to Manila City tomorrow morning to meet some people and head out straight to Cambodia by night for a week-long vacation. I'm going to be busy and I won't be able to update as much as I want to BUT- don't worry. I will still update. What are coffee shops for? :)

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER FIFTEEN<strong>

**UNTIL WE BLEED**

**FLASHBACK**

_Lucy woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. Eyes still closed, she reached for her phone on the bedside table and placed it on her ear, not bothering to check who was calling. "Hello?" She asked, her voice groggy from sleep. _

_"Hey, Luce." _

_Her eyes snapped open when she recognized his voice. He was the only person who called her Luce. More than a month had passed by since she last heard from him. He had been away and nobody had any idea where he ran off to. _

_"S-Sting?" _

_A dry chuckle reverberated from the other line. "Yeah, it's me, Luce." _

_Why now? Lucy tried to slow down the racing thoughts inside her head as the silence seeped through between them. _

_"Were you sleeping? Sorry for waking you up. I-I..." she heard him sigh, "I really missed you, Luce." _

_Lucy wasn't able to stop the tears that fell down from her eyes as her chest hurt from the emotions that coursed through her. Biting her lip, she let out a small whimper but her sobs escaped from her lips. "It's all right." She managed to choke out and wiped her tears but they continued to fall. _

_"I'm sorry. I never should have called you. Please stop crying, Luce. I made a terrible mistake and I don't deserve your forgiveness." _

_She didn't know what to say. Instead, she calmed herself down. "I know. It's fine." _

_"It's not fine, Luce. I've been a jerk. You deserve to be happy. I'm really sorry, Luce. I really am." She heard him hesitate for a while. "Move on, Luce." _

_She felt her world crash. "No. Sting. Please. Don't." She sobbed harder. After being gone for a long time and after finally hearing his voice again, it would only come to this? _

_"Goodbye, Lucy. I hope can forgive me, even as a friend." _

_Before she could say something, the line was cut off. His words lingered in her ears over and over again. She didn't want to understand what just happened, she didn't want to accept it. It was too sudden, his call had been to sudden. _

_"How dare he call?!" She screamed out in a wail, her tears unstoppable. "How dare he call when he knew I needed some peace of mind?! How dare he say he missed me?! He's forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget him?!"_

_She felt as if he was there, watching her being ripped to shreds, laughing she she bleeds. She felt as if she just died on the inside, she felt cold. That night became the longest time that she cried._

* * *

><p>"Lucy?" Yukino's soft voice broke the silence, biting back her tears. She haven't seen Lucy for a long time and finally knew what Loke meant when he said that she changed. She wanted so bad to hug her friend but stopped herself.<p>

"It's been a while, Yuki, Rogue." Lucy said. She didn't know if she should smile but she was aware that her lips were only moving and her face blank. Loke came to the rescue and motioned for her to sit beside him.

"How have you been, Lucy?" Rogue said, his face expressionless.

"I've been fine, I guess," she said, faking a smile. "How are you both?"

"We're good. I'm really glad to see you." Yukino said, smiling at her friend. Lucy finally relaxed after seeing the look on her face. Yukino had always been soft-spoken but it's hard not to relax around her. The food arrived since the trio ordered upon arriving. Lucy was surprised when she saw a plate of fish and chips in front of her.

"I... I took the liberty of ordering for you since I know you love fish and chips so much." Yukino said as they started to eat. Lucy wasn't really hungry but she didn't want to offend her friend either so she thanked her and started to eat at a slow speed, almost picking on her food.

"Are you coming with us to the party, Lucy? Lyon told me he gave you the ticket." Loke asked her.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I have to stop running at some point, right?"

"Your friends are really nice, Lucy but we met only a few of them and your cousin too."

"Yes. They are."

This has to be the most awkward dinner that she ever had. Lucy was aware that Yukino was making it easier for them. She almost felt guilty at her lack of emotions. How can they still treat her so well after she pushed them away?

"Why are you doing this?" She asked directly, making everyone stop eating. "I mean, after what I did I don't deserve to receive this kind of warm treatment from you two."

Rogue looked at Lucy. "We came here for a reason. It's been ages, Lucy and we both forgave you a long time ago. We don't need an excuse from you. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here, right now, with us."

"He's right, Lu," Loke said and smiled.

"All right. But I still owe you both an apology so I'll say it now," she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for just pushing you away like that. Believe me it wasn't my intention but I needed space and I didn't want to burden you anymore."

Rogue sighed. "I guess Sting rubbed off on you, huh. You're just like him"

Lucy froze at the mention of his name but ignored it anyway. "So, what did you come here for?"

"We came to see you, of course and uh... there's something else." Yukino said, looking at both boys to save her.

Lucy mentally prepared herself. Nothing could be any more worse than the hell that she's going through, right? She looked at Rogue, pinning him to explain who nodded.

"You know me, Lucy. I don't dilly-dally," he started. "So I will be direct. What Yukino said was true. We did came here to see you after Loke told us that he was coming back and the reason why we wanted to see you was because we wanted you to know that we forgive you and that whatever happens, we are still here for you." Yukino nodded when Lucy looked at the girl.

"And what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"After Sting's funeral, his mother and I talked. She asked me if you were okay since you weren't at his funeral and she was really worried about you. Then she eventually told me how he died. I know that you had been blaming yourself, that you felt responsible for his death but trust me, Lucy. It was never your fault in the first place. Do you remember why Sting disappeared for more than a month?"

He paused for a moment and Lucy nodded. Of course, how can she forget? She tried her best to erase the memories but the more she tried, the more she cried. For more than a month she suffered alone, hoping he come back and knock on her door, hoping he would call... and call he did but the outcome dwindled into a bitter moment that broke her.

"It wasn't worth remembering but unfortunately I do." Was all that she managed to say, sadness gleaming on her eyes. Loke managed to find her hand under the table and gave it a comforting squeeze. She held back his hand as if trying to find strength in warm hand, as if it was some sort of lifeline that will keep her alive.

Rogue knew that he had to continue but he wondered briefly if it was doing the right thing. He started it so it's only a must that he must see it through until the end. If he couldn't do it, who else will? Sure there's still Loke and Yukino but he had decided to take the task of breaking it down to Lucy since he was in the proper position to do so. He recalled back his conversation with Sting's mother, he remembered how worried she was for Lucy. She had been like a daughter to her and all this time she had been wanting to see Lucy again. But telling Lucy everything after she just disappeared because of a breakdown would be too much for her. It might even strain her or make her want to leave again.

Lucy noticed his hesitation. "It's okay, Rogue. I can handle it."

"Sting didn't run away, Lucy. Why he took off without telling anyone had something to do why he died."

* * *

><p>Gray couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her. She looked fine but every time the lights would hit her face, he would spot the subtle differences that was covered by her make-up. Is it even possible for someone to change so much over a span of days? He noticed that she was thinner, her soft, plush cheeks were slightly gone, her hair was no longer vibrant, and her chocolate-like eyes were dull. He wondered if the girl had been eating properly or if she had been at least taking care of herself. Lucy seemed almost to him.<p>

"Well, look who came back from the dead." Laxus said and opened his arms. Lucy went over to him and succumbed into his embrace, realizing once again how much she missed him, how much she missed her friends and for once, she felt like she was glad that she was back.

"I'm back, Laxus."

_Lies. Lies. Lies. _

The older man kissed her forehead. "Don't go disappearing like that again, kid. You hear me?"

Lucy nodded and Laxus released her. They joined the group round the table when Lucy felt someone still looking at her. She glanced up and met Gray's eyes but she quickly avoided his penetrating gaze as she felt her body heat up and then grow cold again. The rest finally arrived, with her Cana on the front line, and soon enough Lucy was tackled with hugs.

"Geez, Lucy. You know how to make me worry!"

"Sorry. I didn't know what I was doing."

_Lies. Lies. Lies. _

"What are you talking about, Cana? She's here right? And in one piece!" Natsu grinned, winking at the blond.

"Natsu's right! Now, let's drink this night away!" Levy said cheerfully as Gajeel ruffled her hair, making her pout at him and complained that it took her a long time to fix it.

Lucy just watched them, a small smile crossing her lips but the sudden change of scenery was too much for her. The crowd wasn't helping either. Being alone for quite a while then suddenly finding herself surrounded by loud people was overwhelming that she started to panic a little on the inside. She looked at the table and found bottles of beer and some vodka shots. She sighed and turned to Laxus.

"I'm heading to the bar. I'm not really a vodka girl."

The man nodded as she stood up. "Put it on my tab."

Lucy stood up and left, telling Yukino that she'll be back soon. Once she was gone, Mira eyed Gray.

"Well? Aren't you going to follow her?"

He looked confused for a moment and suddenly jumped up, and made his way towards Lucy's retreating figure.

"Pussy!" Natsu shouted back at him and sniggered.

"Leave him be, Natsu." Lisanna reprimanded him and he only rolled his eyes at her.

Juvia arrived and found them and looked at Yukino and Rogue who were both chatting along with the rest of them. Mira noticed them and introduced her to them.

"They are Lucy's friends from Saber along with Loke. I'm sure you've met him before."

Juvia only raised a brow when Yukino held out her hand to her. Yukino bit her lip and withdrew it, embarrassed.

"Juvia!"

"It's fine, Cana. I'm used to people like... ahem... her." Yukino said as some of them sniggered, even Laxus covered a laugh with a cough.

"You really are, Lucy's friend, Yukino! A girl with a backbone!" Cana grinned at her while Juvia pretended that she didn't hear anything and plopped herself beside Lyon.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_Lucy finally went back to school, having dried out all her tears. She was surprised to see that Sting came back as well but he barely talked to the rest of them and instead, he was always with Minerva and some other people that she didn't know. The others were confused for a while before Lucy finally decided to tell them about his phone call. _

_Loke got mad and wanted to talk some sense into him, meaning that he wanted to fight him, but Lucy stopped him. It didn't matter anymore, she said. We already broke up, she said. Loke decided to respect her wishes and made sure that Lucy was always with him so he can keep an eye out for her. He was still worried for his friend. A week passed by when the group decided to go out after a long week of exams, only to find Sting with some other people from Sabertooth. _

_He approached them and Loke tensed beside Lucy but she pulled him back and told him to calm down. _

_"Can I talk to Lucy?" He asked. _

_"Nice try, Sting." Loke spat at him. _

_"It's fine, Loke. I'm sure he won't do anything. I'll call you if anything happens." _

_"Are you sure?" _

_Lucy nodded and followed Sting outside the bar. They walked in silence for a while until they reached a small night time park a block away. Lucy sat on a bench, facing a small pond as its surface reflected the full moon. Sting sat beside her. The first thing that she noticed was the distance between them. They were side by side by it seemed as if he was sitting on the next bench. It made her realize how they are now as if what they used to be was something but a memory of someone else's. _

_When Sting told her to move on, Lucy didn't. That wasn't what she planned. What's wrong with loving someone from the sidelines? What's so bad about an unrequited love? There was nothing wrong with loving someone who no longer feels the same way about you and Lucy was contented enough, just as long as she can still him. She wasn't selfish and she knew that things always come to an end. It's just that their end came a little too soon. She didn't want to blame him either. How can you make your heart feel something that it won't? _

_"How have you been?" _

_Lucy was startled, forgetting that she wasn't alone. She smiled without looking at him and fixed her gaze on the pond. "I've been, well." _

_Every now and then, a tiny ripple would disturb the surface of the pond and she would see orange and silver glitter from the underneath. How she wished she was a fish. Do they have feelings? Are they like humans? Are they weak? Do they shed tears? _

_"You know, Lucy," he said and Lucy noticed another thing again. No more 'Luce'. She was just 'Lucy' now. "I knew that we were going to be separated one day and it's the only sort of thing that I know I can't stand to grieve." But she cut him off before he can continue_

_"People forget, Sting. Soon enough we will even forget the fact that we were here, that we are here." She said with a faraway look on her face. She wanted to look at him but she was scared at what she might see. She was afraid to look at what may surface on his eyes. Maybe people's eyes in general are just like the pond in front of her. You won't know what may surface. Sometimes you'd see a fish or two. But what kind? What color? What size? And the question is, why would they come out, only to go back in the dark once again within a blink of an eye? _

_"Hey, Sting," this time, she turned to face him and saw that he was looking at the pond like her. "Tell me, are we weak because we shed tears? Or are we weak because we can be killed by our feelings?" _

_He closed his eyes for a moment and hung back his head before opening his eyes again. He looked at the sky as if he was searching the heavens for an answer with his orbs gleaming like the surface of the pond from the blessing of the full moon. But the heavens never talk back. Even the stars and the moon. He found the answer in the silence of the night and in the gap between the two of them._

_"We should go back, Lucy. Loke might be worried."_

* * *

><p>Lucy composed herself after ordering a glass of Sapphire Collins. Beside her, she heard two girls giggling over something and she can't help but feel as if their laughter was directed at her, mocking her. Her drink arrived and she decided to stay there for a while, almost thinking that she liked her own company better. Then her thoughts drifted back to her conversation with her old friends over dinner earlier that night. They said it wasn't her fault, it was never her fault but she knew she still played a huge part in his death. She didn't want to believe them. She can't just forgive herself. Just as she was about to get a little too worked up, Gray say beside her as if he was a walking distraction.<p>

"Lucy."

"Hi, Gray. Long time no see." She said, turning to him.

"Yeah. It's been a while," he said, almost not knowing how to continue. "Lu-"

"Let's head back. I don't want to worry Laxus."

"Right." He followed after her, disappointment visible on his face. Was she avoiding him? It was clearly the case but he decided not to think too much into it. When they arrived, everyone saw the look on Gray's face but kept their mouth shut. Lucy sat beside Laxus and swatted Cana's hand when she was about to grab her drink.

"You're so selfish, Lucy."

"And you're greedy."

They talked for a while until Levy and Erza dragged her out on the dance floor along with Yukino who was forced by Lisanna much to her dismay. Cana left to find Bacchus, leaving Juvia and Mira with the boys.

"Can you see them, Gajeel?" Laxus asked as the man grunted in reply. It was protocol for them every time they go out. Like a pack, they would make sure to keep an eye out for their members and would not hesitate to bring down hell if anyone would even dare and try to do something unwanted. Rogue noticed them and was glad that Lucy found such a protective group of friends.

Over drinks, the boys talked and both Mira and Juvia stalked away since they started talking about 'boy stuff'. They weren't really up for dancing so the two girls hit the bar instead and ordered some ladies' drink. Just to keep the conversation going, Mira asked Juvia about her time abroad who was more than happy to tell her about it.

Gajeel noticed something from the corners of his eyes and craned his neck to get a better view. The girls seemed to be fine, dancing and laughing but he saw a group of three guys behind them. He waited for a while, trying to see what would happen until one of them approached Lucy and whispered something on her ear but the girl shook her head. Gray, on the other hand noticed Gajeel and followed his line of sight and saw a guy dancing behind Lucy, inching closer to her and placed his hands on her waist. Lucy stepped away, prying his hands away but the guy whispered something to her again. Gray leaped up from his seat and hastily went to them.

"Look who's jealous," Gajeel chuckled as they boys looked at him. "He can handle it."

* * *

><p>"I said no!"<p>

Gray heard Lucy shout as the girls pulled her away from him.

"Get lost, douchebags." Lisanna said as they kept each other close.

"Oh come on, blondie. Just one dance. I don't bite." This time, he pulled Lucy towards him but before he could make another move, he stumbled on the floor from a blow. Lucy's eyes grew wide and saw Gray with his clenched fist and an angry expression on his face.

"Time to go back." He said, almost an order. The girls knew better than to oppose him and turned to left but this time, he held Lucy back.

"We need to talk."

**TBC**

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><p>Is it bad? What do you guys think? I hope it turned out all right.<p>

This chapter serves as a lever for the next few chapters since things are going to turn quite ... I don't want to spoil the story. HAHA.

Thank you for those who reviewed and like this story. You guys make me happy! :)

Please don't forget to R&R! Until then.


	17. Vultures

I'm finally back! I'm really sorry for not updating as planned. I know I did promise that I'll update but, well, things got hectic. I was in Cambodia for a week and I didn't bring my laptop along with me. I tried updating using my phone but I gave up since it was really hard for me to do so especially with the editing. I'm still on vacation right now, at a different place this time, but I will really try to update everyday like I used to. I hope this chapter is okay since the break kind of messed up my head.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER SIXTEEN<strong>

**VULTURES**

**FLASHBACK**

_Two long months passed by excruciatingly. Lucy kept herself busy with school. If she wasn't at school, she'd be at home, drinking all by herself. When did she turn into such an alcoholic? Somehow, he word 'sobriety' had managed to slipped away from her mind. She was even surprised at her own self but that no longer mattered. Alcohol numbed her pain and it doubled the pain at the same time._

_She knew that things are changing. No. Things are going back to how it was supposed to be before he came into her life. She's going to be alone again, no one would look at her, or give her even the tiniest bit of attention and she didn't want that anymore. She had been alone all her life and now, she's on the verge of going through solitude again. Contradicting herself over and over again, Lucy let the alcohol do all the thinking._

_It was all because of him. He saved her only to leave her on her own. He taught her how to live only to kill her. She didn't want to figure things out anymore. What's the point? She wanted to not decide anything, to not conclude anything, she just wanted to stop feeling and just live like the only word that she knows is "whatever."_

_What else can she do? Where else would she go? Being at school became like hell for her again so she decided to avoid the places where she would likely see him after learning her mistake of making herself believe that she was fine, that she wasn't affected. Those were the days when Lucy started to fool her own self, the days when she learned how to lie without her tongue getting burnt especially when she would see them together... holding hands, kissing in the hallway, laughing together. And just like that, one day 'they' were over. They said Sting broke up with her. They said Minerva broke up with him. Lucy didn't even bother to listen anymore._

_She heard that he had been skipping his classes a lot. He started hanging out with the wrong people. He would go home with bruises and cuts from fighting. He stopped shining like the sun while she can only look at him from the distance. If she would look too long at him, her eyes would hurt so she had to turn away and swallow back her words, her tears, her feelings._

_Then one night he called her again, he was drunk and he sounded like he was crying. He kept apologizing. He kept on telling her that he missed her so much. Over and over again. But Lucy was too numb to talk, too insensible to feel anything until her asked if he could see her again even just once. He asked if he could see her again for the last time. One last time._

* * *

><p>He did not let go of her hand until they reached a 24-hour cafe nearby. Lucy wanted to get away, make up an excuse or something but she didn't try to do anything about it. Maybe somehow she wanted this, to talk to him even if she deemed that it was too soon. She thought she was prepared but well, she thought wrong. But then again, maybe this was better, that Gray took the initiative or else it would probably take her forever before she can talk to him, much less approach him herself.<p>

Gray ordered coffee for the both of them, but no one dared to touch the cups in front of them. She tried to compose herself and think things through as if she had all the time in the world. This was certainly better. The earlier, the better. The earlier she get hurt, not that she wasn't hurting already, the sooner she can get over and away from all these mess. Lucy thought back and realized if she really was in hell. She knew that she brought this all down upon herself and no one else was to blame. At the back of her mind she knew that she half wanted this. Living every single day with a life full of fear and pain sort of made her kind of immune to it. She was scared to know what would happen next, scared to be happy again. Happiness was fleeting and pain, on the other hand, was just there. Always. Hiding, lurking in the shadows. Watching over her, like a vulture, ready to attack and tear up her flesh. Rotten.

"Lucy?"

She glanced at the the source of the voice and saw winter on his face. Cold, harsh and cruel but beautiful underneath. His dark eyes glimmered like snowflakes hit by first rays of the early morning sun. "Yes?"

"Are you finally back? You're not going to run away anymore, right?"

"Sure."

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

Gray finally touched his coffee but Lucy remained frozen on her spot, not moving an inch. She knew what he was going to say anyway. She knew where this was leading to. No room for questions, no room for reasons. She didn't want to hear him say it and the only way was for her to beat him into it. What she saw earlier was proof enough and she wanted to make the first move this time. With her, Gray can never be happy but with Juvia, it's a different story.

"Let's stop this, Gray."

He looked at her, his face held no emotion. She looked back at him but avoided his eyes, blurring it out. She focused on the slight wrinkles in his forehead. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"Let's stop this whole thing between us. It's not worth it, I'm not worth it. Why do you even care? It's not like we're both in love with each other. Our relationship was purely physical and don't tell me that I didn't warn you about it."

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

Gray felt like he was going mad again. He felt like grabbing his hair and pulling them out. Why was she so damn hard? He can't believe that he was hearing the words that he had been too afraid to hear. Was it true? That the more you think about it, the more it will happen? He recalled the endless nights when he would lay on his bed, thinking of all the possibilities, both good and bad, trying to wish that everything will turn out just fine but being with Lucy... is there such thing as fine?

"Just stop, Lucy. Stop lying to yourself, stop lying to me. You're back but look at you, you're still running away from your own self. Aren't you tired of all this dark crap?"

"Dark crap?!" She exclaimed, eyes wide. "You think I wanted this, Gray? You think I'm happy? You're making it only worse by meddling into my business! You only make me weak! You are totally unwanted."

"I'm only trying to help you, Lucy, unwanted or not. I don't care if I look like an idiot by doing so. I want to save you. Just let me."

"Why do you even bother?"

"Because I care about you. Okay? A lot! More than I care about myself or anyone else but you keep on pushing me away, fucking me up in the head. I don't even know what to do anymore."

"Fuck off then."

Who knew that silence was cold? He looked at her and for a split second, wondering if he heard right then he saw the walls around her and they were made of cold, hard steel just like her eyes. He looked hard, searching for even the tiniest bit of hole. He wanted to break her walls down, melt it, anything just to make it disappear.

"Look," she said, "I'm sorry, all right? I really am. Before I can do any more damage, let's stop this. We never should have done this in the first place and I never should have started this... this game with you. It was a mistake. I'm sorry. You don't deserve someone who treats you like shit."

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

I just don't deserve you, Gray. You're too good for me." She stood up, trying hard not to falter. Her knees were weak as she looked at his pained face. She hurt him but this was how it was supposed to be.

"Don't do this to me, Lucy."

His voice was soft and full of emotions that she averted her gaze away from his face. How could hearing those simple words hurt her so much? She was already broken but why does it feel like she's breaking again? Before she could let go of her tears in front of him she decided to fight and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I just did."

* * *

><p>She ran past the line of buildings along the sidewalk, letting her thoughts drift away. The sound of her own voice and her own lies reverberated inside her head while his voice echoed in the background. She went inside a small bar that she found along the way, breathless and headed straight to the counter and asked for something strong, something that burns the throat and heats up the belly and the bartender was happy to be of service. Lucy wanted some chemicals inside her system, craving for crystals both psychologically and biologically but finally decided against it. Soon enough, she knew that she was going to crash and that was why she didn't want to prolong the process.<p>

Lucy didn't want to go back to where her friends were because she was too tired and she can feel the alcohol finally work its magic through her system as if flushing away the traces and the last effects of the cheap ice that she had ages ago. Dizzy, she staggered at the back exit and walked while smoking a cigarette. She wanted to stop thinking and to stop the flow of emotions surging through the depths of her chest. Mentally, she was weary and the alcohol did not do her any better but instead it doubled the magnanimous uneasiness inside her. If only there was a way for her to just achieve thoughtlessness and be in a coma forever, then she'd gladly give up herself as a sacrifice.

She thought of a different world, a different kind of Earthland. A world where she can not screw things up. Everywhere she go, she always fuck things up automatically as if she was born with that kind of talent, as if she was messed up in the head. She makes everything good turn into bad and the bad things, she always know how to make them even worse. Her mind crawled back to Gray and how she managed to turn their situation into chaos. Was there such a world where she can be with him happily? A world where too much happiness was not a problem? Again, she asked herself- what's wrong with being too happy?

Out from nowhere, she felt her heart drop and a cold lump barricaded her throat. It wasn't new for her. She had experienced this discomfort a little too often before and there was no question that what comes next were nervousness and paranoia dancing like ghosts together. Her chest started to thump hard and she felt like crying.

Dark, thick clouds hovered up above like a thick blanket hiding the Earthland from the watchful eyes of the gods. The cold breeze turned up a notch as Lucy continued to traverse the darkened city streets and mocking alleyways. At this point, time itself moved at a different pace, completely different from how it runs through the day.

Already dazed, Lucy found an open pub along the way to nowhere and decided to have another drink. It doesn't matter anymore since it wasn't like she was going to run away again, literally, but it was because she thought she was prepared but her emotions churned and it was because things went according to plan. Perfectly.

The bar only had a few customers left as she made her way to the counter and ordered something strong. She reached four shots until she felt like she was going to collapse. More aware than ever, she tried to make a beeline outside and just walked along the sidewalk. As she walked, she tried so hard not to think about him but what else was there to think about? She tried to shift her thoughts away but ended up thinking about meth, about how much she wanted to snort some right now- to feel the rush, to taste salt, to see her fingers tremble and to feel the binge that comes after. Hell, meth and Gray don't mix.

In the silence of the night, a symphony of laughter made its ways through her ears and like a dog, she followed the sound, leading her towards a parking lot at the back of some cafe and realized that she was already at the deepest and darkest corner of the city where the shadows lurked, where deviants thrive and where the thrill was high. Smirking to herself, she made her way to where they were and her nose picked up a good smell. Lucy, now bolder from the alcohol, joined their ganja session that she didn't even realize that she was on the verge of dripping wet from the drizzle. For a long moment things slowed down and the time died, becoming an illusion. The things around her blurred and reality slipped by through the gaps between her slender fingers. Now it was over, perfectly over and she had nothing more to lose, nothing left to give- empty and dry. It was the perfect time to die. She laughed at her stupidity but somehow it made sense to her. With nothingness comes no fear, a complete numbness. No pain. No more human feelings. Just a throbbing sensation that surpasses the high of meth or any other drug. Maybe, just maybe, if she dies she'll see Sting again. She'll see his bright smile that equals the golden rays of the sun and dying might be the only road to redemption. Maybe dying would be the only way for her to forget that she ever met Gray.

* * *

><p>When Lucy left, he remained seated on his chair, dazed and angry at himself at the same time. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? He was at loss, not knowing what to do, not understanding why Lucy had to lie. Can't she just trust him even once and let him carry half of her burdens? He knew that he didn't want to give up that easily. Seeing her smile was worth all the trouble and being able to kiss her again would be like winning a competition for the luckiest man on Earthland. But just like that, she ended 'them' before they were about to start something.<p>

He decided to leave the place and headed at The Rooftop. He didn't want to go back to the club since she might be there and facing her after she just pushed him away was the last thing on his mind. He needed the alcohol to dull his senses but he knew that there was no need for him to be reckless. He felt so lost and hurt and wondered if losing her was a good thing. No more problems for him, no more confusions, no more heartaches. Maybe he was better off with Juvia but he didn't want to be miserable with her. He was aware that Juvia's feelings for him was still the same, unwavering but he just couldn't find any way to reciprocate her feelings. The girl had been too kind to him even if he hurt her before.

When he arrived at The Rooftop, Gray headed straight to the bar counter and found Bob. The bartender gave him his usual drink and lingered for a while since business was quite slow and he wasn't busy. The older man noticed the look on his face and sighed, knowing that it had something to do with Lucy.

"I know that kind of look. Working here, I've seen too many faces and saw different kinds of expressions but it doesn't take a genius to figure out which is which."

Gray looked up at him, confused. He had too much on his mind that he didn't bother to think what the older man had meant. Bob sighed and looked at him in the eyes. "You know, if it hurts too much, all you have to do is step back, take a look at the things around you in a different angle. You might find a thing or two, a reason to stay, to fight and if all else fails, try again."

"What are you tryin-"

"It's Lucy, right? I can see it in your eyes. I've seen the faces of people who are in love, of those who were hurt by love. I've worked here too long, kid. Maybe someday you'll understand."

"Then, what do you see in me?"

Bob chuckled at him as he took his empty glass and refilled it once more. He thought for a while and looked at the boy in front of him. It was all written in Gray's face and in his eyes. Pain. Frustration. But above all...

"I see hope."

**TBC**

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><p>There you go. Thank you for those who reviewed the last chapter.<p>

Please don't forget to R&R.

So, how do you think so far? I'd be glad to hear from you guys. Until then.


	18. The Things I Want You For

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER SEVENTEEN<strong>

**THE THINGS I WANT YOU FOR**

Slowly, her eyelashes fluttered upwards along with her heavy eyelids. Still drowsy, her gaze fell straight on an unfamiliar light blue curtain that covered the window. Lucy sighed when she realized that she had done it again- apparently, for some unknown reasons, she had spent the night on a hotel room. Again. Lying on her side for a while, she began to feel pain all throughout her body but what's bothering her was the soreness on her core and along the inside of her thighs. Slipping the covers away from her body, her eyes widened when she saw that she was stark naked underneath. But that wasn't all. What she saw next made her heart beat fast.

She noticed that there were bruises on the sides of her hips and on her inner thighs, there were small bruises as well- no. There were hickeys. She groaned loudly and tried to recall what the hell happened to her and how she got here but unfortunately, she could not remember anything, thanks to her blackouts. Lucy looked around the room until her gaze fell on a note by the pillow beside her. With shaky fingers, she took it and began to read a messy scribble of words. On the bottom part of the note, a name was written. _Hibiki? Who the hell-_ her thoughts abruptly came to a complete stop and she cursed out loudly when some of her memories finally came back to her in a messy collage.

Tears threatened to fall out from her eyes as she held them back, fighting away the growing pain inside her chest as she bit her lower lip but she suddenly winced from the pain. Licking her lips, she let out a hiss realizing that she might have cut it again but she had no idea how. Something was definitely wrong. Gathering her strength, she lifted her aching legs away from the bed and rested her feet on the cold tiled floor before standing up. Taking a step, she nearly fell over when a burst of pain shot through from her thigh. Lucy took a deep breath and wobbled her way towards the bathroom with shaky legs, glad to see that there was a full-length mirror when she opened the door. She switched on the lights and gasped as what she saw. She trembled as she inched closer, not believing what she was seeing, what was reflected at the mirror. She knew that it was her but this was just too much.

She dashed back inside the bedroom, not wanting to see her reflection, ignoring the pain with each step that she took and fell on the center of the bed in a fetal position. Her body began to shake but this time, the tears that were all bottle up inside her refused to come out and all that was left was a tightening feeling squeezing her heart. She remembered everything now and there was no denying that it did happen. This was reality and now she was going to face it. She looked around for her bag and found it lying on the floor along with her discarded garments. She took out her phone and saw that it was flooded with missed called and unopened messages. Ignoring them, she called Cana and told her that she will be home soon without explaining where she was and what happened to her.

Lucy finally decided to take a quick shower, wincing but trying to put up with the pain that she felt, and hastily covered the visible bruises with a concealer after she got dressed. When she called the front desk to check out, the woman at the reception desk told her that the room had been already been paid. She checked if she missed anything and took the note left on the bed, shoving it inside her pocket before leaving the room. As she walked along the empty corridor towards the elevator, her thoughts raced back to her last night's fragmented memories. As they filled in inside her head, she decided to let them pass by without trying to fight them off: her talk with Gray, the look on his face, the sadness in his eyes, the scene at the bar, the taste of the hard liquor on her mouth, the smell of the marijuana, the hollow laughter of the strangers she was with, the rain, the blurry face of the handsome guy, the wild one night stand- they all swirled around her head in a series of echoes but what stood out were her throbbing emotions of pain. She had been too scared to get close to Gray but she knew that she hated being alone, she longed for that very feeling to not feel anything at all and the higher she soared, the lower she sunk. There was no hope for her. Not anymore. Lucy realized that she can no longer fight her demons because she knew that they know how to swim.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_A seemingly long week had passed by since he last called her, since he asked if he could see her again. Lucy decided not to tell anyone about it and make the decision of whether or not to see him again on her own. To say that she did not want to see him was a big understatement but she was afraid, she was scared yet the fact that she missed Sting so bad outweighed her fears and drowned out her hesitation. If he would ask her to be his again she knew that she won't be able to say no but that very thought sent a bad feeling inside her. There was no way that he was going to ask her back. She just knew it. _

_Making up her mind, she banished out her uneasiness and finally decided to give in. After all, Sting will always have a special place inside her heart even if he hurt her, even if he left her confused and broken. He was still the guy that she fell in love with, her sun, the very guy that still makes her heart flutter like the wings of a golden butterfly and so, finally, she found herself in front of his room. Without hesitation, she knocked on the door. _

_From inside the room, she heard a shuffle then the doorknob turned. The lights from the corridor filtered in through the crack of the dim-lit room and before she knew it, Lucy was pulled inside as he closed the door behind her. Trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the room, she can only make out his lean figure in front of her. Lucy opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off when she felt his strong, muscular arms wrapped around her, enveloping her into a tight hug. Her body body tensed under his warm embrace, feeling his hot breath trickle down her neck. _

_"What took you so long?" She heard him say as he nuzzled on the crook of her neck, making her shiver. "I was so afraid. I was so scared, thinking that you won't come and see me again, Luce… I-I was so scared." _

_Lucy clamped her mouth shut, not knowing what to say and instead, she wrapped her arms around him, returning his embrace but as she did, Sting pulled away from their split-second embrace and she saw embers dancing with lust in his electric blue eyes. When he let out a sigh, Lucy can smell the liquor from his breath and he crashed his lips on hers, engaging her in a heated kiss. She tried to push him away but his grip on her arms were strong as he pulled her back close to him. Raising a white flag, she succumbed to him and opened her mouth as his tongue danced inside, making her knees go weak. Lucy began to feel a familiar pool of heat gathering on her belly._

_She missed him, she missed this, she missed everything that has to do with him. He was her fury, the ghost behind her head, the person in front of her and she can't do anything about it. Sting became rough as he felt her body heat up against his skin. He carried her towards his bed and devoured her in his hunger as if he was trying to make up for the times that had long ago created a huge gap between them. Both of them knew that they were not together anymore but with the situation, it no longer mattered as they allowed their senses to take over._

_Her body thrashed wildly underneath his searing heated touches as his hands roamed all over her, exploring her body, replacing the coldness that she felt as their clothes one by one flew around, both craving in wanton. It was painful for her, it hurt her but she didn't mind the pain as long as it was from him. She allowed him inside her again. He knew that this was going to be the last time, he knew that he was about to end soon but his love for her overpowered his senses as they spasmed against each other in release as they exchanged body heats. Sting collapsed beside her, feeling her chest heaving up and down with heavy breaths. He felt her move as she rested her head on his chest. Lazily, he stroke her hair as he watched her shadow against the wall. _

_She fell asleep, her eyes closing. Sting bent his head down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry, Luce," he said quietly at her sleeping figure, "I'm sorry I loved you."_

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><p>She was surprised to find Rogue, Yukino and Loke at Cana's when she arrived. At first she saw worry in their eyes and Lucy inwardly sighed to herself. Lately she had been making everyone fuss and worry over her and she didn't like it, not one bit. She excused herself for a moment to leave her bag inside her room and admitted that she missed her own bed when she saw it. Somehow, Cana kept her room clean while she had been away. Readying herself, Lucy went back to the living room where her friends were as Cana went to the kitchen to make them some tea.<p>

"So what's up?" Lucy said, not knowing what to say. Yukino stood up from the single chair and sat beside her friend with a smile.

"We came to say goodbye. Our flight's in a few hours but we should head to the airport in a few minutes." The girl explained and Lucy pulled her into a hug.

"I'm going to miss you," Lucy hesitated for a minute. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I'll try and visit if... I can."

Breaking their hug, Lucy noticed a sad look on Loke's face. She looked at him and he nodded. "Yeah, I'm leaving with them. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"It's fine. I figured you had to leave one day."

It wasn't fine. Not at all. For some reasons she didn't want him to leave just yet since he was her only ally but Lucy decided that it was for the best and she decided to cage in her own selfishness. It was too soon and she wasn't prepared. For a moment she scolded herself for running away. Loke noticed the uncomfort in her eyes.

"Lucy, can we talk for a while?" Loke glanced at the three. "In private."

The blond nodded as he motioned for him to follow her inside the room as Cana decided to talk with the couple who were left. Loke closed the door behind him as they sat on the love seat inside her room, facing the large window.

"Are you going to be okay? Trust me, I didn't want to leave but my life is in Crocus and I had been away for a long time. I hope you will understand."

Lucy nodded her head and offered him a small smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I have the gang with me."

Loke took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "You didn't come back last night."

"Sorry." She mumbled and then heard him sigh.

"I guess things didn't work out between you?" He looked at the girl as she nodded her head and continued. "Too bad. He seemed like a great guy, princess. You have to move on, Lucy. Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you to forget Sting but you have to accept the fact that he's long gone and that it wasn't your fault why he died. He had no control over it."

"I know, Loke. I know. I just... can't. Not now. Not yet. I don't know how to think about it but maybe someday I will. I'll miss you though."

He grinned and pulled her, wrapping his arm on her shoulder as she leaned her head against his. "I want you to be happy. We all want you to be happy. Open your heart again, Lucy. You have such great friends now and I'm sure they will take care of you and that Gray, it seemed like he's really into you. It would be a waste to let him go."

"I'll try."

They stayed like that for a while, engulfed in a comfortable silence before they decided to head back to the living room. The four exchanged their goodbyes and hugs as she walked with them outside, watching her friends leave. Lucy knew that someday she will see them again and maybe it will happen in Crocus but for now she wasn't ready to go back there. She went back inside and headed straight to her room, her eyes teary. Laying down on her soft bed, she thought back on her days with them at Crocus when things were perfect... when she was happy. Lucy wiped away her tears and closed her eyes, feeling her body shiver before sensing a pulsating nausea creep in. The image of a certain drug soon flashed inside her head, consuming the rest of her thoughts. Groaning, Lucy fought off the strong need as her breathing rapidly increased. Fear took over when she realized where this was leading to. Cold sweat began to build up as she tossed and turned on her bed, making it even hard for her to breathe. It made her want to laugh when she realized that her fake happiness was just some kind of a fucked up mess.

Panic. She felt its cold embrace around her as her mind swirled around, churning with no specific direction inside her head. Without even intentionally thinking about it, a certain memory flash-backed. She screamed internally, fighting her thoughts off but they won over her. She remembered waking up inside his room, she remembered the frightening look on his face. She saw him but at the same time she knew that it wasn't him, as if he was possessed. There was fear in his eyes, anger and something else that she couldn't point out. She didn't want to remember all of it now. Especially now.

Hastily, she scrambled out of bed and left her room. "I'm going out for a bit," she said to Cana who only grunted in response without tearing her eyes away from the television. Lucy brisked walk out and away in the need to breathe the fresh air outside to calm her raging emotions not minding the physical pain and uncomfort that she felt at the moment. She felt so cold but she was sweating and the rush of the cold wind as she reached the street did nothing but send a frenzied shiver down her spine. The sky was slowly dancing with the darkness as she allowed her feet to do all the walking and it seemed like forever before she reached The Rooftop.

* * *

><p>When the rain finally stopped, Gray pushed his way towards the nearby bench and sat. His clothes were wet and the rain mixed with his sweat. A cold wind blew from the east and he felt his body shiver from the cold. He rested his deck against the side of the bench and ran his fingers through his wet, dark locks as drops of water trickled down. Gray sighed, feeling all battered and tired, and looked up in surprise when he saw that it was darker now. He checked the time and realized that he had been skating non-stop for a few hours.<p>

Last night had been a total mess for him and when he woke up, his hangover made him feel like shit. After resting some more, he decided to go out and skate to free his mind from the turbulence inside his head. Skating made him feel free, it was his only release from the emotional baggage that had somehow collected inside him. Skating while it was raining sure was dangerous but he made sure to be careful and now he felt refreshed but at the same time, he was still in the dumps. He stood up and decided to leave, pushing his way home. When he arrived it was dead silent. Ultear and his mother were out for work and he figured that Lyon was already fast asleep within the confines of his own room. Clutching his deck, he made his way upstairs towards his room and heard the sound of the rain crash down again. He turned the doorknob and opened it, slowly letting his eyes adjust to the darkness as it rested on the floor just beside his bed. His heart nearly leaped out when he noticed a figure and a pair of eyes glimmering in focus. He quickly turned on the lights but he wasn't prepared with what he saw.

"Lucy? Wha-"

A cold lump crashed inside his chest. There, on the floor, she was sitting while hugging her knees close to her chest. She was dripping wet, her hair was messy and her eyes were red, almost puffy. He closed the door behind him as he approached her cautiously, without breaking eye contact. He crouched down on the floor in front of her and noticed that she was silently crying and shivering. He noticed the wound on her lips, the bruises on her arms and some on her throat since they were exposed, standing out in contrast against the paleness of her skin. As he looked at her, her eyes remained hollow and dazed while tears continued to run down as she looked at him. She opened her mouth and felt her lips tremble. Then, without warning, she started shaking uncontrollably and her legs straightened out as she sobbed. His eyes widened when he saw huge blotches of red decorating her white shirt. He moved closer and pulled her into an embrace, rocking the fragile figure back in forth gently.

"Ssshh. It's all right. I'm here now. You're all right. I'm here, Lucy. I'm here."

**TBC**

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><p>There.<p>

Thanks for those who reviewed and stuff.

Don't forget to R&R some more.

Until then!


	19. Satellite Heart

I don't really know why but I kinda sorta feel sad that I'm not getting a lot of reviews. But of course I'm really thankful and happy when I get some once in a while but now I realize what authors mean when they say that reviews motivate them. I don't want to write and do this half-assed and I want to finish this story. Maybe this is just not good enough or maybe I'm just having the blues. Either way, I'll try my best to make this worthwhile for those who are reading this. Thank you so much.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER EIGHTEEN<strong>

**SATELLITE HEART**

A horde demons were winning over her and she was just a one-man army, helpless, defenseless. The fight that was going on inside her head moved down towards her chest and she was alone against them as they rampaged, making her remember the things that broke her down and the things that are continuing to break her down, over and over again on repeat. She wanted to surrender but the thought scared her and running away from the battlefield was all that she could think of but her legs were starting to give out. She was scared to face them, her demons, alone but at the same time he did not want to let anyone in to join the fight. It was her own battle, after all, and she was meant to fight alone.

Thinking it over, she had no one to turn to. Her friends were gone and the rest, well, she just didn't want to let them in. Lucy didn't want them to think that she was weak, a damsel in distress. She was on her own.

Night time.

The world was bathed in black and silver. Time worked differently and for the first time, she didn't feel safe in the comforting darkness. She used to roam the streets when the sun was down, thriving under the stars but now the absence of light was her enemy.

"It's been a while, Bob."

The bald bartender smiled at her and nodded when he returned with a bottle of beer for her. He sighed inside his head when he saw the sad look on her face.

"Yes, it's been a while," he said. "Have you been taking care of yourself, dear? You look so thin."

"I guess."

"Are you okay? You know you can talk to me if you want."

She offered him a small smile and shook her head. "I'm fine. I just need some saving."

"Well, I know an angel who can." He winked at her but he received a frown from the blond. Lucy knew whom he meant. Of course. Who else would he mean? But what he was saying was somehow true. She scoffed at how cliched the situation was but the question was- did she really want to be saved?

After a long while of thinking and drinking, Lucy left The Rooftop, now drunk from the alcohol and from her own raging emotions. When she stepped out and arrived at the almost deserted street a sense of ominous foreboding drenched her soul but she was too slow to comprehend anything. She walked on, with no exact destination, trying hard not to let the alcohol influence her now shaking legs. She didn't know where to go and she had no idea how long she had been walking. There was nothing left for her to do but go on as long as the road stretched on in front of her.

Finding herself in the depths of the city, Lucy spotted a nearby park and rushed her way there, eager to take a rest as her thoughts turned and thrashed all over. She suddenly felt like destroying herself, destroying the root of all the goddamned mess. She knew she had thought of this before but somehow it slipped her mind and now that her destructive thoughts are back, she knew that her demons had managed to penetrate through the walls inside her heart. Sitting down on the bench as the wavering moonlight bathed her, she started to hurt herself, hitting and punching her arms with such strength that she didn't know she had. The alcohol helped numb the pain as she can only manage to feel a slight dullness through her muscles. She knew that no one can see her anyway and she allowed her tears to fall as she continued to hit herself over and over again. But she knew that this was not enough. An idea flashed through her head and even if she knew how absurd it was, she knew that she had to do it. It was the only way now and in order for her to be able to kill her demons, she might have to go down with them. She was going mad.

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><p><strong>FLASHBACK <strong>

_When she came to, she thought that she had been dreaming but the familiar scent of his room filled her nostrils and she knew that it wasn't just a dream. She was here, in his room and she was glad that she made the right decision of seeing him once again. The events of what happened before she fell asleep came through in and sent a deep blush upon her cheeks. But what time is it? Lucy suddenly felt that her shoulders were sore. She tried to move her arms but she wasn't able to. Panicking, she looked above her and saw that her hands were bound by a rope on the headboard. _

_"Sting?" _

_No answer. She could not see through the dark so she tugged hard, trying to break loose from the rope. By then her wrists were aching and she had an inkling that they were red by now. Lucy can hear her heart beating madly underneath her ears. _

_"Sting?! Is this some kind of a joke?" _

_Her question was left unanswered. She wiggled madly, trying to break free but to no avail. She was tied tightly. She widened her eyes, trying to make do with what she can see from the little lights that slipped in through the close curtain. She looked at her body and glad that she was wearing her undergarments and she was covered by a comforter. She didn't know what was happening but then her thoughts were interrupted when she heard something. Moving her eyes to the direction of the noise, she found him sitting on a chair, facing the bed but she couldn't see his face. _

_"What the hell is going on? Untie me, please." _

_Sting remained quiet but then, he stood up and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, coating the room in dark orange that was almost fire-like, before going back to the chair. _

_"Why did you have to come here?" __His voice was cold and harsh._

_"What are you talking about?" _

_"Nothing really," he said and sighed. _

_Her eyes were strained at him as she watched him move and take something from behind him. When she saw what he was holding, she felt a thunderclap ring inside her ears with such intensity. She struggled hard to undo the ropes, not minding the searing pain on her wrists anymore. She desperately cried out to him to unbind her but he remained where he was, looking at her with indifference. For the first time in her life she felt utterly scared, scared at what he might do to her, scared of what he was capable of. _

_Without her knowing it, tears were already falling down from her eyes but tears of what? She had no idea. _

_"Don't worry, Lucy," he said. "You will forget. I will forget. That's how it is, how things work. Humans are weak because we can be killed by our feelings but in the end, we all forget."_

* * *

><p>He waited until she calmed down. He waited until her trembling ceased. Underneath his embrace he can feel how cold she was and her sadness seemed to seep in through within their connected embrace. Lucy was hurting and he hated it. He wanted to take away the pain that she was feeling because he knew that his feelings for her were strong and all that he wanted was for her to be happy. He didn't care if she ended them but what mattered was that she was here now, slowly reaching out to him and he would do anything, everything, just to set things right for her.<p>

"I'm sorry," she said in between her soft sobs.

"It's okay. You're going to be okay," he said as he caressed her head, gently stroking her wet hair.

"No. I'm really sorry. I d-don't know what to do anymore. It was all... it was my fault."

"Ssshh. You don't have to explain. I understand."

He felt her shook her head and he held her tightly. Tears were still falling down her eyes wordlessly. Gray waited for a moment until she finally stopped. He moved a way a little until they were face to face and brought his hand to cup her cheek, wiping away her tears gently with his thumb. He can see the sadness in her eyes and it broke his heart once again. Slowly, he inched closer and planted a soft kiss on her cheeks as she held out to him, clutching his shirt.

"We can talk later but for now, let's get you cleaned up, all right?" He said, brushing the short strands of hair that fell down her eyes. He smiled when she nodded.

Gray stood up and held a hand out to her which she took after a short moment of hesitation. Without a word, he took her to the bathroom and made her sit on the covered toilet as he ran the water for the bath. She didn't say anything and didn't resist him either. She was tired and she was at loss but the tears continued to fall down silently. She knew that she could trust him, this handsome and gentle angel in front of her. Lucy felt like a little girl again but she was glad that she felt safe around him. Maybe Bob was right after all. Maybe she needed him to save her.

Gray turned the tap and the water stopped pouring down. He checked the temperature as he poured some bath liquid all over and soon, the place smelled of mint. He moved in front of her and helped her stand up while her eyes were focused at nowhere in particular. Gently, he lifted her shirt off and one by one he shredded off her clothes in silence until she was naked. He groaned when he saw the bruises and cuts all over her stomach. There were dried blood on some but he decided to keep his mouth shut. Lucy didn't say anything and it was as if she was just a lifeless doll. He eased her into the tub as she sunk down with her knees against her chest.

Gray took a loofah from the shelf, doused it with the water from the tub and gently cleaned the helpless girl in front of him. He took out her arm and gently cleaned them, biting back his emotions when he saw the bruises all over. He continued washing her, taking note of how fragile she seemed. He washed her hair, he washed her clean, as if he was trying to remove the bad things all over her. When he was done, he took her out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her shoulders before drying off the rest of her body.

She wasn't ashamed, she wasn't embarrassed. Not one bit. It was Gray, after all, that was why she let him be. She can feel that he was sincere, that he cared for her and before she knew it she was crying again. Gray wiped the tears away and brought her hands to his lips, kissing each finger lovingly before he proceeded to dry out her arms. He took her back to his room and took out a shirt and a pair of shorts from his closet then helped the girl get dressed. Still in silence, he sat her on the floor by the bed as he combed her golden hair gently before drying them. When he was done, he carried her to bed and laid her down preciously, pulling the covers up to her neck as he sat beside her and stroked her head. She looked up to him.

"Gray?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

He smiled at her and decided to lay down beside her pale figure, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and rested her head on his chest. "I'm not going anywhere, Lucy. I won't leave you even if you tell me to."

With his words, she closed her eyes with a smile on her face, as sleep began to crawl down in, calling her to slumber. In this moment she felt genuinely happy. Happy that he was beside him, happy that he was there with her and thus, she knew the answer to her question. With him beside her, she knew that there was nothing wrong with being too happy. She didn't have the strength to fight off her drowsiness anymore as she snuggled closer to him. Drifting off to sleep, she mumbled softly in his chest as he heard the words that he had long been waiting for.

"I love you, Gray."

**TBC**


	20. Sweet Dreams

Sorry for the late update. I had a visitor last night and we ended up drinking so I wasn't able to post. Anyways, I'd like to thank those who encouraged me through their reviews. You know who you guys are. Really, thank you so much.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER NINETEEN<strong>

**SWEET DREAMS**

He just couldn't fall asleep even if he was tired, now that she was finally with him, now that she just told him that she loves him. But was it really true? Did she meant what she just said? He knew that his ears were not exactly playing tricks on him but he was too shocked to believe her words right before she fell into slumber. Of course, he was more than happy but at the same time it scared him. Gray did not want to chicken out, especially now when he knew that she needed him. Lucy needed him and he would stand by her side- heaven or hell. Day or night.

But it was sort of surreal even if the evidence was right beside him. He knew that he should be overjoyed but with her current state, he could not help but not celebrate inside his head or do a happy flip on his deck. It was too early to assume that things will go smoothly from now on and Lucy being Lucy, she was very unpredictable and hard to figure out. All he knew was that he had to take care of her and he was determined to do so.

He looked at her sleeping face, gently brushing his thumb on her soft and milky cheek, taking note of her steady breaths. She was still beautiful, like a porcelain doll and it made him want to make sure that she'll be handled with utmost care. Sure, she was strong in her own 'Lucy' way but no man is an island, or so they say. He carefully traced her lips and frowned when it hit the swollen cut, thinking what the hell happened but he knew that his questions will have to wait and he won't force the answers out from her. She had been through so much already and he decided to take it easy over her. He stayed like that for a while, relishing the moment of bliss and comfort until he finally fell asleep with his arm wrapped around her protectively as the time ticked away for another day.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

_Her fingers trembled madly while she looked at the foreign object that she was holding. The night was eerie and cold when she found herself inside the public restroom at the train station. Going inside the farthest cubicle, she leaned her back against the closed door and lifted up her white shirt. It was time to decide. She was scared but at the same time, the adrenaline brought upon by her thought of doing something like this pumped her up. She wanted to do it but at the same time she didn't. Making up her mind on certain things just wasn't one of her strong points._

_'I'm just like him now,' she thought. 'Is this how it feels like to actually go mad?' _

_She took out the blade from its cover and carefully slid its bunt side against her skin, shuddering at how cold and reptilian it felt. She wanted to laugh out loud at what she was about to do, she wanted to laugh at how fucking pathetic she looked like but it was now or never. Pain and pleasure. No in between. No mix ups._

_Lucy closed her eyes and she turned the blade and quickly grazed it lightly, tearing her skin. She looked at the thin cut as red dramatically lined up through the invisible gap and damn, it made her feel so fucking good as she closed her eyes, relishing the wonderful feeling of destroying herself. She did it again, this time deeply and boldly, repeating it some more until she felt herself run cold that the knife almost fell out of her grip. This time, she felt the pain as it hurt her. She pulled down her shirt as her blood painted it with scarlet, almost as red as Erza's hair and tucked the knife safely inside her pocket before punching her arms simultaneously again to divert the pain. _

_She asked herself over and over again why it had come to this. Maybe it was because she had been too happy and this was the result of some kind of fucked up karma. Did she really deserve this? The question of drugs came into mind. Before, at the smallest hint of an impending trouble, she would always block them away through snorting ice but now when she moved in Magnolia, the idea no longer appealed to her and the drug had slowly lost its place inside her heart. She didn't want to worry Cana and Laxus anymore and even if her uncle Gildarts wasn't around, she wouldn't dare risk it since if the word gets out, he might send her back to Crocus, to her father. Lucy definitely did not want that._

_Panting, she exited the restroom, covering up the stain on her shirt with her arms as she fled like a phantom in the night. Rain was pouring down, hard and fast, drenching her, spreading the fresh blood stains on her clothes and she almost looked war-torn. The tasteless rain mixed with her salty tears as her feet made their way to redemption, towards salvation. She was running for her life. She was running towards salvation: Gray. She needed him. She wanted him. She did not want to push him away anymore. She wanted to see his face, she wanted to see her angel. _

_Fuck her pride. _

_Fuck her jealousy._

_Fuck everything._

_She decided that this would be her last chance but then again, what she saw did not betray her. Gray was with Juvia. They were together and now she's what? Some sort of a relationship wrecker? As much as she tried to convince herself that she wasn't hurt when she saw them together, the pain that breached in through her walled heart was real. It was there and it stayed, lingering, biting and clawing its way through the defenses of her heart. But what if he was happy with Juvia? What if he was better off with the blue-haired beauty? Juvia was perfect and she was just plain old Lucy with unresolved issues, with a fucked up life. She was a monster, an addict. She hated herself. No. It was close to loathing._

_Lucy realized that she was too weak to go through all of this on her own. She felt ashamed of herself for acting all tough and for acting as if she was invincible. She needed him to need her and he was the only person that she could think of right now and before she completely falls apart, she knew that she had to see him. She needed to. He could fix her._

* * *

><p>"Do you have it with you?" The woman asked as the man grinned in confirmation.<p>

They were inside a coffee shop. At first glance it looked like they were having a date and the people who passed by them can't help but turn their heads to where they were. He was drop-dead gorgeous and she was beautiful. He took out an envelope from his bag and placed it on the table, just beside his coffee. As the woman reached out for it, he quickly slammed his palm on the letter, making the woman draw back her hand in retreat.

"Not so fast." He smirked.

"What do you still want? You agreed to do this." There was annoyance in her voice as she hissed out the words. It won't come as a surprise if they were tinged with venom.

"I did not fuck up. Make sure you won't as well."

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing." She clicked her tongue and glared at him as if he was thinking that she was stupid.

"Damn," he coolly said. "Remember that we are doing this based on my terms."

"I paid you and I was generous. What more do you want?"

He slyly laughed at her in challenge. "I have done my part and you did yours, I know. I got the pictures but in order for you to actually get them, I would like to propose another deal."

"You fucking son of a bitch!" She roared in control, knowing that they were in a public place and creating a scene was the last thing that she wanted.

"Business is business, my dear client."

The woman felt like punching the manipulative bastard in front of him. She thought for a moment, trying to think of a way out. She knew that she fell right into his trap but she knew that he did his job and it was just like what he said. She was not in the mood for games.

"I'll hear you out."

The man leaned on the backrest and crossed his arms in front of him, making him look so dangerously handsome. He smirked at her and pretended to think.

"Well, let's see," he said. "How about you sleep with me then you'll have yourself a deal."

She gritted her teeth, trying to keep cool. Of course it was easy. She wanted to agree right away seeing that he had good looks, he had the body, but he was clearly having the upper hand here.

"Oh. On second thought," he said, cutting through her thoughts. "How about you make her mine instead? Hell, she was a good lay and I kind of have an idea why you made me do this in the first place. Women are such sly creatures. Isn't this good? Treat this like a bonus. I'm the one who's actually being generous here." He chuckled darkly.

"I'm glad you know how to use that head of yours," she replied, catching his drift. Oh, this could actually be good. He was smart and she had to be careful.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Lockser" He handed her the envelope and stood up. "I'll be expecting to hear from you again."

Victory. She was going to win this.

* * *

><p>The morning sun brought him out of his slumber as its heated rays danced upon his exposed skin. Stirring slightly, he felt a weight on his body, pushing him down and the sight of blond greeted his waking moment and made him smile, a smile that could rival a goď's. He slowly broke away from Lucy and pressed a kiss against her forehead but upon the slightest touch, he frowned. She was burning. Gray sat up and examined her closely.<p>

Lucy was sweating profusely, burning but at the same time she was shivering. Her face was pale and her eyebrows were knitted. He patted her gently on the cheek to wake her up. The girl only stirred but kept her eyes closed.

"S-so c-cold."

Her breathing was ragged, almost labored. Gray thought for a while before acting. It must be because she was caught under the rain last night but he noticed that she was having tremors and her fingers were shaking. It was alarming.

"Lucy? Open your eyes. Can you hear me?"

The girl's head moved from side to side and she mumbled incoherent words.

"Lucy?" He called out to her, a little harder this time.

Finally, the girl opened her eyes but she was not looking at him. Her eyes were glazed and diluted as he lifted her up, bracing her with his strong arm but her head hung back. Her body began to shake uncontrollably and it hit him. Being in a family of medics and knowing Lucy's history, he had an idea what this was about. He hissed a curse, hoping that he was wrong.

"Lucy. I'm going to call for help."

"N-no. D-don't... Sting... He... No. Help."

He felt his blood drain. She was having delusions. He laid her back in the bed gently and when he was about to stand up, her weak hand had managed to grab him. He looked back at her as she was shaking her head in agony.

"No. P-please."

"Don't talk, Lucy. I'll be right back, okay? You need help."

"I'm sorry. He... It w-was my fault... Dead... He..."

"No, Lucy. Shit. Don't talk anymore."

Her glazed eyes snapped open and met his worried gaze. Her chest was heaving but a sad smile grazed her pale lips. A tear fell down from her eyes yet she was smiling. Lucy reached out to him and he caught her cold hands, squeezing it gently before bringing it to his lips, planting a soft kiss at the back of her hand. She breathed in and continued to look at him but Gray noticed that it was as if she was seeing someone else. He felt her move her hand away from his grip and placed it upon his cheek.

"Sting?"

"No. Lucy... I'm not Sting."

But she appeared as if she did not hear him. If fact, he knew that she actually didn't. He knew that this was already out of his control and he had to get his mom right away or his sister but what she said next was something that he did not expect and it echoed inside his head over and over again, rendering him unable to move.

"Why did you kill yourself?"

**TBC**

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><p>There you go.<p>

What do you guys think?

I'd be glad to hear from you again guys.

Please don't forget to R&R.

See you on the next chapter!


	21. Everything In Its Right Place

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWENTY<strong>

**EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE**

He had never been so anxious like this. He was agitated and restless, his senses heightened at every minute noise, every single movement. A second felt like an hour and he knew he had to endure every agonizing moment that passed without any news. Sitting on the plastic bench with his head on his hands, he almost felt like threatening the gods inside his head. Gray knew that she was suffering way more than he was at the moment and the thought did not help him calm his wrecking nerves. He felt his veins ticked with each tapping of Cana's foot on the cold hard floor and the overwhelming scent of the disinfectant made him nauseous. He knew that she was feeling the same but they had endure this and wait. Patiently.

As soon as his senses came back, he left the room without a word and called his mom who was by then making breakfast downstairs. He told her what happened, he told her that she was his friend and they went back to his room. When Ultear saw the girl on his bed, she didn't think twice and they rushed her to the hospital. Gray, one the other hand, had no other choice but to call Cana and tell her what happened, leaving the part where Lucy let out the issue about Sting. The brunette came in full speed towards the hospital then Laxus soon followed. They decided to keep this between themselves for now, not wanting to make things worst, knowing full well how the others might react and nobody was in the mood for some over reactions.

Lucy was brought to the emergency room and the doctors proceeded to expunge the last traces of the drugs out from her body but the alcohol faltered out the anesthesia and they had to resort to a stronger dose. She was, after all, going through withdrawal. It sure was a good thing since it meant that she finally stopped binging out and doing drugs but for someone who's actually aware of what it was like, dying was clearly a better option.

When Ul saw the look on her son's face, when she saw how worried her was, she already knew by instinct that the girl was no mere friend as opposed to what he told her. She was clearly more than that. As much as she wanted to be happy that Gray had finally found someone of importance to him, she could not help but worry at what happened especially after meeting her for the first time under such circumstance and not to mention that she was a user. As soon as she was done assisting at the emergency room, she called him in private, outside the hospital and told the rest that they should wait for the doctor to come out and to explain her diagnosis.

Gray followed his mother outside without complaint, knowing that the cat was out of the bag. He just hoped that she won't judge Lucy or tell him to stop associating with her. They found a bench and sat across each other. Gray was afraid to look at her and kept his eyes glued to the ground, looking at the fallen dried leaves as his mother observed him but he couldn't take it anymore.

"How is she?" He choked out, his voice barely audible but she heard him.

"She's going to be okay. It seems like she's strong but she's... Gray, look at me."

He looked sideways, trying to slow down the time before finally meeting his mother's eyes.

"Have you seen the cuts on her stomach?" Ul hesitated for a moment. "Silly me. Of course you have. She was wearing your clothes after all. Now tell me what happened."

"How is she?" He insisted.

Ul sighed at her son's stubbornness and this time, she decided that it was best to come clean.

"Like I said, she's going to be all right but the wounds on her belly was partly the cause of her fever. She's having an infection and from the looks of it, it was obviously self inflicted seeing how clean the cuts were although I'm not quite sure about her bruises. She just got off them so for sure, she's going to be exhausted and would spend most of the time sleeping but I'm afraid that it's not going to be easy."

Gray cringed at her words. How could he miss it? Surely Ul's lying but this was Lucy that they were talking about. Did she really cut herself? What for? He never struck her as the suicidal type but doing drugs fucks you up in the head. He may not know much about the whole drug world but clearly, his mother knew better and he had to trust Lucy in her care. He groaned, thinking just how messed up the whole thing was. Was he too late? Ul sighed again, seeing how he was.

"I'm not yet sure what's going to happen but I have an idea how this will go."

That surely brought her son's attention to her since he looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Cana is her cousin right? But her immediate family must be informed right away given that this is no joke. She had been using drugs for so long and going through withdrawal for a long-time user won't be that easy to overcome. I don't the know what her situation is but she must go through rehab if she wants to get better. She must seek professional help, according to the doctor, and by that I mean that she must be turned over to a psychiatrist."

"Lucy."

Ul raised an eyebrow at him.

"Her name is Lucy."

Ul smiled. "I'm sure it is."

* * *

><p>That did it. It was the very last straw and Laxus finally decided to call Gildarts, ensuing a fight with Cana. He knew that he was doing this for Lucy and he would not give a fuck even if it made him the bad guy. Clearly, Lucy needed to grow up and start taking responsibility for her actions. He was at home, enjoying breakfast with his grandfather, Makarov, when he got a call from the brunette, telling him to go to the hospital. Laxus made her explain what happened and before he left, he called Gildarts who promised to take the next flight back to Magnolia.<p>

When he arrived at the hospital, he found Cana and Gray sitting side by side near the emergency room, both of them looking grim. He tried to make Gray explain but the boy was not in the shape to even hold a proper conversation and so Cana did all the explaining. At loss for words after Cana's messy speech, the trio sat in a nerve-wrecking and painful silence until Ul appeared from the ER and called Gray. As soon as they were gone, Cana's tears began to fall. Laxus did not move an inch as Cana tried her hardest to muffle out her sobs.

"I told Gildarts."

Nice move, Laxus. What a good way to console a weeping woman. Cana snapped her head and looked at him, as if he was joking.

"Oh no, you did not."

"He's on his way here."

"You should have asked me first!" She almost screamed out a him, clenching her wrist.

"We have done nothing but tolerate her, Cana, and we both now that she's already a druggie," he said with a low voice, refusing to meet her eyes. "Enough is enough. She had been out of school for too long already and what do you think's going to happen if this won't end? Have you seen her? She's all skin and bones! If you really care for her then you'll understand why I'm doing this. If you want her to get better, you should have told your father a long time ago and that damned old man did not even bother to come back even if he knew that Lucy was already here. God knows what he's been doing on such a long business trip. I'll kill him if he's chasing skirts again."

Cana pondered his words over, knowing that Laxus was actually making sense. Sure, Gildarts was a cool dad but when things get serious, he becomes a different person. Cana was scared for her cousin, scared at the unknown possibilities that may result from what was happening. She knew how much Lucy hates her father knowing how well what he was like and if this news might reach him, there was no doubt that he will take her away and Cana didn't want that to happen.

"It's not just your fault," the blond man said. "I'm partly to blame as well and that's the reason why I'm setting things straight right now and oh, you should probably talk to that Bacchus guy."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm still not that sure but he probably had an idea about Lucy's habits. How else would she associate with a shady man like him? If I'm right then I guess it's safe for me to conclude that he could be her dealer. I'm not saying that he is but to be safe you should ask him that is, if you're willing to help your cousin."

Cana wiped away her tears and felt cursed. It was weird, at first, since Lucy was a stranger when she arrived in Magnolia and knowing that Bacchus was really kind of shady like what Laxus said, then it made the perfect sense. Damn that guy. She made a mental note to talk him as soon as things would settle down. Just then, the door of the ER opened and a doctor came out.

"I'm looking for Ms. Hearfilia's family. I'm her doctor"

Cana stood up and approached him as Laxus followed in suit. "I'm her cousin. My dad will be here soon. How is she, doctor?"

"I'm Wendy Marvel but you can call me doctor Wendy. She's going to be okay now. We moved her to a private room and you'll get to see her soon but she'll be out sleeping for a couple of hours. I'd like to talk to you in private."

Laxus raised an eyebrow, sizing up the doctor in front of them. She looked too young and cute to be a doctor but it was better than nothing. He reminded himself not to judge the book by its cover. "I'm going too."

Doctor Marvel hung her head and looked at Cana, who nodded. The doctor led them to a private room down the hall and told them to sit on the couch as she sat on a chair across them. Fatigue was visible in the young doctor's face but she was a professional and she knew how to deal with it.

"Clearly you know that she's going through withdrawal. Are you both aware of her…" she cleared her throat. "Are you both aware of her habits?"

The pair looked down, guilty. The doctor took this a sign that they were aware and sighed. She wanted to scold them but that had to wait. First things first.

"The next few days isn't going to be easy and she will have to stay here in the hospital until I get to talk to your father before I can make a decision but for now, I'll have to contact a psychiatrist. You don't have to worry a thing. Doctor Porylusica is a good doctor. The patient will be in good hands."

Laxus thought for a moment. "What's going to happen to her? What are we going to expect?"

"She'll be irritated in the next few days, I assure you and she'll be having cravings for the drug so we have to keep her clean. Night sweats and hallucinations are to be expected as well, mood swings, meth bugs and I should warn you, she'll probably have suicidal thoughts so it's best if you keep watch over her."

"Wait. That's too much," Cana shook her head. "Suicidal? What do you mean?"

"Yes. Suicidal. If she's already suffering from depression, the drug did nothing but alleviate it and because of the drug's effects, due to some neurobiological factors, there's a high risk for suicidal tendencies. In fact, she already had them. The cuts on her stomach were clearly self-inflicted although from how I look at it, it was just some sort of a result from being self-destructive. Psychology is not really my field but we'll just have to wait until doctor Porlyusica can talk to her."

Cana only nodded her head and for the first time in a long while, she finally understood what sobriety means. Doctor Wendy smiled at them and stood up, indicating that they were done and soon, the both of them followed her outside the small room. She called out a nurse and instructed her to lead the way to where Lucy was at the moment.

"If anything happens, don't hesitate to call me or the nurses on duty in the ward. Don't worry too much, I'm sure that she'll be alright. I'll see you both soon." With that, the petite doctor left as Laxus and Cana opened the door to her room. When Cana saw the lying figure on the white bed, she felt her heart clench. Cana rushed over to her cousin and took out her pale hand from under the sheet, sandwiching it between her own warm hands.

"You're going be alright, Lucy."

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

"_Sting didn't run away, Lucy. Why he took off without telling anyone had something to do why he died."_

_The noise within the restaurant was suctioned into a black hole as his words filled the space. She did not want to believe Rogue. She did not want to believe the words that he just said. She kept her mouth close, knowing that Rogue was not done yet. She looked at him wanting him to explain further without leaving her a room to breathe but at the same time, she did not want to hear anymore. Lucy felt like telling him to shut up but it was impossible since she knew that this was hard for Rogue. He was direct as ever, neither sensitive nor insensitive but the truth was a hard pill to swallow. _

"_Sting was a diagnosed bipolar but that wasn't all. He was suffering from depression and had been taking medications to keep his emotions at bay. I know of this because he told me so. When he met you he stopped taking his meds for a while, seeing that there was no need and that he wanted to get better for you without relying on his medications but somehow, it took a toll on him and he went out of control that's why he did those things. He felt bad about it and decided to leave for a while to get better but he ended up pushing you away, thinking that you were probably better off without him. Like I said a while ago, he didn't run away to hide because of what he did. I only heard it from his mom after his funeral but apparently, he was in a mental institution out of town to somehow recuperate but he wasn't able to."_

"_But that was no reason for him to cheat on me! He could have told me about it, he could have been honest with me but instead he kept it and I had no idea what was happening. Over and over again I kept on asking myself if I did something wrong!" _

"_You don't understand, Lucy. Like I said, it was completely out of his control. Sure, he could tell you, but he was afraid. He was afraid that you might not understand and that you'll be scared of him. He didn't want you to worry. His condition worsened and it was beyond him. He knew that he was falling down too soon that's why he broke up with you, only he didn't think it through. Hurting you was the only way that he could think of."_

"_..."_

_Lucy looked at Loke who pretended not to notice her. He didn't want to see the look on her face, knowing that she's probably going to break down again once he does. Yukino, on the other hand, tried her best not to cry in front of them. If Lucy was trying to compose herself, then she had to at least make herself appear strong in front of them. The four of them, sitting together, no longer touching the food on the table- each of them were having battles inside their heads. They were in it together but at the same time, they were divided by such thick walls that was hard for them to connect. So near yet so far. So close yet so distant. _

"_How do I make of this? How shall I think about this?" Lucy's voice was low and her head was hung down. _

"_You don't have to think too much, Lucy. Just accept it. Accept that it was never your fault and find it in your heart to forgive Sting but I'm sure that you already did. It's high time that you stop making yourself believe that it did not happen. Stop running away or you'll never be able to move on." This time, it was Yukino who finally spoke up. _

"_We're going back to Crocus soon. You'll be here on your own but don't ever forget that we're still here for you and if things get better, I do hope that you can come back to Crocus and see us… Sting's mom was so worried about you."_

"_No. I don't think I can." _

"_I'm not rushing you. Take all the time that you need to heal. We'll always be waiting for you and once you're ready, we'll stand by you." _

_With those words her control broke as her tears fell down like beads of pearls. Lucy only nodded as Loke squeezed her hand gently, smiling at her. Rogue also had a soft smile on his face and rarely did she ever see him smile. it made Lucy feel warm inside and it almost made her feel like she was actually alive. She can feel the hotness of her blood, pumping through her heart and coursing through the veins inside her body. She bit her lip, knowing that she was lucky to have them as friends even if she denied them a long time ago. She was glad that they were here, with her. _

**TBC**

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><p>Chapter 20's up!<p>

Thank you so much for those who reviewed!

Please don't forget to R&R.

Suggestions are welcomed!


	22. Transatlanticism

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE<strong>

**TRANSATLANTICISM**

The darkness evolved until the whole place was bathed in gray; gray like the color of thunderclouds, deep and full. She knew that she had been sleeping but just then, she felt like she woke up automatically and she was transported in another place but where exactly? There were no trees, no grasses, no buildings, no lamp posts, and the silence that enveloped this strange looking space was so loud that she swore she can almost hear it loud and clear. She felt cold and wondered how, why? There was no wind, no air but she can breathe calmly and she was suddenly aware of the ground down beneath her. She looked at her feet and saw that she was barefoot, the soles were raw against an asphalt road that stretched on in front of her until its end reached the sky.

'Have I died?' She asked herself but shook her head. No, this isn't what heaven's supposed to look like. The whole space was vast, covered in a thick mist of fog and gray. Looking up above her, there was no sky- just an empty space that seemed to go on forever. There was no sun, no moon, no stars. Was it daytime? Or nighttime? She couldn't decide. It was dark, but not quite; Just a little before dusk and dawn combined and the whole place was empty like herself, empty like her own dark, muddled heart. She felt somewhat at ease and thought that maybe she can live in this unknown world, in this gray colored space for the rest of her life. Maybe this place was better than Earthland. Maybe this is where she can truly belong, a place that she can actually call home with no people, no things, no animals, nothing: no other living and breathing creature save for herself. Maybe in here she won't get hungry, she won't have any Earthlandic desires, no sense of attachment to anything and maybe she'll lose her emotions or what it feels like to actually be human but thinking about it, it was also crazy and almost impossible- thoroughly surreal.

'How did I get here?' She asked herself and boldly took one step forward. She looked around her, with no hopes of actually seeing anything or meeting anyone. Step by step she walked on, feeling so free and light on her feet. She didn't want to leave since she had nowhere else to go. If she was dreaming then she decided not to open her eyes nor let go of this dream. Magnolia was too much for her now and so was Crocus. But staying for the rest of her life in this space, like a ghost, could it be possible? She had so many questions about this place, so many thoughts swirling inside her head but for now she'll stay. She'll stay in this place where the all the colors reminded her of him.

Sensing the flow of her thoughts, she finally realized that she was mentally weak. She thought she was strong but that wasn't the case. Maybe a little, but not entirely. She wasn't being strong, she was being defensive. It was her defense mechanisms that had been holding her out for long, keeping her sane to the point of being frigid. As she walked on, she laughed and heard her own hollow voice echo all throughout this unfamiliar endless path to nowhere. She felt almost transcendental, liberated at being able to see things clearly in this place and her revelations weren't over. Yet.

Sure, she had been bad, she acted crazily and always acted out on impulse all the time, giving in to her cravings, grinding her jaws like a madwoman and the walls- the steel walls that she had managed to build over time stood in their glorious strength, keeping away everything. But it's funny at the same time. Funny for her that the fact that it was only one guy who had had managed to break down and destroy everything, earning him the title of the champion, the hero, the savior. He really was an angel. Her angel. Hopefully, forever he will remain.

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><p>A man with a brushed-up orange hair stood with his back against the wall, his arms crossed in front of him and from the look on his face, one wrong word would probably send you flying out of the room's glass window. Gildarts Clive was getting impatient, feeling like he was talking to himself, doing a monologue. He thought that maybe if he tried to talk to the air, it would even respond- but not the pair in front of him. Neither of them uttered a word, nor had the guts to answer his questions. They just sat there, without looking at him, with their throats and mouths dry from not speaking and from the unspeakable tension that clouded inside the room.<p>

"So? Shall we do this the hard way or would someone care to… enlighten me?" Came his low voice, almost sounding like an animal's growl, ready to pounce.

Cana gulped hard, beads of sweat were starting to form on her forehead and unconsciously, she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She felt like punching the guy beside her right now, pissed that this whole situation made her feel as if it was the judgement day. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out and her father only laughed.

"Don't tell me you're both lost the ability to speak? Now, tell me how come little miss Lucy suddenly became Sleeping Beauty? Huh?"

But of course, Gildarts already knew the answer, having talked to the doctor-in-charge before heading straight to Lucy's room. He left the rest of his work to his secretary, Laki Ollieta, then booked a flight back to Magnolia after receiving the call from Laxus. When he saw the boy's name on the screen, he groaned, thinking that it had probably something to do with Cana. His only girl was, after all, always in trouble because of her juice and her wild 'I-don't-give-a-damn' attitude. At one time, there was driving while she was under the influence, then damaging school property, vandalizing- just your typical minor juvenile/rebel level offenses. Nothing serious. But the urgency in Laxus' voice and the mention of Lucy's name made him realize that this was not a minor thing and of course, Cana still had something to do with it, being the older of them two. What's worse was that the girl was actually rushed to the hospital. If something had really, really bad had actually happened to Lucy, god knows what's he's going to do or how he's going to explain it to Jude. Jude. Even the thought of the man's name made his bile rise up his throat.

For once in his life, he had never thought that their relationship as in-laws would turn into something so different and unexpected. They used to be close but after Layla died, Jude became a spiteful and bitter man, cold and cruel, that Gildarts started to feel bad for Lucy. It wasn't only Jude who changed after Layla passed away but Lucy, too, was greatly affected from the loss and the relationship between daughter and father became almost non-existent. When he heard that Lucy finally decided to leave Crocus and stay with them at Magnolia, he was deeply overjoyed but work kept him away and busy and he felt bad that he had to see her, for the first time in a long time, in a hospital.

On his way to the hospital, he thought what could have happened this time. Maybe she got into an accident? Maybe his daughter had something to do with it? Maybe she was stabbed or something or even raped. Raped. He cringed at the thought as he finally entered the pandemonium that was the hospital. Keeping a straight, poker face, he made his way to the information desk and was soon directed in a sitting room. Out of habit, he was almost about to light up a cigarette when he heard someone cough slightly. Gildarts looked up, looking almost like a teenager who just got caught doing something bad. He chuckled.

"Sorry. Sorry. I forgot."

The little girl, aherm, the doctor only nodded her head and watched him as he kept back his cigarette and lighter then finally sat across him, offering out a small hand.

"I'm Dr. Wendy Marvel but you can just call me Dr. Wendy. I presume you're Ms. Heartfilia's guardian?"

Shaking her hand in his large grip, Gildarts nodded and flashed her a smile that made the young doctor blush as they got into business. Hearing the doctor's explanation, he didn't know how to make out about how he felt. He was surprised when he heard that she had been using drugs and that she had been hurting her self. What exactly happened to her and what caused all of these? More importantly, how did she turn into such a person? And to think that Cana had been with her all the time, just what the hell was going on? He was an adult and he had to deal with the situation maturely but when he saw Lucy, lying on the bed looking like a corpse, he sighed in defeat as his own god damned brain decided to make a trip down the memory lane during the time of Layla's last days.

At the sight of him, his own daughter and Laxus almost jumped out of their seats, taken off guard that he had finally arrived. He was sure that they were expecting him but their worry over Lucy had probably kept their thoughts distracted. He can understand them because he was afraid as well. If word got around about Lucy's 'little' mishap and if possibly, the news might reach Jude, then who know what's going to happen anymore. For one, he didn't want to give her up back to him but he was still Lucy's father. Surely, he still has the right to know but then again, if Jude would know, he might take Lucy back and make her life miserable forever. He inwardly groaned, caught up in a tangles of dilemma. He suddenly felt an idea growing out from the tip of his spine but knowing the nature of how his mind works, he tried to force it back down. But then again, it could be their only way to save Lucy from the clutches of his father- what Jude doesn't know won't kill him.

It was Cana's voice which brought him back up to reality and saved him from the manacles that was binding him.

"What was that again?" He asked his daughter.

"Lucy relapsed… dad," she took a deep breath and looked at Laxus as if asking for help but the guy beside her did not budge one bit. "I'm really sorry. I thought she stopped already but…"

"What?! You mean you knew that she had been using those things before?!" He boomed out, no longer aware of anything, as Cana shrunk at the loudness of his voice.

"It's not only her fault, old man." Laxus defended his friend.

"Don't you try to save her ass, you dummy and don't you 'old man' me!"

"..."

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair and walked back and forth before settling himself on an empty chair beside the bed where Lucy was currently in.

"What if she died? What if she went bollocks? Do you know what could have happened if Gray wasn't there? And where is he anyway?"

Laxus only shrugged his shoulders in reply. Why were they talking like preschoolers? Where did their loud mouths went off? Given the situation, Laxus and Cana were not making things easier for him. Then it suddenly came to him. Standing up, he went closer to the pair and stared right at their eyes which kept darting all over the room.

"I'll be right back, you idiots. Prepare your speeches or both your heads will roll down straight to the morgue."

He left them, closing the door behind him as fatigue settled in. 'Now, where the hell is Ul?'

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><p>Gray had no idea how long he had been gone, how long he had been sitting in the bench outside the hospital after his mom finally went back in to resume her shift. His head was wrapped up in a thick bubble and for the first time, he actually liked the fact that he was 'thinking'. He was also glad that his mother understood him and that she wasn't only just worried about him but she was also worried about Lucy as well and on top of that, she did not pry and even hinted out to make him squeeze the details out but from the look in her eyes, Gray knew that his mother kind of had an idea what was happening or probably even how he felt towards Lucy. He was also thankful that Lucy was being treated well, by the best doctor, under his mom's effort and good reputation in the hospital that became some sort of an advantage but he was still terribly worried over Lucy. It was just a feeling that he couldn't shake off.<p>

What happened earlier seemed almost too far away, as if it was only just a memory, as if it happened ages ago and the details have all been blurred out by time and for once in his life, he was not afraid, no- he did not care anymore what was going to happen to him but all that mattered right now was what could possibly happen to Lucy. She was his top priority. Then, he remembered his mother's words, all jumbled up inside his head.

Rehab?

The cuts?

Self-inflicted?

Then there's that Sting guy. Again.

Suicide.

The thought of death sent a slight goosebumps all over his exposed, pale neck. What was Lucy trying to do? Follow him into the dark? Did she want to die so she could see him again? Shaking his head, he thought 'no' and 'I'm not going to give her up', 'I definitely won't give her up, not to a dead person.' Ever. Lucy was his strength, but she was also his weakness. Will things change from now on? And their friends… what will they say? How will they react? Realizing that the bubbled was filled, he popped the transparent globe and breathed in the fresh air to calm his nerves. He now had only one goal in mind and that was to help Lucy recover, to help her out of this mess. Even if it would take him forever, hell, the world could just go through apocalypse- he'd still stand beside her.

"Yo."

Startled, he looked to his left and his eyes widened with surprise.

"G-g-gildarts?!"

The man grinned at him and occupied the bench across him as he lighted up a cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply. "Aaahh. Finally."

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" The old man mocked him back, still grinning like a devil on playtime.

"I'm here as Lucy's guardian, of course. Do you even have to ask that?"

Gray only shook his head, gulping down his retorts.

"So, care to tell me what happened? My own beloved daughter and Laxus lost their tongues. I hope you still have yours intact."

Gray let out an audible sigh, clearly reluctant now that his peaceful reverie was destroyed by a smoking old man. "I can tell you but I don't know how."

"I'm not going to force you, kid. I'll just have to ask your mother then. Where is she?"

Gray pretended not to hear anything. He was just not ready to set his life back in motion again, not that time itself actually paused for a bit. He wanted to go back quickly beside Lucy but he didn't want to move from this peaceful spot yet. Here, it seemed as if the time stopped for him, so he can think things over and going back inside would mean that the time will run again and he had to face everything head-on. He only hoped that he had the strength and the energy to keep up the fight.

"Is…," he tried hard not to stutter. "Is she going to be alright?"

Suddenly, Gildarts sat beside him and stubbed the cigarette butt with his shoe. He looked at the boy beside him and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure she'll be just fine."

"Are you sure? What if she leave again? What if one day, she'll disappear?"

He was thrown aback with Gray's words until it occurred to him. His eyes gleamed with his new recovery, Gildarts felt a spark of hope for Lucy and finally succumbed to his decisions earlier. Jude doesn't have to know.

"Well then you'll just have to make her realize that she has a reason to stay."

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><p>She went home with a visible smirk plastered on her face. The wind was finally working in her favor, she thought. She almost wanted to laugh out loud maniacally but held back herself, thinking that it was too early to indulge herself in her upcoming victory. Gray will be hers again and that Lucy girl could just rot in her own drugged world. She was nothing but a junkie but how come 'her' Gray-sama fell in love with such a vile person? She was just some fucked-up slut, sleeping with any guy who would try and get on inside her pants. Juvia didn't care if she was some rich man's daughter. She no longer cared even if the rest of them would make an enemy out of her. They could just side with Lucy but Gray will be hers again and this time, nothing can stop her. No one will stop her. She will make sure of that.<p>

Her plan worked and somehow, it's going on smoothly like how she had expected it to be. At first she didn't think that Lucy would fall right into her trap but the girl had been not quite right in the head anyways and it just made sense that she won on the first try. It was time to set the gears in motion and Lucy will finally be out of the picture. She opened her bag beside her and took out the envelope, feeling so proud of herself. She took out a paper knife from her bedside drawer and carefully opened the envelope with it, her fingers trembling in excitement. When she took them out, her eyes widened and she felt like she had been poured by a bucket of a scalding, hot water. Gripping the contents of the envelope, almost crumpling them, anger took over her as she gritted her teeth.

"That fucking asshole!"

**TBC**

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><p>Sorry for the late update!<p>

Please don't forget to R&R!

And oh, of course, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

The ending's about to come soon... I think. Any suggestions or requests?

I'd be very glad to hear from you guys!

Until then!


	23. Until The Sunlight Burns You Happy

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO<strong>

**UNTIL THE SUNLIGHT BURNS YOU HAPPY**

She woke up, feeling tingly all over. There was no need for her to take her time because by the moment she opened her eyes, she was instantly wide awake as if she had not been sleeping at all. Her eyes were wide and her senses were heightened. She moved her head from side to side, trying to comprehend where she was. White walls, white sheets, white curtains, white everything. It looked like she was inside a hospital room. On her left, the curtains were parted open in the middle and tied on the sides, letting the light come in. It could be morning or noon but not possibly afternoon since the sunlight was intense. At this juncture, the not so noticeable things were none of her concern. She looked down, still sensing as if there were insects crawling all over her body, making her shiver and making the hairs on her neck stand up from the prickling sensation. She closed her eyes again, just feeling and thinking what kinds of insects were there. Ants? Crickets? Beetles? Bugs? There were some on her arms, some on her legs, her neck up to her jaw: crawling here and there, only to appear and disappear once again. They were just all over her and for some strange reasons, the feeling of these insects crawling upon her skin brought a smile up her lips until she realized how parched her throat was at the moment.

Her trance was interrupted when she felt someone looking at her. She moved her head to the side and opened her eyes, surprised that it took her a while before she realized that Gray was actually just beside her bed, merely inches away from her. He looked like he just woke up as well since he was rubbing his right eye. For a good, long moment they just looked at each other, lips tightly sealed until Gray, who had the better working mind at the moment, decided to speak up to break the comfortable silence between them.

"How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," came her reply. He nodded and poured her a glass of water. Standing up beside her bed and helping her sit up, he handed her the glass of water carefully and watched her drown it down with slow gulps. After settling the empty glass back on the bedside table, he pressed the intercom and waited for the doctor or the nurse to come.

"How long was I out?"

"More than a day, perhaps."

"Have… Uh, were you here all the time?"

Gray nodded with a smile. Truth be told he did not, not even once, left her side ever since she was rushed to the hospital. It was more likely that he refused until finally, Gildarts and his mom allowed him to stay and watch over her. Gray did not want to miss anything, especially since she was not able to wake up after, well, just a few minutes ago. He followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at his bag sitting on the couch behind him and noticed that she was kind of blushing.

"Gray?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going to happen? I mean, after I get discharged."

For some reasons, her head cleared up and she was no longer in her usual shattered state. Lucy knew what she was going through and was glad that she wasn't alone. She only hoped that he had the patience to see this through with her. Before Gray could reply, a nurse stepped in and saw that she was up. She checked her vitals, she checked how she felt and left the room to inform the doctor and prepared her food and medicine. They were alone again.

"I should probably tell Gildarts that you're finally up. He left last night with Cana and Laxus. They should be here soon though." Gray said, easing back into the bedside chair as she nodded in his direction. Lucy tensed up a little when he felt her grab her hand, squeezing it gently as he brushed his thumb at the back of her hand, feeling the softness of her skin.

"Lucy?"

She looked at him and saw the tenderness in his eyes. Today, his usual dark orbs were lighter, almost bright as a snowflake. He had always been breathtakingly handsome for her, always looking so perfect in her eyes. She tried to bite back the smile that was trying to pry its way on her lips.

"Will you stay clean from now on?"

Somehow, his question took her off guard slightly, his words were sincere and innocent that all she did was nod her head in return, earning her a dazzling smile from him.

"I know it's too much to ask," he said. "I have no idea how it's going to be difficult for you to go all through this but I promise you I'll do what I can to at least, you know, ease up the load. Please, Lucy?"

"You don't have to."

Gray shook his head and kissed the back of her hand. "I insist and I'm not going to take a no for an answer but please, stay clean this time, okay?"

"I promise."

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><p>To say that she was tricked was a big understatement. Juvia knew that it was more than just being deceived. She could not believe that she fucked up something that was so easy and that things did not go according to her plans. She knew that she had been careful but being plainly careful somehow was just not enough for her plans to go without a hitch. But then again, how? Lucy barely had friends here in Magnolia, she barely knew the people around yet so how come instead of being the one up the pedestal, the result had fired back to her?<p>

She looked at the now ripped contents of the envelope and instead of seeing Lucy and Hibiki together, she only found several pictures of dead cats. Some had their guts spilled on the pavement and it made her want to puke her brains out. Enraged, she crumpled the torn pieces of the pictures and sent them falling dramatically down the floor, huffing at how things turned out. She took out the envelope once more and found a note that says, 'I have more'.

"Sick bastard!"

She tore the note to pieces, as if trying to kill Hibiki as if he was that piece of note. Her hands were shaking from the whole sham as she took out her phone and dialed his number but it just rang and rang. She tried again and the result was the same until on her third time, she was greeted by a low chuckling voice.

"Took you long enough."

"What the fuck are you playing at?!" She shouted on the phone in her obvious anger.

"Do I really have to spell it out to you?" He laughed again, "I play dirty but I'm not a bad such a bad guy, Ms. Lockser. Too bad you picked the wrong person to do your whorish work and save yourself from asking me pointless questions. I did not fuck her like you told me to. Tsk. Tsk. That Lucy girl, she was a nice girl and apparently, she's not some kind of a jealous bitch like you are."

Juvia cut of the line, not wanting to listen to him while he rubbed it on her face. She had been duped, deceived and instead of hating Hibiki, instead of hating herself, she directed her anger towards Lucy. How come that bitch always gets everything? When she came back in Magnolia it looked like the blond stole all the limelight: her friend's attentions and even Gray's. Hell, Lucy stole what was supposed to be hers… rightfully. Juvia's body shook in anger, a dark aura surrounded her as her eyes turn black.

"That bitch is going to pay."

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><p>Gray and Lucy were laughing together as he was telling her animatedly about Natsu's embarrassing moments while they were still young when the door opened. A young, blue-haired doctor came in and was followed by a nurse with a dark, short hair, almost the same color as Gray's, and Gildarts trailed behind them. Lucy perked up when she saw him as the man rushed over and enveloped her into a bone crushing hug. Gray moved away from the chair and sat on the bench by the wall to give room to the adults.<p>

"I have missed you, Princess." Gildarts ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead before letting the doctor examine her.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Heartfilia?" The doctor asked her as the nurse took notes.

"I'm doing fine. I think and just Lucy, please."

"Fine is just a broad word, Lucy," the doctor smiled at her but then nodded. "I'm Wendy Marvel, I'm the one who's currently in charge with your case but Dr. Porlyusica will take over soon."

The nurse stepped in and held Lucy's wrist, checking her pulse. "Hi, Lucy. Do you remember me?"

Lucy blinked for a moment, looking at the nurse's face and frowned. She shook her head. The nurse looked familiar but she could not point out where she had seen her or if she had meet her long ago.

"I'm Ul. Gray's mom," she explained.

"Oh." Lucy blushed in embarrassment, feeling a little shy.

"Lucy, can you tell us what happened? Are you ready to talk?" The doctor asked her.

She hesitated for a moment. "I can but I don't know where to start."

"Gray, can you help her?"

The boy's mouth hang open and he scratched the back of his head. He fidgeted for a while, also not knowing where to start but he figured he could just tell them about that night. He looked at Lucy for a while who nodded her head to him, signaling him to start.

"Uh," he said. "I found her inside my room, she was uhm, soaked from the rain and she was bleeding and all so I cleaned her up… Then, uh, by the next morning she was all weird, sweating and it looked like she was having delusions or something."

"So you don't know what else happened before you found her?" The doctor inquired at Gray nodded in response, uncomfortable that all eyes were on him.

"Lucy?"

"I don't really know. I relapsed… I guess. It's all hazy to me now, like I've been dreaming and I'm not really sure what happened and what didn't. It's all jumbled up inside my head."

This time, Lucy had a somber look on her face. if she wanted to get better, she had to try harder than that but for now, this was all that she could come up with from her memory. The doctor moved closer to her and checked her eyes.

"That's to be expected. It's okay. Now, Lucy, I'm going to be honest with you, all right? I already talked to Mr. Clives here and he agreed with me. You can get out by tomorrow but I advise you to stay at home for a couple of days since you're still be undergoing through withdrawal and it's not going to be easy. I won't give you any medications since it will only hamper the progress and once the storm's over, you'll be meeting up regularly with Dr. Porlyusica and she's decided whether or not to send you to rehab for your total recovery."

"Will I really get b-better?" Lucy asked.

"It's all up to you, Lucy. It depends on how much you want for yourself to get better but seeing that you have such a strong support group, I'm sure it will be an easy task for you. I have already arranged a good doctor for you so rest assured, you are going to be okay."

Lucy nodded and tried to swallow back the cold lump in her throat that she did not know she had. The doctor bade her goodbye, telling her that she'll be back again to check up on her and asked Gildarts to follow her outside the room. Once they had left, Lucy felt tense, somehow shy that Gray's mother was around. She almost cursed herself for acting so out of character, having lost her confidence because of what he had been doing to herself and to the people around her. Gray moved back to sit in the chair beside her bed as Ul watched them together with a playful smile on her lips.

"Gray, you know you have classes to attend to, right?" His mom reminded him.

Oh, yeah. They forgot and Ul had to remind them. Gray only grinned at his mother who sighed in defeat. "All right. All right but be sure to go to school tomorrow."

"I'm sorry." Lucy said, her eyes strained down on the sheet, covering her lower body as her left fingers played with the hem of the sheet.

"You don't have to apologize, Lucy. It's all right. Once you're fine how about you come over and have dinner with us? I'd be thrilled to have you around and not to mention that my Gray over here had managed to get such a beautiful girlfriend."

"Mom!"

Girlfriend? Lucy choked at the older woman's words, her face reddening as Ul's giggles filled the room but she felt somehow giddy and strangely happy. Gray, on the other hand, covered his now equally red face with his hand. Groaning and whining at his mom to stop teasing them.

"It's a deal then," Ul smiled at them. "Well, duty calls. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. Be good now." She left them with a wink.

"I'm really sorry about that." Gray said, finally glad that they were alone again.

Lucy giggled. "It's fine. Your mom's really nice."

"Really?" He grinned at her. "So, you're fine with being my girlfriend?"

Did she hear him right? A deep shade of red creeped up her cheeks and she felt a flutter in her belly. Sensing this, turned away from him, trying hard not to let him see the grin she had on. Was it okay for her to be happy? Was it okay for her to smile like this as if nothing bad had ever happened? Lucy admitted to herself that it really felt nice for once to actually not feel sad or angry about anything. She looked outside the window and saw how beautiful everything was, how everything gleamed under the sunlight. Gray stood up, his heart beating madly for her inside his chest and sat beside her, draping an arm on her shoulder. He slowly grabbed her chin and moved it to his direction, until they were face to face. He cupped her cheeks and gently brushed her lower lip with his thumb and closed the distance between them with a kiss that says it all.

"I love you, Lucy."

Here, in this hospital room, with Gray right beside her, she finally found the answer that she had been looking for.

No. There is nothing wrong with being too happy. Nothing at all.

**TBC**

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><p>Sorry for the late update!<p>

Please don't forget to R&R.

The end's closing in but don't worry, I'll be writing another story after this one.

Any suggestions for Lucy's pair?

Please don't forget to R&R

THANK YOU GUYS! :)


	24. We're Effin Perfect

So, I guess this is going to be the last chapter of _Paradise Circus. _I'm really sorry if the ending seemed a little bit rushed but no matter how hard I try and think about what else that I could up, I just couldn't think of anything. Plus, I somehow felt that it was time for me to end this just the way it is. If I happen to disappoint you guys with this decision, I'm really, really sorry. I really enjoyed writing this and I was glad to receive so much reviews, favorites and followers. I know that this is my first story so I guess I'm still learning how to do the ropes but newsflash: I am writing another story called _Liar, Liar_. I hope that y'all continue to support me all the way!

Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE<strong>

**WE'RE EFFIN PERFECT**

When Gildarts arrived early in the morning at the hospital, his bitter morning was greeted by a sight of Gray feeding Lucy her breakfast. Clearing his throat with a knowing look on his face, the teenagers blushed deep scarlet and stuttered morning greetings to him.

"Well, well, look at you two," he commented as he slid the door close after stepping inside. "You both make me sick and it's early in the morning. Go on, I'm entertained."

"Stop it, uncle!" Lucy reprimanded him, trying hard not to smile while Gray stopped what he was doing and straightened out himself.

"I guess that's my signal," he said, taking his bag from the chair. "I should go now or mom will kill me. I'll see you soon, all right?" He moved towards the girl and kissed her gently on her forehead while Gildarts made a gagging noise on the background.

"Bye, old man." Gray said and left, leaving a still blushing Lucy in the clutches of her childish uncle. Gildarts moved over to her and kissed her cheek while she finished her breakfast.

"So, finally. You'll be discharged today. Better get ready while I deal with the hospital bill and talk to Dr. Wendy. Cana took a day off from school so she's at home waiting for you."

"You've been tricked, haven't you?" This time, it was Lucy's turn.

"But I just couldn't refuse my baby girl." Gildarts pouted, making Lucy cringe at how he looked.

"Act like you age, you dirty old man!"

Gildarts only laughed, seeing Lucy glow again and left, thinking why does everybody calls him an old man.

* * *

><p><strong>LUCY POV<strong>

Two long weeks passed by quickly. After I was discharged out of the hospital, my friends had been visiting me almost everyday, making sure that I was doing well. Somehow, their constant visits did not annoy me anymore and I had grown to love each passing minute that I spent with them right by my side. When they first learned that I was hospitalized, true enough, hell broke loose as they complained why they were not told about what happened and ever since then, they would come over when they were free, bringing me gifts to make up for the whole time that they were not beside me. Natsu kept on bringing me cooked fish as if I was some kind of a hungry cat, Levy brought me some good books, Erza brought me a whole cake but she ended up eating it anyways.

I stopped going to school as ordered by my new doctor but my credentials were withheld for the next semester. So I spent my days at home, reading, going to my doctor every now and then and of course, with Gray. He was so perfect, so sweet that I was glad to actually love him. This time, I made up my mind to make up for the bad things that I did to him. He treated me genlty but he was sensitive enough to give me space sometimes. Two two long weeks were both like hell and heaven for me. Hell, because I was still not clean. On some occasions I would have this huge cravings for meth that I thought I was going mad. Gildarts banned Cana and I from drinking and locked up all the liquor somewhere in the apartment where we could not find them while Gray helped me to quit smoking. It was hard, really but I know that my hard work will pay off someday and feeling loved was the best thing ever. The sun started shinning for me once again and I wanted it to stay that way.

It was heaven at the same time because I was finally able to open up myself to Gray and I was on my way to recovery. My past no longer haunts me and Sting, well, it's still too early for me to say but I had been trying to my best to accept what happened to us, to him. So I told Gray everything. I told him what happened when I woke up that one tragic morning, tied up on Sting's bed. Gray held me close while I told him what happened. We were in the living room at his house after we watched a movie together with his sister.

Oh, and there's Juvia. When she heard that Gray and I started dating for real this time and after seeing how he spent every moment with me, the look on her face was priceless. It turned out that she decided to leave Magnolia again without making promises of coming back. I guess that my relationship with Gray really blew her over. Lyon stopped talking to me as well and barely hung out with the group. I've been hoping to talk to him soon but somehow I realized that we weren't both ready to actually talk. My friends in Crocus had been calling me as well, asking how I was and all since the news of my hospitalization traveled really fast. It had been really hectic for me but then again, maybe my coming here in Magnolia was for a reason, a new life for me and I was glad to finally find a family to love.

* * *

><p><strong>FLASHBACK<strong>

"_How's it going to be, Lucy?"_

_His voice sent shivers down her spine and it was the bad kind. Lucy yanked and yanked but the rope was tied securely. Sobbing, Lucy begged him to untie her but Sting turned a deaf ear to her pleas. He watched her squirm on his bed with an amused face, holding a gun. _

"_Your choice, Lucy," he said. "You die or I die."_

"_Please, no. Stop this, Sting. Put that away." _

"_Tch. I never thought that you would look so pathetic."_

_Sting stood up and left the gun on the chair. He walked towards the bed, sitting in front of her. Lucy tried to move away as he brough his hand up towards her face, cupping her cheeks. Closing her eyes, Lucy tried to remain calm but her tears did not cease to fall. Then suddenly, without warming, he slapped her. A moment of silence passed by before she felt a sudden shift of movement, she opened her eyes, her cheek red from his spanking and watched him as he went back to his chair, gently caressing the gun as if it was some sort of a golden treasure. _

"_I only have a bullet with me, you know. Enough to kill one person." _

_In between sobs, Lucy choked out the words. "Why are you doing this?"_

_Sting laughed loudly as if he was enjoying everything. "Simple, really, but I'm not going to tell you because you don't really need to know. It's just like what you said. Humans are weak, we are fucking weak that's why we do these kind of fucked up things. I've never been such a strong person, you know."_

"_No!" Lucy said. "You're wrong! You're strong! You save me, Sting. You made me happy!"_

_His face contorted in anger at her words. "Made? It's really over now, is it?"_

_Lucy bit her lip. It wasn't a slip of the tongue. The words just came out naturally and he happen to catch everything. "Just stop, please."_

"_Stop your fucking whinning!" He screamed. _

_Lucy didn't know what to think anymore. It wasn't Sting who was right in front of her. It was a different person and there was no way that she could win over him being tied up like this. _

"_Don't worry, Lucy," his voice was suddenly low and soft but he still looked the same. There were anger and madness in his eyes, a look that she couldn't describe with a few simple words. "Things will get better for you from now on." _

_*BANG!_

* * *

><p>It was her first time being in his graveyard, it was her first time seeing his name etched on a slab of stone with parting words. Lucy bent down and placed the boquet of yellow flowers on the ground with happy tears on her eyes. Standing up, Gray instantly wrapped his arms around her into a hug as she sobbed against his chest. He didn't say anything but just being with him calmed her down.<p>

It was after the term ended when Lucy decided to go back to Crocus to finally say her proper goodbye to him and Gray insisted that he should tag along. Of course, Lucy could not refuse him and so they travelled together after contacting Yukino to arrange a place for them to stay. They planned to stay for three days in Crocus so Lucy could catch up with her friends once more.

Rubbing her her back, Lucy broke away from his hug and wiped the tears from her eyes and intertwined her fingers on Gray's as they faced this tomb. Lucy whispered goodbye and turned to Gray.

"It's finally over now, is it?" She asked him.

Gray only nodded and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Just as he loved you, I will too. I promise you, Lucy. I'll never forget and I'll never let go."

Lucy smiled at him.

"Thank you Gray," she whispered to him but Gray shook his head.

"We should thank Sting, Lucy. I know this may sound really selfish but because of him we had this chance to meet, because of him you learned a lot of things, you learned how to be strong. I knew that he never meant to hurt you."

"I know."

Hand in hand, they left the memorial park in a comfortable silence.

* * *

><p><strong>EPILOGUE<strong>

"Hurry up and help me here!"

The woman's voice was from the kitchen. A five year old with a dark, raven hair and big doe-brown eyes groaned as he flicked a pink-haired boy's forehead who was trapped under him.

"You'll pay for that, Fullbuster!" Struggling, Haru Dragneel broke an arm free and pushed the boy away from him.

"How much?" the dark haired boy retorted back, trying to land a punch on Haru.

"A hundred fucking bucks!"

"OI!"

The two froze, suddenly feeling scared. Slowly and mechanically, they turned their head to the direction of the voice and cringed when they saw a young girl with a light red hair glaring daggers at them.

"Hehehehe." The boy chorused as they sat up abruptly and Haru snaked an arm on the other boy's shoulder. The girl only "hmph-ed" and sat on the couch, crossing her legs as she faced the two of them who were sitting on the floor.

"Garrett Fullbuster!"

"Aye!" the young Fullbuster hurried away from the living room and rushed to the kitchen, not wanting to stay where Ruby was. He sniggered, thinking how Haru would suffer under the girl's wrath. She had caught them fighting again and no matter how hard they try cover it up, the girl always knew better.

"What were you doing?" Lucy looked at her son who skipped his way on the kitchen while still sniggering.

"Nothing." He said sheepishly.

Sighing, she transfered the salad in a large bowl and gave it to him. "Now, bring this outside carefuly."

The boy carefully took the bowl from her mother and went at the backyard where the whole family was gathered. It was a noisy Sunday and they were having fun. Levy and Gajeel were both expecting and by gods, Laxus had managed to ask Mira out after they graduated. A few years back then, everyone knew who will end up with who but they still settled it through their usual bets. Lucy watched her family through the window on the kitchen, washing her hands on the sink with a smile on her face. Suddenly, she felt 'his' strong arms snake around her waist. She turned the water off and quickly turned her body, facing him. After all this time, he still looked so beautiful. Gray kissed his wife's forehead and grinned.

"Come on, food's waiting." He said without breaking his arms away from her waist. Lucy, on the other hand, locked her arms around his neck.

"I know, but first…" she kissed him genlty, biting his lower lip. The fire just doesn't die out that easily.

"EEEUUUWWW."

Startled, they adults broke away from their heated kiss as Lucy cleared her throat. She quickly went to the fridge and took out the blueberry cheesecake for dessert. Gray, on the other hand, decided to tease the two kids standing on the doorway of te kitchen.

"Oh look, it's the pink and red brats."

Hearing this, Lucy smacked his arm, earning her a playful angry look from her husband.

"Shut up, Fullbuster! You're just like your son!" Haru said snobbishly, his nose stuck in the air while crossing his arms on his chest. Lucy glared at the young boy and walked towards him.

"What-did-you-just-say? Huh?" She was smiling but evily.

Ruby smacked the back of Haru's head and the adults only sighed. Gildarts saw the whole thing and came to the rescue. "Now, now. Let's not keep everyone waiting, all right? Time to eat! Let's go! Chop, chop!" The old man ushered the kids outside and both Lucy and Gray soon followed, hand in hand.

Standing at the doorstep, they were greeted by a warm sight. It was family, after all. Even if it was really tiring to contain the mess and the funny fights, they both knew that it was what kept all of them together.

"I'll never get tried of this," Lucy commented with a smile, caressing her slightly bulging stomach.

"Me too, Luce. This is family and it's perfect."

**END**

* * *

><p>...AND THE LAST CHAPTER IS HERE!<p>

PARADISE CIRCUS IS NOW OVER!

Thank you so much for reading this!

Also, please don't forget to check out my new story "Liar, Liar"

I hope this was okay.

-Sahara Niseli


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